Somewhere We Only Know
by Grey'sAddict97
Summary: Derek and Meredith used to hookup as teens. What will happen when they meet up with each other in the present? Will they fall in love and become a couple or just stay friends?
1. Old Friends

**As stated in my other fanfictions, I also found and will be add my own personal touches as well. Moreover, I will be fixing grammar, changing names, among other things. All original materials and rights still are owned by aquariusmind.**

**This fic is going to be snarky, and porny, and witty, and porny, and tad angsty and porny and...did I mention porny?**

**So if you blush at sex scenes, if you giggle awkwardly at dirty words, if you think whores are bad people... you might want to think twice about reading this, because if you proceed I take no liability in corrupting you..**.

* * *

**_Chapter 1: Old Friends_**

It had been a long menial day for Derek. He rubbed his tired eyes as he walked across the bridge, glancing out the large glass wall of the hospital and seeing a solid sheet of rain. He shook his head; he would be glad to get back home. One week in Seattle would be enough, and he'd only just arrived. He passed through a door to enter a private hallway; a man waved him a welcome from an office window. Happy to see him, overjoyed may be the more appropriate word.

"Ah, Derek." Richard awed "I can't tell you how thrilled you accepted my offer."

"Don't get ahead of yourself as usual Richard." Derek said "I only accepted your plea of help on this unusual case. I never said I was staying."

"Yes." Richard murmured, though his eyes fierce "Our neuro attending is quite confident that outside help won't be necessary. But since I know you personally, and you've done a few, I feel otherwise."

"Well cocky, overconfident neurosurgeons have a tendency of thinking too much of themselves."

"You would know." Richard narrowed his eyes.

"And I'm sure that you trying to persuade me into staying and joining your team is no part of this 'feeling' of yours?" Derek asked, Richard cleared his throat and shifted a little, "I will need to do a full evaluation as soon as possible."

"Yes, I'll try to get my neuro attending to give up enough of her time to meet with you."

"Not necessary Richard, I'm quite confident in my abilities of a consultation."

"I agree." Richard nodded "But my attending is well…. rather territorial of her patients."

"Well." Derek smirked "I can handle myself, I'm a big boy."

Richard mumbled something under his breath and then sighed "As you wish, feel free to wander around a little, get the feel for the place, and jump in."

"Again Richard." Derek rolled his eyes "I'm out of Seattle by week's end."

Richard ignored him as he walked out of the office and spurring from pure curiosity, he took Richard's advice to wander a little. He didn't see anything he really seemed satisfied with. He was quite happy in his Manhattan lifestyle, everyone minded their own business, he had a well-established practice. Though sometimes he missed the fast-paced hospital job, he was happy to have set hours, as was his girlfriend. Someone he could see himself spending a life with, someone he really tried and wanted to make happy. Someone to settle down with, and someone who liked the sun, that of which Seattle seemed to forever lack.

He sighed with boredom after walking up and down the surgical floor and finding nothing of amusement. He was about to board the elevator when a sound of fast paced activity caught his attention. He looked over his shoulder to see a crash team of nurses and interns rush into a room in the corner. He couldn't simply help himself and his feet carried him over to the room, just after they revived the patient.

"Page Dr. Grey." The intern said, "I need to ask her what meds to give him for the seizures if phentynol doesn't work again."

"You know we can't do that." A nurse said, "She'll maim every single one of us if we disturb her in surgery."

"I know! I know!" the interns muttered "But I don't know what else to do!"

"You could try valium." Derek said, they all looked up to see him standing in the doorway "I'm not sure what this other doctor has been prescribing, but when all else fails for me I go for the relaxant." They all glanced amongst themselves as he walked over to the patient and got out his flashlight, the machines beeped as he started to crash again "Scratch that, get an OR ready stat! His brain is swelling."

"But…but…" the intern argued "This is Dr. Grey's patient sir."

"Well I don't give a rats ass if this is the surgeon general's patient. This man's brain is swelling so unless you want to be the one to go downstairs and tell his family that he died because YOU wanted to wait for this Dr. Grey…I suggest you move your ass and get me an available OR!"

The intern was rendered speechless as he stuttered and then nodded and ran out the door. Derek looked sternly at the nurses and they all scrambled at once to get the patient prepped for surgery. He smirked to himself, maybe he could find some amusement in Seattle for the time he would be there.

* * *

"How was surgery?" the Asian woman to her right asked.

"Ugh." Meredith groaned "Incompetent nurses, incompetent interns."

"They're always incompetent to you." Christina smirked "Maybe you should lower your standards."

"And maybe they should raise theirs." She muttered "I cannot continue working with lazy mentally incompetent staff like this…it's getting out of hand!"

"You need to get laid."

"True." Meredith raised her brows a second

"Well I'll leave you to ponder that, I have to go see if my incompetent staff has prepped me post op notes."

"Same." Meredith nodded "And check on my 4B patient, see if my interns haven't killed him yet."

Christina snickered, and they parted ways in the hallway. Meredith sighed and ran her hand over her face and then up to remove her surgical cap. She turned the corner and walked into her patients room and skidded to a stop when she found it empty and bed less. She scoffed and muttered a profanity, she turned and saw an intern passing by at a run, she reached out and grabbed a handful of the back of her pants, stopping her at a halt.

"You!" she growled "Where the hell is my patient!"

"I…I…I don't know Dr. G…G…Grey." She stuttered.

"Not an acceptable answer!" she muttered "You're an intern, interns are runts, no bodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, they also hear every bit of gossip going through this bloody hospital as much as any nurse does. So you will tell me what you've heard or I will end your fight to the top of the food chain by having you for my professional lunch!"

"I um..I."

"Three seconds!"

"OR 4." She mumbled.

Meredith growled under her breath and let the intern go, then turned on her heels and marched around the corner and down the hall to the OR's. She slammed the door to the scrub room and ripped down a mask, she held it over her face and charged for the automatic doors. She saw a crowd of surgical team surrounding the table. And an unknown surgeon at the head of it, operating…on _HER_ patient. He must be new, because no one else would dare do such a thing to her. She marched into the OR with a huff.

"So!" she yelled out "Which one of you bastards has balls the size of Volkswagens and stole my patient!"

The operating surgeon seemed to perk up a little at the sound of her irate voice, his ears tightened up as if he were smiling. She just then noticed the brown curls peeping out of his ferry boat scrub cap as he turned around.

"That would be me." He said, "But you already know the size of my balls."

"Fuck me running." She gasped as she rocked back on her heels "Derek fucking Shepherd! What the hell are you doing here?" she let out a soft chuckle "Come…give me a hug."

"I can't." he grinned and held up his gloved hands "Sterile."

"Well what kind of karma did you piss off to get brought to Seattle?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he smiled "I thought you were in San Francisco, why in god's name would you want to move to Seattle?"

"You know better than anyone I love being wet."

"Oh." He grinned "That I do." He noticed a few mumbling voices of gossip around them and sighed "Join me, I beg you."

"Oh I've already had my fill of incompetence today." She said "If you don't finish him off I'm sure the interns will. Go ahead, do your worse."

"Insulting the hand that taught you now?"

"Ha!" she laughed "The only thing you ever taught me was that size really does matter."

"Well." He chuckled "I figured you would learn that eventually." He sighed "We must meet for drinks after your shift, we have a lot of catching up to do."

"That we do my well-endowed friend." She said "Joe's, six o'clock."

"Not sure where that is but I'm sure the smell of tequila will lead the way."

"You know me so well." She said as she turned to walk out "Oh and Derek."

"Yes?"

"Don't plan on being sterile for very long."

* * *

**Please comment and review?**


	2. Best Friends

**_Chapter 2: Best Friends_**

**_September 15, 1989_**

Senior year. Derek smiled at the thought of that as he walked out of the school mid-afternoon on the fall day. Sporting his letterman jacket proudly, as captain of the football team, he loved school and knew that would be a good thing seeing as he would see a lot of it in his quest to become a doctor. But soon being out of high school seemed to hold a good feeling. It was nice to only have to go to school for half a day too, one of the benefits of working his ass off to get ahead.

He turned the corner of the large brick building and stopped on his toes when something fell in front of him. He frowned as she looked at his feet to see a small black bag, then before he could look up a purse fell, he frowned deeper and then heard a soft gasp and there before him was a skinny blonde rolling out of the shrubs.

"Oh." He said, "That makes sense now."

"Ugh." She groaned as she picked herself up off the ground "Glad you stopped so I didn't have to crush you."

"With your size?" he scoffed "I think the ants survived."

"What are you doing out of class boy-scout?" she asked and brushed off her skirt and knees, she noticed one of them was bleeding and sighed "Great."

"I only have half days, I'm done for the school day."

"Cool." She smiled "me too."

"Oh?" he raised his brow and looked up "Is that why you're sneaking out of a second story girl's bathroom window and almost killing yourself to get out? Because you're done for the day."

"Hey, all my work is done ok." She defended.

"Somehow I'm finding doubt in that."

"And who are you, some kind of school monitor?" she muttered "I have all my work done for the month if you're so interested in knowing."

"The whole month!" Derek gasped "That's impossible!"

"Not impossible." She rolled her eyes and slung her bag over her shoulder "it's called sneaking into the principal's office and stealing a copy of the teacher's lesson plan."

"But they have the whole year planned out." He frowned.

"Genius." She rolled her eyes "A month's work is all I could get done in a night."

"A night." He stuttered "As in one?"

"Yeah, 'A' usually means one." She said, he stood there looking dumbfounded "Look I'm jailbait right now so I'm enjoying this chat, really I am boy-scout, but I gotta skat."

"Right, right." Derek nodded, he thought he had her sized up on first sight. A girl with unruly blonde hair, wearing combat boots with her school uniform and jumping out of a second story window meant trouble, but she actually seemed kind of interesting, and least of all smart "Well do you need a ride?"

She looked up at him surprised, she thought about it for a moment and sighed "Sure, why not."

He flashed a small smile before leading the way towards the parking lot. She looked around to make sure the coast was clear and then caught up to him.

"So which Mercedes Benz is yours?" she asked.

"Mercedes Benz?"

"Well yeah, figured it's what all the boy-scouts drove. And half the students on average."

"What do you drive?"

"Nothing." She groaned "My mother will only buy me one car, and I'd rather walk."

"Let me guess….Mercedes Benz." He teased. Her sideways glare was enough of an answer. They stared walking towards the east parking lot and as he pulled his keys out she made a whooshing sound of appreciation.

"Oh god, please tell me that is NOT your car."

"A minute ago you were calling me boy-scout, now it's god?" he chided "My name is Derek by the way."

"I know your name." she muttered and gestured to the stitching on his jacket "But is that your car?"

She pointed to the black 1967 Shelby GT mustang coupe with adoration and a look of lust in her eyes.

"This one right here?" he asked and stuck his key into the lock and opened the trunk. "yeah, this is mine."

"This is exactly the car I want." She moaned "And exactly the car my mother will forever refuse to buy me."

"I'll take that as a compliment." He smiled and hopped in, reached over and opened the door for her "And why don't you just save your allowance?"

"You think she trusts me to handle my own money?" she asked with an arched brow "ha!"

"So what is it exactly that your parents do that got you into this place?"

"What makes you think that they got me anywhere?" she answered offensively "Maybe I got myself in with good grades and smarts."

"Even the smartest of students have rich parents." He said, "Chilton is one of the most expensive schools on the east coast, so what is it?"

"They're doctors." She huffed with defeat "My mother's a surgeon, my father is a medical research doctor…yours?"

"My father is a lawyer, mother is a shrink."

"God what an interesting match they must be!"

"They get along pretty well actually." He smirked "Surprisingly anyway."

"So will you be following in Daddy's footsteps?" she asked as they pulled onto the freeway "Will you be off to law school after college?"

"No actually." He said, "Med school…I want to be a doctor, always have, as much of a disappointment that is to him."

"Your father's disappointed that you'll be a doctor?" Meredith raised her brow "What a piece of work, sounds like my mother."

"And does she expect you to go into the family business?"

"Yes." Meredith sighed "And as much as I hate it, I think I'm born for it."

"Why so?"

"Other than the fact that I'm brilliant, I'm actually fascinated by blood and all that stuff."

"Speaking of blood." He said gesturing to her knee. "Do you need a band-aid or something?"

"No." she shrugged "It'll dry, so unless your half vampire or something I'm sure I'll be fine."

"I assure you." He laughed "I'm a hundred percent human."

She giggled, a sound that he found tickling to his ears. She leaned forward and turned on the radio.

"There's a tape in there you might like." He said, "Addison put it in this morning."

"Somehow I doubt that the captain of the cheerleading squad and I have the same taste in music." She rolled her eyes but pressed play anyway. She instantly scoffed and looked at him in horror "Celine Dion? Are you kidding me! How dare you."

"What? I thought all girls liked her."

"This car is not a girly girl car." She said, "You disgrace this car by putting Celine Dion in it." She pressed the eject button and tossed the tape out the window with a sound of disgust. "My ears will be traumatized for a month."

"Great." He muttered "Now what am I going to tell Addison when she wants her tape back?"

"Tell her it's laying in the gutter on 23rd and Flounder." Meredith mocked "Or tell her nothing at all, what do you even see in that bitch who walks around like she's god's gift to earth anyway? I mean really Derek, you don't look like a red head kind of guy."

"Oh?" he asked "What kind of guy do I look like?"

"The kind who shouldn't get caught up in other's image of who he should be or date." She said, "For Christ sake you're rebelling your father's wishes of you, why be a hypocrite to yourself and go with your friend's flow?"

Derek thought about it for a second and a grin spread across his lips. He reached into the center console and grabbed a tape and then shoved it into the cassette player. He turned the volume up a little as it started to play, she stared at the stereo in delight and a brilliant grin spread across her face.

"You like Lynard Skynard." He chuckled "I should have known."

"Boy-scout?"

"Yes, Pigeon."

"Pigeon…" she arched a brow.

"Well since I don't know your name, and you tossed your crap all over me, I saw it as appropriate."

"Meredith." She giggled "My name is Meredith."

"Yes, Meredith?" the name rolled off his tongue.

"Derek….I do believe we just became best friends."

"Perhaps we did."


	3. Derek's First Adult Part

**_Chapter 3: Derek's First Adult Party_**

**_Present Day_**

Derek managed to escape the hospital at six o'clock without Richard trapping him into dinner or any other bribing behavior to get him to make the move to Seattle. Though it seemed more pleasant knowing Meredith was there, he still wasn't sure he wanted to give up his New York lifestyle.

He made his way across the street as instructed, and saw her from the middle of the wet parking lot, standing outside the entrance, bringing a small white stick to her mouth, inhaling and then blowing out a small puff of smoke. He rolled his eyes but couldn't help and smile.

"Those things will kill you; you know." He smirked as he stopped in front of her. She took another puff of smoke and then blew it back into his face with a flirty smile.

"Haven't seen anyone kill over mid-puff yet." She said, she tossed her cigarette to the ground and smashed it with the toe of her boot then giggled "Remember the first time you saw me smoke, how freaked out you were."

"Yeah." He chuckled dryly, "Well it was a little more concerning than tobacco."

She giggled and lifted herself onto her tip toes, he smiled and leaned into her as if it were an old habit. Their lips met. Hers were soft, warm, sweet and just as inviting as they always were. After the brief and too short kiss he swept his arm around her tiny waist and they entered the bar together as if they'd been greeting each other that way for the last ten years.

* * *

**_October 20, 1989_**

Meredith went skipping down the stairs in her house and as she reached the bottom step the door opened, she met the eyes of her mother and was suddenly grateful that she put her large grey turtleneck sweater on.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" she grumbled "Nowhere good I'm sure."

"Actually." She said suavely "Derek and I are going to the library to study and then to Foster Freeze for a shake afterwards."

"Derek?" she frowned, her voice had a pitch of concern "Derek who?"

"Derek Shepherd, of course."

"Shepherd?" her brow raised and a light of surprise hit her eyes "As in the son of Christopher and Carolyn Shepherd?"

"That's him." Meredith smiled sweetly "So can I go without grief?"

"Yes." She nodded "And it's about time you found yourself some valuable company Meredith, only took four years of high school."

Meredith rolled her eyes and heard a horn honk outside, she didn't take time saying goodbye to her mother before racing out the door towards the car with the roaring engine. She whipped the car door open and slid quickly into the seat before slamming it shut behind her.

"Go! Go! Go!" she giggled "before she changes her mind!"

"What's the alibi?" he chuckled as he pulled down the street as quickly but discreetly as he could "just so we're on the same page."

"We're going to the library to study, and then shakes at the Foster Freeze." She laughed.

"Well, a few of my buddies actually will be at the Foster Freeze tonight, we could go and make it half true." He smirked, then glanced over to see her glaring at him "What?"

"We are NOT spending Friday night at the damn milkshake shack." She muttered "You really need to get out more."

"Ok." He frowned defensively "Where exactly did you have in mind to go tonight."

"Party." She smiled.

"Oh." He raised his brow in delight "Where at? Will anyone I know be there?"

"Doubt it." Meredith giggled "It's a grown-up party, and it's down by the river." Derek frowned at her slightly offensive remark using the word 'grown-up' and turned and climbed into the back seat "I'm changing, don't peek."

He rolled his eyes and looked out the windshield "So how do you know about this party if no one else at high school does?"

"Because people at our high school are too busy shoving each other's noses up their ass and flashing around mommy and daddy's money to listen to the kind of people who throw kick ass parties." She said.

He glanced into the rearview mirror as if out of habit, making eye contact, but instead he saw as her shirt was lifted over her head and what a smooth, slender body she had. He sealed his mouth shut to keep from gasping out loud as his eyes hungrily took her smooth stomach and breasts, that had to have been shaped by the gods themselves, in to his memory. She turned to slip something else on and he noticed something on her shoulder blades and smirked as he turned his eyes back to the road ahead of him.

"Much better." She sighed as she climbed back into the front seat.

Her hair was now down and unruly as she liked it, and he was learning to as well, she wore skin tight dark wash jeans, a mid-drift black tank top that was cut down the front to the middle of her breasts. Lynard Skynard was painted across the front. He pressed his lips together as he drove along, trying to keep what he saw to himself but as she hummed to the rock music and waved her fingers out the open window he couldn't help the images from invading his mind and forethought.

"So when did you get a tattoo?" he asked.

She turned to stare at him and scoffed "You dirty bastard! I told you no peeking!"

"I'm sorry, but you were taking up my rear view mirror vision, I had to."

"And using the side mirrors didn't occur to you?"

"Not as nice a view in the side mirrors." He smirked. She scoffed again and slapped his shoulder "So, what's your tattoo?"

"Angel wings." She said "I figure it's the only way I'll ever get them."

"Well, falling the way you do, I'd say you're going the wrong direction."

"Fallen angel." She giggled "I like it Derek." He rolled his eyes and she reached down to her purse and pulled out a small square tin.

"What's that?" he asked curiously.

"Lip gloss." She smirked, then pulled it apart and retrieved a small white roll, pinching it between her fingers and holding it up "And this…this is fun."

Derek glanced over and did a double take, almost swerving off the road "Please tell me that, that is just a home rolled cigarette!"

"It's a home rolled cigarette." She giggled and placed it between her lips as she lit it, she inhaled and blew out the smoke slowly "A very, very relaxing cigarette."

"Are you insane!" he growled angrily "how the hell do you expect to get into medical school doing stupid shit like that!"

"Pull your panties out of your ass crack Derek and let your scrotum have some breathe time." She scoffed "We're in high school, and jesus fucking Christ we're on our way to a party. Relax, it's healthy every once in a while."

She giggled and inhaled largely before blowing the smoke over to him. He swerved a little as he tried to concentrate. It wasn't the smoke clouding the car that was distracting him, but those perfect breasts pressing against his shoulder, her lips only inches away from his neck and her sweet breath that had him intoxicated.

"Meredith please, just put it away until we get out of the car. If I get pulled over it's gone, the car is gone."

Meredith blew out another puff and sighed, she pressed her lips together and put the butt out on the bottom of her boot, then slipped it back into the metal tin.

"For the car." She murmured. She looked up and saw that they were nearing the end of a dirt road "Oh look, there it is!"

Derek nodded as he saw a group of cars, unfamiliar cars, none of them looked as if the owners had money, or owners parents anyway. He sighed with satisfaction as he found a spot to park, she jumped out of the car immediately and smiled, she leaned halfway into the window and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Leave the letterman in the car Derek." She instructed "No one here cares how much you've scored…" she winked and then giggled "At least not in football anyway."


	4. First Time

**_Chapter 4: First Time_**

**_Present Day_**

"So, what brings you to Seattle?" She smiled, feeling a slight buzz from her tequila. She leaned over onto the bar and ran her fingertips around the rim of the shot glass "It's rainy and wet in Seattle, you don't like rainy and wet."

"I don't like the rain." He smirked "I never said I didn't like it wet."

"You're avoiding." She hummed.

"Richard called me in." he said "Apparently there's a case he thinks I need to assist with, and for some reason I had no incline to think that the Dr. Grey he talked about would be you."

"Are you shitting me." She glared, suddenly pissed "Richard called YOU in on one of MY surgeries."

"Hey." He smirked "You could have a worse person to have to work with."

"I can't believe that after all this time Richard has room to doubt me."

"I don't think it's really a matter of doubt." Derek said, "I think Richard is trying to rope me out here, and since your surgery was interesting enough, he used it as bait."

"Asshole."

"Agreed." He said, then smiled and brushed his fingers against the back of her hand, they both felt tingles of excitement at the touch "Though I am glad I came now."

"Well." She smiled with a hint of seduction in her eyes "Can you honestly say that you've ever regretted running into me?"

He thought about it for a split second and grinned "I cannot." He said, then glanced over his shoulder for the dozenth time "Though I do feel as if I'm being a nuisance."

"Of course not." She scoffed "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Well, that boy at the end of the bar seems to be waiting for me to leave." He smirked "Should I get out of his way?"

"Hmm." She frowned and looked over his shoulder then sighed "No, stay there. I already had him last week and I will definitely not be going back for seconds."

"He's a little young isn't he?"

"Yes, but legal."

"Still playing your games I see." Derek chuckled.

"And you're not!" she giggled, he sobered down to a slight smile but it never reached his eyes "Derek?"

"I met someone."

"We meet people all the time Derek, it's what we agreed to do."

"I met her three years ago." He said "She's a doctor. And we're pretty serious."

"Oh." Meredith raised her brow then slowly smiled "Well congrats."

"Mer!" she heard hollered at the door, she turned from the conversation to see two pairs of people, none of which were together, but that was nothing a god awful amount of alcohol couldn't change. She groaned quietly but put on a smile as they charged at her.

"Friends of yours?" Derek asked.

"If you would call them that." Meredith giggled.

"Ha!" A woman with long dark hair laughed "Considering the many times we've picked your stranded hung-over ass up from a one-night stand's house…I'd say we deserve a friend title."

"I suppose I do owe you some gratitude of my presence." She laughed

"And looks like you've gotten started without us." The other woman smirked as she eyed Derek "Yummy, since you saw him first does that mean you have first dibs?"

"Funny." Meredith rolled her eyes "Guys this is Derek, he's an old friend of mine…best friend actually."

"Hey," the second woman frowned "I thought I was your best friend."

"You're my best friend that has a vagina."

"Oh." She nodded with a frown.

"Derek, this is Christina, Lexie, Alex and Jackson."

They all said hello and took a seat at the bar around Meredith and Derek.

"So how long have you guys been friends?" Alex asked.

"Since senior year of high school." Meredith smiled and stuck her tongue out at Derek. "That's when I graced him with my presence."

"Ha!" Derek laughed "You falling on me was hardly graceful my dear, I bet that scar is still on your knee."

"Hardly visible anymore!" she defended "And I didn't fall on you, apparently you were smart enough to stop at my backpack."

"So all these years, you guys have managed to just stay friends?" Lexie asked with surprise.

"Yes." They both said with a nod.

"Seriously." Christina rolled her eyes "I doubt that you two have NEVER slept together."

Meredith turned her head to look at Derek, he did the same. Their eyes twinkled with memories and she bit her lip to muffle a giggle.

* * *

**_May 4, 1990_**

Derek sighed as he lay in bed and tried to cram for his anthropology final that was later in the week. He knew that he needed sleep, especially considering that the last time he glanced at the clock it was after midnight. He sighed as he turned the page and reached the last chapter….another hour won't kill him. He yawned and wished for some kind of miracle to keep him awake and alert when he heard something stumble against his window. He frowned and looked up to see a skinny white leg sticking halfway in, he watched as a body and head full of unruly blonde hair followed.

"Will you ever learn to use a door?" he asked.

"Would you rather I use the door, and have five angry sleep deprived women up scolding you?"

"No." he shook his head "Actually this time I'm glad that you used the window." He sat up and smiled "So what brings you to my window at...twelve thirty midnight?"

"I brought something." She said and tossed a small brown paper sack at him. "Prom is coming up."

He nodded and frowned as he opened the bag and inspected the contents. He pulled the small box out of the bag and held up the condoms with confusion.

"Are you trying to tell me to be safe?" he asked.

"I want you to use them with me." She said.

"As in show you how to put them on a guy?" he raised his brow. She looked at him and gulped, his brow flattened out as he realized what she suggested "Meredith I…"

"Like I said, prom is coming up. And we're going with different dates." She said, "And you know what happens after prom."

"It doesn't have to happen." He sputtered, still seeming confused "And what does this have to do with tonight?"

"I'm a virgin." She said, he raised his brow, looking shocked "I know, it doesn't seem like it but I am. And I know that Shane is going to want to…and I don't want to be the girl that gets the Baptist missionary reputation because I refuse him."

"So don't refuse him."

"Shane doesn't deserve my virginity." She gulped "I want to lose it with someone special, well…someone that I trust, someone I can be intimate with and not have to worry about what he thinks of me."

"Meredith." He shook his head "If you're that hesitant to lose it, just wait…wait for the right person."

"I don't want to wait." She said "Why aren't you getting that point?" she scoffed "Holy shit, any guy in our graduating class would jump on this chance and here you are hesitant…what the hell is the hold up!" she paced back and forth in his room and then stopped and looked at him with a dropped jaw and eyes wide "You're a virgin too!"  
"I…." he stuttered and then sighed "Yes."

"Seriously." She frowned "You have the whole cheerleading squad practically squatting over you, what's the problem?"

"I don't know." He shrugged "Just haven't really felt it was the right time to do that yet."

Meredith pressed her lips together and gave him a moment in thought "What about now?"

"Meredith you're my best friend. I can't hurt you."

"Other than the hymen breaking thing, you won't hurt me." She said "The only reason people get hurt is when they have preconceived expectations beforehand that don't happen. I have none of those, you're my best friend whom I love and adore, and want to give my virginity to. That's it. If you don't call me the next day, so what, I'll see you at school, whatever. I don't want to be your girlfriend; I want to be much more important than that."

"And a girlfriend isn't important?" he asked. She sighed and walked over and sat on the edge of the bed

"Derek this friendship between us is something else." She said, "I know you can't deny that." He shook his head "Maybe we can just make it a place to go, a place for just us, that no matter what we'll always have each other in a way that only we can understand. Somewhere only we know."

Derek looked into her bright green eyes and knew that what she said made sense. And it was something he wanted too. He didn't want her as a girlfriend, he didn't want a throw away girl. He didn't want to do anything to cause a grudge. To be honest since the day he met Meredith he felt magic, like some hidden force inside of them was pulling them together. They were complete opposites but the same, and he didn't want to do anything to lose her, but he wanted that place, he wanted to be in it with only her.

"So how does this work, do we just…" he started to say but was cut off by the powerful crushing of her lips against his.

It was a shock at first, they'd never even suggested being intimate with each other before and then all the sudden here they were, doing it. The kiss softened up and soon their lips were meshing comfortably with each other. She gasped silently to herself as her body started to react to his and he slid his tongue gently into her open mouth. She moaned as her tongue met his for the first time, his fingers wove into her long wavy locks and cradled her head softly in his hands.

She pulled away from him only for the time it took her to slip her shirt off over her head. His eyes investigated her torso, one that he once hungered for, it was perfect. Her breasts were now available for him to touch and hold, they felt better than he had imagined as he took one for himself to massage. He leaned in and took the nipple into his mouth; she gasped and threw her head back in response. Then ran her slender hand up his thigh and into the leg of his shorts and began the mass between his legs that was already growing in size.

He groaned and moved his attention to her other breast. They touched each other as if they'd done it a hundred times before, but also as if they were discovering new territory. So intimate and deep as if they were searching and getting closer and closer to their inner souls with each graze of a fingertip. Derek took his shirt off and tossed it across the room and gently wrapped his arms around her and leaned her back against his bed. He hovered over her body and nipped and caressed his lips and tongue all over her exposed skin that was so creamy and soft under his touch.

She gasped and silently moaned, especially when he moved down her stomach, swirling his tongue inside her navel and then kissed her lower abdomen. He stopped and looked at her for assurance, she nodded and stared intensely before he unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off of her. The lower half of her body was just as glorious as her upper half and he felt his body ache in response. He slung one of her legs over his shoulder and kissed tenderly a trail down her inner thigh. Then pressed his thumbs to her inner pubic bone and massaged her outer folds, she sighed with delight and closed her eyes to focus on the feel of him.

He slowly slid his index finger inside of her, feeling her tight muscles. Her warm wet juices ran out of her and dripped onto him. He found himself moaning just imagining the next step. She moaned quietly and opened her legs, inviting more of him in, he stuck another finger inside of her and rocked them back and forth, stretching and opening her up. He saw as she arched her upper body off the bed and moaned into a pillow to muffle the sound. He quickened his pace a little, going with the flow that pleased her and saw her about to lose it and stopped.

She looked up at him half spent and reached up, she yanked his shorts off and looked in surprise and delight at his long, thick erection staring back at her. She smirked, not having ever imagined what Derek's penis looked like, but she definitely didn't feel disappointed. He grabbed the box of condoms and quickly ripped one open, he put it on like a pro. But after all the banana's they made him apply them to in health class he was one. Their eyes connected, both full of uncertainty, hesitancy, not wanting to back down, and lust, pure lust. He laid on top of her, legs spread around his hips, their lips met in a long deep kiss.

"This is going to hurt." He whispered.

"I know." She gulped "But I know you'll never hurt me more than you have to."

He looked into her eyes deeply, and understood then, exactly why she chose him. And she was right, there was no way on earth that he would ever hurt her. But pain was inevitable, and he would never hurt her more than was necessary. He slowly pressed the tip of his member at her opening, letting it rest there for a moment to let her ready herself. Then proceeded to slowly slide it into her tight wet cavity. She gasped and grunted as pain hit her, she bit her lip and tried not to cry. Tears burned her eyes and she squeezed them tight. After he buried himself completely, he placed a hand on her cheek and turned her face to look at him.

He leaned in and placed soft delicate kisses on her cheek until she opened her eyes. She stared up at him and he saw that she'd relaxed. They still stared into each other as he started moving and putting more pressure on her hips and taking away. Her muscles relaxed a little, but she was still tightly hugging him and he found it difficult to keep his calm and not lose it so quickly. Her moaning returned and he could tell that she was finally enjoying it, his lips grabbed onto hers and his tongue swam intimately in her mouth with hers. He felt her starting to shake underneath of him and he couldn't keep holding on any longer. With one last thrust he groaned into his own orgasm.


	5. Prom Night

**_Chapter 5: Prom Night_**

_**May 20, 1990**_

Derek didn't know what seemed to be bothering him more. The fact that his date was gnawing his ear off with her blabber about fashion and state college or that he hadn't seen Meredith much since the night they gave themselves to each other. He scanned the room one more time, still nothing. She was going to the prom and had been mildly dating Shane Roberts, one of his football fellows. He was a decent guy, but his view seemed to change after he started showing interest in Meredith. It was his fault however; he'd made the mistake of introducing them.

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as he hunched over the table he was seated at. The tux itched and the other cheerleaders had joined his date in a menial conversation. Why did he care what Meredith did anyway? They decided to keep it at just that night, and nothing would change with them, their friendship would forever be rock solid and not be ruined by an intimate commitment.

"Derek," he heard Addison whine "why are you ignoring me?"

"Hmm…what?" he asked and picked his head up to look at her.

"You're ignoring me, why?"

"I just wasn't interested in the conversation about leather hand bags Addison. I wasn't meaning to ignore you but it bored me to sleep you see."

"You are so mean!" she scoffed "You weren't this way until you started hanging out with that trash!"

"I certainly hope you're not referring to Meredith." He muttered "For starters, this is Chilton! Not even the groundskeepers here are hired trash, and secondly both of her parents are doctors, unlike your pediatrician father and his housewife soap opera addict."

"Don't you dare!" she gasped, "If I'm so wrong, tell me why she insists on dressing like trash, just look at her!"

Derek's body came alert and he whipped his head around, with relief he saw her, dancing with some guy that played basketball. He wondered where Shane was, but didn't care. She was there, within reach, and all he had to do was stand up. And no, she wasn't in a trashy dress at all. Simple, red, with a slit up the leg. It wasn't a princess Diana mockup like the rest of the cheer squad insisted on wearing.

"She looks lovely." He smiled and stood up "Well I better go say hello, it would be rude not to."

"Derek, you are my date and I don't want you to go over there."

"She's my friend Addison, and I'm saying hello."

"If you leave this table." She glared "You are so not getting laid tonight."

"You can't say that." He chuckled "You don't know where I'm getting it."

"Derek Shepherd!" she gasped, "You know what, I'll find a ride home with someone else, this date is over!"

"Thank god." He muttered and turned around. He walked through the crowd of other dancers and finally reached Meredith, he tapped the basketball player on the shoulder, and they stopped. Her eyes seemed to light up when she saw him "May I cut in."

"No." the basketball player muttered.

"Yes." Meredith scoffed and pushed him aside to take Derek into her arms "Thanks for the dance Gerald but your entertainment purposes have expired, please leave."  
He scoffed with a deep frown before turning back into the crowd to find another dancing partner. Derek smiled down at his best friend and swayed them back and forth to the slow song.

"I see you finally made it." He said "But where's Shane? I thought you two were going to…"

"Oh." She gasped "No, we already did that..."

"How was it?"

"Derek you know I'm not a whore, you know I've only slept with two people in my sexual lifetime." She said, "You know I'm not a slut." He nodded as he tried to figure out where this was going "Well…I couldn't feel him."

"Huh?" he frowned. She rolled her eyes.

"I felt nothing." She said, he still looked confused "Cocktail sausages have bragging rights when measured up to him."

"Oh." Derek frowned, then it clicked "Oh!"

"Seriously." She said "It seemed small, and I was like ok well it'll grow. So I kept waiting for it to get erect but…then I realized that it already was."

Derek burst into a fit of laughter as he tried not to think about it "Wow, I guess those steroids he takes have a bad side effect."

"I think this is past steroids!" she giggled "I mean really, it's a nub!"

Derek laughed along with her as they finished the song, as their laughter died they found each other staring and their movement stopped.

"Do you want to get out of here?" she asked.

"But this is prom."

"I don't care." She said, "I want to go to our place."

Derek's thoughts darkened a little but he suddenly did too. Not just because sex sounded good but being alone with Meredith sounded better. After spending most the evening with a nagging bitch he needed some of Meredith's carefree energy. She pulled away from him and smirked.

"Well I'll be in the car getting naked, you can act as you wish."

Derek watched her leave, but wasn't more than a few steps behind her.

* * *

"Oh god!" she screamed out "Oh Derek!"

She felt her body wash over with warmth as it shook, he pushed himself deeper and deeper inside of her as she straddled his hips and rode him up and down. Her muscles hugging his erection and her hot orgasmic fluid now rushing around him. She moaned loudly again as she rocked harder against him in the backseat of his car in the middle of nowhere, and kept going until he cried out and finished.

"Gawd!" she giggled and fell over into the seat next to him panting "I could do that all night long."

"Well we're going to need more supplies." He panted "That was the last condom."

"Knew I should have gotten the big pack."

"You did." A smirk brushed his lips.

"I did?" she frowned, then looked over at the big orgasmic grin on his lips "Shit, we really went at it like rabbits didn't we?"

"And yet we still have the energy for more."

"Energizer bunnies." She giggled "Like the battery."

"Funny."

"You know what's almost better than an orgasm." She said, "Sitting on the seats of this car naked." He looked over at her and arched a brow "Hey…I said almost."

"Oh yeah?" he said and grabbed her, pulling him back onto his lap and kissed her "Maybe we need more supplies soon so you'll have more experience to raise that orgasm on the list."

"Mmmm." She moaned into his deep drudging kiss "Tempting, but how about we talk for a while."

"About what?"

"Stuff." She shrugged "Like what we're going to do in a few weeks when we leave for college after graduation."

"Oh." He gulped; he'd purposely wanted to avoid this subject "Well what do you want to do."

"I don't want anything to change." She said, "I still want us to be us, I want to be your best friend."

"We'll still be us." He said and smiled "And we'll always have our place inside of each other. No matter where we go in the world, whenever we meet again, we'll go to that place."

"Sounds good." She smiled and laid her head against his shoulder and kissed his neck "How far a drive is Yale to Dartmouth?"

"A half a day at least." He said.

"And you'll make it."

"Every chance I get."


	6. Girlfriend

**_Chapter 6: Girlfriend_**

_**March 7, 1992**_

Meredith groaned as she felt a pounding knock inside her head stir her from a drunken sleep. She peeked her eye lids open and saw light, she hissed to herself and instantly sealed them shut again. Instead of feeling the knock this time, she heard it, and it came from the front door. She fluttered her eyes open and forced them to focus. Then heard a moan come from the other side of the bed and looked over to see a half-naked man and groaned as she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she muttered as she worked her way through the small dorm room. She moaned inwardly as she rubbed her stinging eyes and opened the door. She was met by a pair of warm blue eyes and a smile she'd always love "Derek!"

She squealed as she leaped forward and threw her arms around him, he embraced her tightly and then followed her into her dorm. He looked around the place, it was a little messy, but no surprise being a Saturday morning and knowing how much his best friend loved to party. He frowned as he picked up an empty tequila bottle up off the bookcase.

"Long night?" he asked.

"Ugh." She muttered and clutched the side of her head "Don't remind me."

"You know you have to be 21 to purchase this stuff, yet somehow it's always here."

"It's called persuading older classmates to buy it for you in exchange of sexual favors." She said, then her eyes widened "Which reminds me…"

"Reminds you of what?"

"I still need to kick him out." She said pointing to her bedroom.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"I don't know." She said, trying to remember the guy's name but came up blank.

"Please tell me you used a condom." He said with concerned annoyance "If you don't know his name you definitely don't know where his dick has been."

"I may be promiscuous Derek, but I'm not stupid." She rolled her eyes "Stay here a sec." she then turned around and went back to her bedroom, walked to the side of the bed with a foreign body, it rolled over and she saw why his name never hit her, it wasn't worth remembering, she shook the bed with her foot "Hey! Hey you. get up!"

"Hmm…wha?" he mumbled as his eyes opened and smiled "Oh hey…"

"You need to leave." She said, "like two minutes ago."

"What?" he frowned "You don't want to have breakfast or anything?"

"Trust me." She said through her teeth "Last night was all the time I really needed from you. Now go."

He scoffed a little, but the death look she shot him told him he better get up quickly. She looked away as he stood up and pulled his pants on, then quickly donned his shirt. He grabbed his shoes and walked out of the bedroom door and saw Derek standing in the middle of the living room, Derek smirked at him.

"Dude, that bitch is crazy." He said, "Don't waste your time."

"Trust me." Derek chuckled "I know exactly what I'm into."

The kid shook his head and didn't bother taking more time to put his shoes on before walking out the front door. Derek looked up as Meredith walked into the living room, he smiled warmly at her.

"Was he any good?"

"I don't remember." She said, "But seeing him in daylight I think it's better that I didn't."

"Hmm." He smirked "Perhaps not."

"I need to go take a shower." She said "You can do whatever…but you know that."

"Yes, I do."

His eyes followed her as she walked into the room, leaving the door wide open as she dropped her robe and then walked into the bathroom. He looked around the apartment as he walked towards her room, noticing nothing really of interest, it just looked like a room that a college student lived in. He wandered around her room and noticed a few picture frames on the dresser. He smiled as each of those pictures included him. The most recent one was them at graduation, he remembered instantly the night of. And their hotter than prom sex, it was goodbye sex, and it was making him horny just remembering it.

He heard the water running in the bathroom and smirked as an idea hit him…He could do 'whatever' and he knew that. He slipped his shoes off and left a trail of clothing as he made his way to the bathroom. He walked in and shut the door, looking through the clouded glass doors at her beautiful flawless body as she rinsed her hair.

"Derek?" she asked "Is that you."

"Yes," he said "Who else would it be?"

"You don't have to come into the bathroom to visit." She giggled "I'll only be a minute."

"I know." He smirked "But I suddenly feel….dirty." he heard a thud, the sound a bar of soap makes when it hits the floor of a tub. The shower door opened for him and he smiled as he stepped in.

"Then I guess we better wash you off." She said.

Their lips crushed together in a heated hunger of lips and tongues colliding. His fingers sunk into her wet hair and yanked it back gently, she made a gasping noise as she closed her eyes and moaned when he began devouring her neck, his hands groping and massaging her wet naked breasts. Her hand rubbed over his chest and down his torso, following the trail of hair until she reached his long hard erection, she squeezed and pumped it tightly, gaining a roaring groan from him.

He grabbed her around the waist and spun her around, pinning her against the shower wall. He then reached between her legs and plunged his fingers deeply inside of her, she whimpered a moan and tried to grasp a rhythmic breath as she looked at him with a gloss in her eyes. He licked his fingers, savoring the taste of her and then kissed her intensely, letting her taste herself as well. He suddenly pulled away from her and hissed.

"Fuck." He muttered.

"What?" she panted.

"I forgot to grab a condom."

"It's fine, I'm on the pill."

"What?" he frowned.

"I wanted some extra protection. I still use condoms religiously to protect from any cell of a disease, 97% protection from pregnancy isn't good enough for me. So I got on the pill last year." She said, a softness graced her eyes as she smiled and pulled him back towards her and stroked his sensitive erection "Now come on with it….I know where your dick's been."

With a groan he lifted her legs around his hips and pushed himself deeply inside of her. She cried out to him as he pumped harder and harder into her hips. She used the shower walls as a brace and moved her hips along with his, intensifying his movements and bending in ways that he didn't even know was humanly possible. She screamed as her muscles hugged him tightly and warm fluid burst around him, she bent backward, in effect causing her orgasm to send him spinning into his own and he cried out as his hot cum shot into her, their bodies clinging and shaking together.

* * *

_**Present Day**_

"So really." Lexie seemed to ask, chewing her lip with lust. "You guys just met up for sex and left it like that?"

"For ten years, that's all you did?" Christina said with a snicker to her voice. Both women seemed rather intrigued, the boys looked annoyed.

"Though Derek and I's relationship seems platonic, we are very much friends."

"The best of friends." He grinned and rubbed his palm in a circle over her lower back.

"Watch it McDreamy." Christina muttered "She's MY best friend."

"Are you going to fight me over her?" Derek smirked, sounding amused.

"I'll win." Christina smirked pompously "I always win."

"Well unless you can give her orgasms as good as I do." Derek said, "I think I win."  
Christina thought about a retort for a second then sighed "Ok…you win."

"So your girlfriends never minded you having sex with another woman?" Jackson asked.

"Girlfriends?" Meredith giggled as she looked at Derek and wrinkled up her nose "You mean those dates that always expected a marriage proposal the next morning?"

"Now those I didn't mind letting down," Derek laughed "Those rich bitches deserved it."

"As I had no complaints." She smirked "That is until now…"

"What do you mean?" Alex scoffed "Just because you haven't jumped in the sack yet  
in the whole three hours you've been with him?"

"Not what I meant." She said, "I mean about the part where he has a girlfriend now."

"Oh, that part." Derek mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah." Meredith pretended to glare but a smile still on her lips "That part."

"Well we should go." Alex and Jackson mumbled and stood up, "Girls?"

Christina and Lexie sighed as they too stood up. Meredith smiled graciously at them and watched as they made their way to the door. She then turned back to Derek with a serious, but kind look on her face, she tilted her head as they stared deeply into each other's eyes for a long few minutes of time.

"So…this girlfriend of yours."


	7. God

**_Chapter 7: God_**

_**July 2, 1995**_

"Mmmm god." She moaned as his lips sucked down the base of her neck and across her collar bone.

"My name is actually Derek," he mumbled into her skin "but I'll answer to god too."

"Ohhhhh." She moaned, he fished his head into her short brown hair and tugged her head back "Yes, yes I'll call you whatever you want baby."

"God will do." He mumbled.

"Mmmmm yes god!"

As their hips ground together on his couch in the dark apartment, they were interrupted by the loud bang of the front door opening and the light flicking on. Derek looked up and scowled in surprise of who their intruder was.

"Hi…I need you" she said.

"Hi." He scoffed "I'm a little busy."

"I'm in town."

"Obviously."

"And I don't want to be alone…I promise you'll get laid."

"You're being a little rude." He scowled.

"And this is nothing new." She said as she placed her hands on her hips and glanced at the date he had still pinned underneath him "So, would you rather be fucking someone short and chubby at the end of the evening or me?"

Derek gulped as he looked at her standing there in a skimpy black cocktail dress, her hair down and wavy just as he loved it, the choice between the two wasn't even a question.

"Excuse me!" the woman scoffed "Who is this? Who are you!"

"I am the woman that makes his toes curl when he cums." Meredith smirked "I'm the woman who can cause multiple erupting orgasms from him…." She smirked and wrinkled her nose up "simultaneously."

She looked at Derek wide eyed and appalled, he sighed and stood up with a hint of remorse in his eyes.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

The woman got up and shrieked as she grabbed her purse and marched out the door, Meredith giggled a smile as she waved at her.

"Bye." She said as she shut the door.

"That was mean." Derek said "You could have called first, I could have thrown her out with a little dignity at least."

"Seriously Derek," she scoffed "I don't know why you had her in your apartment in the first place, I highly doubt you could have fit between her thighs. Talk about slapping and riding the waves in."

"She was nice." He said, "She was nice, and she liked me." Meredith crossed her arms looking unconvinced "And she thought I was god's gift to women."

"There it is." She smirked "Let me guess, you let her call you god."

"Well, I may or may not have encouraged it a little."

"Ha!" she laughed "Well it's a good thing it didn't go any further, I believe I saved her from some disappointment."

"Ouch!" he scoffed "You know, you're no golden prize either! Flexibility can only go so far, not everyone needs to see how far your legs can go over your head."

"If it was such a god damn problem why didn't you say anything?!"

"Because." He growled "Maybe I don't like being interrupted in the middle of sex, especially when I go so long without it!"

"Well maybe you wouldn't go so fucking long without a good fuck if you hopped on a fucking plane every once in a while!"

"If you would come out here a little more…" he muttered

"News flash genius!" she shouted and flailed her arms in the air "I AM here!"

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be!"

"Fine! Wasted my time and money but no sense in being somewhere I'm not wanted!"

She hissed and turned to open the door when she felt someone grab her elbow and fling her around, his body crushed her against the door and she gasped as she stared into his dark, angry, horny eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but his mouth cut her off as it smothered her own lips, his tongue shoved into her mouth and started pulling and sucking on hers.

She moaned and groaned as she pushed him back, so hard that he fell against the floor, then dropped herself on top of him and leaned over him with fierce eyes "Oh no you don't." she muttered "I'll show you just who god's gift to earth is."

He reached up and ripped her dress over her head, leaving her in a matching black lace bra and thong. He managed to pull hard enough and rip the panties from her ass and sent them flying across the apartment.

"Asshole!" she muttered into his lips and clamped her teeth down into his bottom one "Those were my favorite pair."

"Yeah." He growled as he rolled her over onto the floor and pressed himself on top of her "Now they're mine, bitch."

"Ugh!" she shrieked and ripped his shirt open, sending buttons going everywhere "Fuck you!" She ripped his belt loose and the button of his slacks hit one of the windows. She leaned up and sunk her teeth into his collar bone, he cried out, a sound mixed with both pain and pleasure. She pushed hard against him and tossed him over onto his back on the floor and looked down at him with an angry smirk "Now who's the bitch?"

"You still are." He muttered as he reached up and yanked her bra off of her body and sent it flying. She gasped and then glared at her other favorite undergarment went missing. He reached up and grabbed her breasts, groping and massaging them in his hands, she gasped and then yanked his hands off of her and slapped them "Bad boy!" she hissed then grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head "You will not touch me unless I tell you it is ok!"

"Oh I'll touch you whenever I want, and however I want!" he muttered and then leaned up and took one of her nipples into his mouth, she gasped and panted as her eyes rolled back into her head. He pulled away and looked up at her with a triumphant grin on his face "Not so bad is it?"

Her face turned red with irritation and she moved her legs and feet up, using her toes and heels to slide his pants down his legs, she looked at him with dark impressed eyes. "Going commando today? You naughty boy."

"Oh you have no idea how naughty I've been."

"Really." She smirked "I guess you need to be punished then."

"Punish me." He growled.

She smirked and then moved down his body, using her tongue to trail her movements down the thin line of hair from his chest to his pelvic bone. She took his long hard erection in her hand and with the tip of her tongue she teased him, licking quick soft strokes. He groaned and reached down, placing his hand on the back of her head. She slapped it away.

"No." she said "You've been a naughty boy, you don't get what you want."

"Meredith!" he groaned "Please."

"Say it." she said as she licked the tip of his cock again. He groaned.

"God." He moaned and panted "please!"

"That's more like it." She smirked "God can help you."

His eyes darkened and met hers for a second before she took his erection into her mouth, he gasped and moaned loudly as she used her tongue, cheeks and lips to thoroughly massage him until she felt his dick quiver in her mouth. She pulled back and stood on her knees over him, looking down at his glossy eyes and dark expression.

"You're not just going to lay there are you?" she mumbled "God doesn't like that."

"Really?" he murmured in a deep voice as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, massaging her breasts firmly. "What does God like."

"Oh." She whimpered as one of his hands trailed down her stomach and flicked her swollen throbbing clit with his fingers "God likes that, God wants you to fuck her like you've never fucked anyone else."

"I do believe that's doable." He whispered in her ear as he went to suck on the lobe.

She moaned as he reached the soft sensitive spot behind her ear, where her neck and head met, a spot that only he has been able to find, the one that drove her crazy every time. He plunged his fingers inside of her and felt her juices dripping down her thigh, he couldn't stand it much longer. He pushed her down, laying her out across the coffee table and entered her swiftly from behind. They both cried out with pleasure shaking them from the inside out. He pulled out and thrust back into her deeply, until he hit ends bottom, she cried out with rejoice as he did it over and over again.

"Oh Derek!" she screamed as she felt herself tip toe to the edge of her peak.

"Your turn!" he groaned "You say it."

"Pound me you asshole!" she muttered.

"Then say it!" he moaned as he went in and out softly.

"God, just fuck me already!"

"There we go." He grinned.

He sunk his fingers into her hips as he pumped harder and harder into her, feeling her shake around him and explode her own ecstasy juices all around him, causing him to erupt his own, spilling them deeply inside of her with cries of pleasure and praise to each other.

* * *

**_Present Day_**

"Did we ever decide who won that argument?" Derek laughed.

"I don't think so." She giggled "We were too busy… arguing."

"I always liked the way we argued." He smirked "I'll miss that."

Meredith's smile sobered and faded into another fake one, she looked down at his hand over hers on the bar and then slowly lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Why do you have to miss anything?" she asked softly "What happened to us always being us?"

"It would hurt her." He mumbled. Meredith gulped and her eyes fell to the bar, she felt him squeeze her hand and then pulled away "I should get to my hotel."

"No." she shook her head "No hotel, you're staying with me."

"Meredith…"

"No, you're not going to tell me goodbye. Not tonight. You're staying with me and sleeping in my bed." She said, "You know I don't take no for an answer."

"No." he smiled "No you don't."


	8. Death of Me

**_Chapter 8: Death of Me_**

"So, this is your place huh?" He said as he followed her into the Seattle condo.

"Yep." She said dropping her stuff on the table "Home sweet home."

"It's…nice." He said noticing it was bare and lifeless "Looks like you're hardly here."

"I wouldn't be here tonight either." She giggled "But you changed that…I need a comfortable bed and those god awful on call rooms don't exactly scream good night's sleep."

"So this is a one bedroom then?"

Meredith shot him a glare "Yes, one bedroom, one bed, and again…you're sleeping in it." Derek rolled his eyes but followed her back to her bedroom where she flipped a lamp on and started to strip her clothing off, she noticed him turn away "Derek stop being a boy scout, you've seen me naked more times than my own parents had."

Derek sighed with defeat and turned to look just as she slipped her shirt off, leaving her perfect body in a red satin bra and panty set. He gulped as he tried not to look too lustful towards her, the smirk on her face told him he couldn't hide anything from her.

"Why the nobility now?" she asked as she laid out on the bed and propped herself up on her elbow "Why are you trying to be such a good guy now?"

"What do you mean?" he asked

"You said you've been seeing this girl for three years?"

"A little over."

"Well." Meredith raised her brow "we ran into each other in San Francisco a year and a half ago."

"Oh." He gulped

"And I would be happy to refresh your memory of that trip." She grinned "You certainly didn't do anything noble that the girlfriend would have liked."

"Maybe it's more serious now."

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Well then you're still a free man."

"In a way." He sighed "Meredith why are you doing this?"

She rolled over onto her stomach and looked seductively at him "Why are you fighting it?"

"Because I don't want to mess this one up."

"Remember when we went to Fiji?" she said "After our first year of residency, we took a trip to Fiji to celebrate our survival."

"And to get your mind off of giving up Bella." He pointed out, she flinched again "Sorry."

"Remember what you told me out on the patio after we had three hours of hot tub sex." She smirked as his eyes turned a few shades darker "Remember when I teased you and said that next year you might luck out and have to bring someone else because my husband could accompany the next trip."

"You were drunk." Derek scoffed into a chuckle "And I knew you'd never get married."

"You told me that he would have to wait for me to get back, because you were here first." She said, he pondered the thought and looked up at her "I was here first Derek."

"But you don't want to be number one babe." He said softly, with a sadness in his eyes "You don't want to be MY number one."

"I always have been and always will be your number one Derek."

"But you won't marry me." He said, her eyes widened, and she gulped.

"Is that why you're so adamant about being a goody two shoes with this one?" she asked, "Because you think I won't marry you."

"Well, you won't. I've asked you before."

"Derek look at marriage these days!" she scoffed "Over half of them end in divorce, look at my parents, they hated each other. They were only together long enough to conceive me then paid me the decency of saving divorce until I was out of the house to get out of who paying whom child support. All I've seen is that marriage sucks, marriage ruins things. And this is the ONE thing that I cannot stand to ruin."

"I can't either." He choked at the thought of it "I love you Meredith, I'll never lose you."

"Then come to bed, be my baby tonight." She said and patted the spot next to her, he let out a soft sigh and stared hesitantly still "I promise I'll be good."

"You can never be good." He smirked as he started to unbutton his shirt "It's against your nature."

"True." She smirked "But I won't make you do anything Derek, however if you initiate something, I will not stop you."

"Alright." He smiled "I guess I'll have to behave myself then."

"Fair enough."

She laid back onto the bed and waited for him to get undressed. He stripped down to his boxers and then climbed onto the bed next to her. She turned the lamp off and they laid there staring at the ceiling, laying side by side. Their hands cradled against each other; fingers intertwined like it was a habit. Silence took over the pair, but both were still very wide awake. She let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes.

"So, you're behaving yourself still?" she asked.

"Yes." He tried not to smirk "Do you have such little self-control?"

"Mostly." She said, "But I'm also still drunk and you know how much tequila makes me horny."

"Yeah." He said in a rough voice.

"So." She said "I guess since you're being a boy scout, I'll have to do this on my own."

"Huh?" he mumbled.

Meredith pulled her bra and panties off to where she was stark naked, Derek made the mistake of glancing over and seeing her glorious fully naked body in the moonlight and groaned inwardly. She rolled over him to reach for something in the nightstand, he felt her bare breasts and nipples pressing against his chest and he about lost it.

"Meredith, you're killing me here!" he said through his teeth.

"Take a chill pill." She smirked and felt something hard growing underneath her "Or maybe a chilled shower would be better appropriate." She opened the drawer and pulled something out then laid back "Just grabbing bob."

"Bob?" he asked.

"Battery operated boy." She smirked as she held it out in front of her and turned the vibrator on "Bob."

"You're not seriously going to use that right now…" he gulped deeply "In front of me."

"Does that bother you?" she smirked as she rubbed the vibrating toy down her slender stomach "Does it make you want to change your mind?"

"No." he mumbled and turned away from her to squeeze his eyes close.

"Derek," she moaned as she put the vibrator between her thighs "There's lube in the drawer, you're welcome to join my, self-satisfaction party." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye to see her moan and arch off the bed as she tickled her clit with the toy "Ohhhh yes!"

"Meredith I..um…I don't do that."

"Why the fuck not?" she frowned and moaned again "If you can't have sex with yourself how do you expect anyone else to?" then she gasped and parted her legs spread eagle, he saw as she started rubbing the vibrating toy up and down her wet folds and moaned loudly "Oh Derek, oh yes, yes, yes!"

"Damnit woman, you'll be the death of me!"


	9. Death of Him

**_Chapter 9: Death of Him_**

"So?" Christina asked Meredith as they walked down the hallway at work the next day "How was the sex?"

"Assuming we had any."

"Oh please," Christina rolled her eyes "According to the stories you were telling last night, you haven't been able to keep your hands off each other in a ten mile radius for the last ten years." She shook her head "And you've got that after sex glow."

"After sex glow?" Meredith giggled "I'm happy to see Derek, it's been a while. And I gave myself an orgasm last night if you're really that curious."

"You used bob?" she raised a brow "In front of Derek?"

"Yep."

"How long did that last?" she smirked "I'm guessing seconds?"

"He grabbed the lube two minutes in." She giggled "He couldn't stop the erection but he did his best to not have me."

"You are so evil, you know that right?"

"So evil, that Satan trembles when her feet hit the floor in the morning." They heard behind them and stopped to turn and see Derek walk up with a sigh "Can we talk."

"Absolutely, we were just talking about you, as I'm sure you know. Join us?"

"Actually this has to do with the surgery." He said, "I just need you."

"In the middle of the day?" she smirked "There's an on-call room on two that's hardly occupied."

"I need to talk to you about the surgery." He clarified and tilted his head "Please."

"Very well." She sighed "I will talk to you alone about MY surgery, Dr. Yang I'll see you later."

"Later whore." Christina said.

Meredith sighed as she walked down the hallway, Derek in tow; she looked over to see visible frustration still in his eyes. He may have been able to release a little tension, but it was nowhere near what he really wanted.

"Stop looking at me like that." She said.

"Like what?" he scoffed

"Like you've just been pussy whipped, I've not changed anything. You could be fully discharged and orgasmically high this morning, but you aren't…because of you." She sighed then snickered a little "Is that what it is? She has you pussy whipped?"

"She doesn't have me pussy whipped." He mumbled "I just don't want to do anything to lose her yet."

"Then try not to look like you're in such pain being around me, for god sakes we have to work together."

"I'm not in pain." He scowled "I'm fine."

"Say it like you really mean it then." She rolled her eyes "You've had an erection since the moment you heard my voice in the OR yesterday, and it's been growing ever since. You can't walk by me without getting a hard on. I'm no fool."

"You are not my walking erection!" he said a little too loudly, she stopped and turned as he was flushing, she noticed a few eyes and heads turned his way and she smirked. "Meredith this isn't case related. And you think far too much of yourself."

"Oh like you don't appreciate being called god?" she arched a brow and smirked.

"I…well." He mumbled. "We're getting off track."

"I completely agree." She said with a hint of a double meaning.

"When can we get together and talk about the case?"

"I have time this afternoon." She said with a sigh and looked at her watch "I have a craniotomy at ten o'clock." She looked up at him and narrowed her eyes a little "That is unless you're on a roll with stealing my surgeries to which I must warn you, I love you but that's one thing I don't tolerate."

"I'm far too busy at the moment to meddle in your measly boring craniotomy."

"Hey, it might not be slicing a man's brain in half, but I get to dig inside a brain." She said, "it's fun getting into people's heads."

"You seem to be an expert at it."

"It's not my fault I'm better than everyone else." She smirked. "At most if not everything."

Derek gulped and felt the inability to argue with that "Have a good morning, Dr. Grey."

"Stop being so formal Derek, really." She smirked as she sauntered down the stairs then stopped to flutter her lashes at him "it turns me on."

Derek flustered a little as she walked away with a hint of a giggle. He sighed and wrung his hands together before shoving them in his pocket with a heavy sigh, how the hell he was going to make it through the week scot free he had no idea, it seemed impossible for sure, she was and would always be the death of him.


	10. Derek's Surprise

**_Chapter 10: Derek's Surprise _**

Derek checked his watch as he boarded the elevator. It was almost one o'clock and Meredith should be out of surgery by now. He pressed for the third floor, not sure where to meet her he figured her office would be a good start. The doors closed and a couple of younger residents in the back started some kind of teenage pep talk.

"Dude, did you hear what Dr. Grey's surgery was?"

"Yeah, I heard she was getting a corpus callum." The other said.

"I would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to get into that surgery."

"Like you wouldn't enjoy it." The other snickered "She's hot, I would be happy just to fuck her, screw the surgery…have you seen her ass? You could bounce a quarter off of it."

"You could bounce a whole god damn piggy bank off of it."

"Her ass is divine." He said "And she's like a fine wine, only gets better with age."

"M-m-m…I wonder if she's into the whole cougar thing."

Derek felt a little annoyed by the conversation, that is until the doors opened on the second floor. Then he suddenly found himself feeling rather amused when a tall skinny blonde smiled at him and stepped on, standing side by side. The elevator fell silent.

"Hello Dr. Grey." Derek smirked.

"Dr. Shepherd." She nodded "You have naughty in your eyes."

"Maybe." He smirked… then slowly reached over, placing his hand behind her and cupping her ass cheek, he gave it a soft squeeze. "Absolutely."

"Dr. Shepherd!" she gasped.

"Sorry." He said "They were complimenting your ass." He said gesturing behind them, she glanced and saw two shocked faces "I just thought I'd see for myself."

"Really." She said seductively, she turned and leaned closely into him "How about my lips?"

Derek smirked and met her the rest of the way, his opened to take hers in, pulling and sucking on them. Both hands now cupped around her ass and squeezed, lifting her softly as his tongue plunged into her mouth, a moan rolled up her throat and she pulled back and smirked.

"I meant my other lips Dr. Shepherd." She mumbled.

"Oh." He moaned, then trailed his hand around her hip and slid it down her leg, then around to her inner thigh and then up, she gasped for theatrics, "These lips?"

"Oh yes." She moaned "You are being naughty today aren't you."

The doors opened from the back and the interns scuffled off with nervous wide eyes, as soon as the doors closed they looked at each other and burst into laughter.  
"So those little shit heads were talking about my ass huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Well it's nothing new, I do have a complimentary ass."

"Yes." He smirked and tapped his hand against her ass cheek "You do…and they will be on cloud nine when they get a taste of you."

"Meh." She turned up her nose "I like fresh meat, but that's too fresh. I like the cougar appeal but robbing the cradle is just not my thing."

"So do you like old meat?"

"Are you asking if I like your meat?" she asked "Really, after all the orgasms you've witnessed from me, do you need to ask? Don't tell me the pussy whipper is stealing away your confidence."

"I'm not pussy whipped." He said, "And I have plenty of confidence thank you."

"Then act like it." She scoffed.

"You want confidence…" he muttered "I'll show you confidence!"

"Derek-fuck-me-Shepherd!" she gasped as he yanked her into him and crushed his lips against hers, his tongue dove into her mouth and his hands squeezed her ass tightly, practically lifting her feet off the ground as he tried to prove his point, a moan escaped one or both of them. Just as he reached her waistband the elevator stopped moving and the doors opened.

"Derek?" they heard in a soft feminine voice, Derek froze and then yanked himself away before looking at the petite brunette staring at him with wide appalled eyes.

"Wha…what…what are you doing here?" he stuttered.

"I…" she gasped and glanced at Meredith for a second, "I managed to get the week off, so I thought I would come and surprise you… what are you DOING here?"

"By the wide eyed look of shock and jealousy on your face, I'm guessing you must be Kylie." Meredith smiled politely and stuck out her hand for the woman to shake "Meredith Grey."

"Meredith?" she frowned "As in your best friend Meredith Grey?"

"That would be her." Derek smiled nervously.

"Then why the hell are you kissing her in an elevator!"

"Oh honey, kissing is the least of what we've done together in our two decades of friendship." Meredith smirked "Tip of the iceberg really, I wouldn't worry about it. And Derek was only showing me how confident he is, it was just a kiss."

Kylie looked at Derek with a wide-open mouth, as if she had a million things to say but none of them coming out. Derek was just as speechless as he glanced between the two women.

"Well I should let you two catch up." Meredith smiled sweetly "Derek come talk to me when you're finished, we need to discuss the surgery on Thursday."

Derek nodded but didn't speak; Meredith tried not to laugh as she walked down the hallway and rounded the corner…. oops.


	11. Ten Years

**_Chapter 11: Ten Years_**

"What is that all about?" Christina mumbled as she filled out a post-op report at the nurses' station, Meredith standing next to her looked up to the sound of bickering and saw Derek and Kylie standing on the landing.

"Oh that…" Meredith smirked "I would say that's my fault, but I never take the blame for anything. However, that girl up there is Derek's steady girlfriend."

"Oh."

"And she saw us kissing when she showed up unannounced."

"Oh!"

"Really, if anyone is to blame it's her, I promise no censorship but the least you can do is warn a person."

"So, how come you and Derek never got together?"

"Did you not hear me speak at all last night?" Meredith scoffed "We've gotten together hundreds of times. My vagina is practically a mold of Derek's dick by now."

"Not what I meant, but thanks for the imagery." Christina rolled her eyes, "I mean why aren't you his girlfriend, or why have you never been?"

"Because I choose not to ruin things." Meredith said "We've decided to just be our separate people and go our own ways and meet in between. I love Derek, he's the best and I don't want to lose him."

"Um, hello!" Christina frowned "He's up there arguing with a girlfriend, a girlfriend who may become a wife someday. You don't think that marriage wouldn't throw a wrench in your little deal?"

"Derek is the closest thing to a boyfriend that I've had, and I'm the closest thing to a girlfriend he's had." Meredith explained "Sure this one's been hanging around longer than the rest but, I think he's just as happy as I am with our deal. He's never really wanted to settle down, we're selfish and content with each other."

"Well maybe he was just waiting for something, and now he's tired of waiting."  
Meredith frowned as she looked up at her friend. But they were interrupted by shouting before their conversation could carry on.

"Kylie" the woman screamed "My name is Kylie, not Meredith!"

She turned and stormed across the landing and around a corner. Derek sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair, he looked down to see that Meredith, Christina and a handful of nurses were watching him, then turned and shuffled down the stairs, Meredith dared to offer him a warm smile.

"Would it make her feel better if you screamed out her name during sex next time?" Meredith asked, "I've heard my name called so many times out of your lips I'm sure it won't hurt my feelings any."

"There can't be a next time." He murmured.

"What are her conditions?" Meredith asked.

"Conditions?"

"She obviously didn't dump you." Meredith said "If she wanted to do that she would have right away, not lecture you for an hour and then storm off. So, I'm sure she gave you conditions on which she wants you to follow through with in order to keep your relationship continuing."

"She wants me to stop talking to you." He said just above a whisper. "And to stay in a hotel."

"And you said?"

"I told her that not talking to you was absurd." He scoffed "That you're my best friend, and that we're working on a case together."

"And she said?"

"That the case was understandable but after that we're done."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Seriously." Meredith scoffed "Seriously!"

"Seriously what?"

"We've been friends for Ten years…Ten god damn years!" Meredith muttered "And because one girl wants you to not talk to me, you suddenly don't know? You're actually considering throwing Ten years down the drain?"

"Meredith I'm never going to find a girl who is ok with us doing what we do."

"Ten years!" she yelped, her eyes seemed to have a fire lit behind them.

"Kylie is important to me." He sighed "She's important to my future. I can't just let her walk away either."

Meredith's jaw dropped a little as a pager shrieked on her waistband. She snatched it up angrily as she ground her teeth together and checked it, she looked up and glared at Derek as she tossed it back into her pocket.

"When you find your testicles, come talk to me." She muttered "Until then it'll all be illegible, sorry but I don't speak moron."

"Meredith!" he called out, but she was already jogging off quickly. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again, wondering if he would be bald by the end of the week. He heard a snicker a few feet behind him and looked over to see Dr. Yang filling out a chart.

"Pussywhipped." She coughed.

"I am not pussy whipped!" Derek shouted, yet again, embarrassing himself.


	12. May the Best Man Win

**_Chapter 12: May the Best Man Win_**

Derek's pager went off about five minutes after Meredith's did. He groaned to see it was the Chief of Surgery, great! He took his time making his way upstairs and down the hallway of offices. He sighed heavily before rapping his fist against the door.

"Come in."

He turned the knob and stepped in, his eyes immediately fell on her. As if she were the only one in the room, like their worlds were mean to be two magnets, always forcing themselves together and smashing everyone in the process. Her eyes were angry, she shot him a glare before she turned to ignore him. Richard gestured him to sit in the chair next to hers.

"Doctors." Richard smiled "I'm sorry this meeting isn't more formal, but I wanted you two to meet."

"We already have." Meredith muttered "Unfortunately your meeting is ten years too late."

"Oh?" he raised his brow in surprise "I had no idea. Ten years you say?"

"On and off." Derek said, "We're friends." Meredith snorted a scoffing noise "We are friends."

"Only when girlfriends approve of us being friends that is."

"She was angry, and dually so." Derek muttered "She needs time."

"I don't have time." Meredith scoffed "I get to see you MAYBE one week a year. Yes, we do some dishonorable things to our relationships outside of us but Jesus Christ Derek! One week a year! That's seven days out of the 365 that she gets you! It's a little selfish!"

"Selfish!" Derek scoffed "You would know what selfish is wouldn't you!"

"What is that supposed to mean!" she hissed "Are you calling me selfish."

"You call yourself selfish!" he muttered "Look at you, late twenties and never had so much as a boyfriend, you don't want to settle down or share your life with anyone! All you want to do is fuck around and worry about yourself!"

"Fuck you Derek!" she screamed "You always wanted to follow your own god damn dreams too! And you're always settling and finding people that you can fit into your own cracks! Heaven forbid you ever compromise for anyone!"

"DOCTORS!" Richard yelled over them. They both stopped and blushed a little, realizing that someone else was in the room. "This isn't a family counseling office!"

"Sorry." They both mumbled.

"Now I don't know what you two are arguing over, nor do I really care." He sighed "You have to figure it out enough to work together…after that you're free to duke it out, well as long as it's open hand combat."

"A slap fight?" Derek scoffed.

"You should be used to being slapped around by a girl by now." Meredith mumbled. Derek shot her a glare "Richard if this meeting is all you intended I do need to get to my surgical patient."

"Our, surgical patient."

"My, surgical patient that you're assigned to help me with."

"Doctors!" Richard hissed "That isn't all I had in mind, but now I'm reconsidering my talk."

"What do you mean Richard?" Derek asked.

Richard took a deep breath and let it out slowly "Derek I am not trying to persuade you to move out here just to have the best surgical team in the continental united states…I'm…I'm finally retiring."

"What?" Meredith stuttered "Richard!"

"In a year's time, I should be retiring and I want to make sure that this hospital is in…" he ground his teeth together as he looked at them narrowly "In good hands."

"And it will be, I'm sorry." Derek nodded "I would be happy to take over the hospital for you."

"Bull shit!" Meredith muttered "You can't even stand up to your own fucking girlfriend, how the bloody hell do you think you can run a surgical floor?"

"At least I can keep my mouth shut and my temper in check."

"Actually." Richard sighed "It'll be between both of you."

"What." They mumbled simultaneously.

"I'm considering you both candidates." He said, "So try to get along, and may the best man win."

"Yes, may the best MAN win." Derek snickered.

Meredith raised her brow "Well neither of us really has a pair of balls so I guess the playing field is evened up a bit."

* * *

**Who do you think will be the next Chief of Surgery, Meredith or Derek? **


	13. I Need More Time

**_Chapter 13: I Need More Time_**

Meredith walked into her patients' room and smiled at his wife as she grabbed a chart off the end of his bed.

"How is he doing?" she asked softly, not wanting to wake him from his sleep.

"He's doing ok." She said, "He's had two seizures in the last hour though."

"Huh." Meredith frowned "That wasn't noted in the chart." She looked it over and flipped pages "Come to think of it, nothing's been noted in the chart as of today." She looked up at the woman "Has an intern been in today, short and chubby with brown hair?"

"No." she shook her head "I haven't seen anyone, but the nurses and they just take vitals."

"So no one." She said, then heard someone skitter into the room and looked up, narrowing her eyes "Definitely not him?"

She shook her head, Meredith smiled so big that it almost hurt "Excuse me." She walked towards the intern and took his arm as she went into the hallway and shoved him down the hall, then threw the chart at him "It fucking amazes me how they let some of you MORONS out of medical school with shit like this!"

"Dr. Grey I.. I was just about to check on him."

"Please enlighten me!" Meredith hissed "As to WHY exactly it is that he has not been checked on YET!"

"Well there was this really cool surgery." He stuttered "I didn't know it would take so long."

Meredith turned red and pressed her lip together, closed her eyes and took a few long deep breaths before opening her eyes and glaring at him.

"So you didn't check on my patient, and your obligation, because you wanted to see a cool surgery?"

"Well…yeah."

"You do realize that if he had coded, if he had died because your incompetent little ass wasn't on the ball, that there would be a lawsuit right? I mean was that cool surgery worth your menial little medical license. Was it worth having money in your bank account for the next ten years?"

"I um..I."

"NO!" she screamed "The answer is NO it's not worth it! You're a doctor, YOUR patient is your priority. Get that through your thick little skull and get me another god damn intern who can tell the fucking time!"

He scurried off, tripping a few times before turning the corner to most likely wet himself.

"Is that how you'll be dealing with staff when you're chief?" she heard behind her and closed her eyes to take another cleansing breath "By making them shit their pants in fear?"

"Well." She shrugged and turned around "It works."

"You know what it reminds me of?"

"Well I know it's not your girlfriend, she seemed more of the guilt trip type."

"Your mother." He smirked. She gasped, her eyes widened, and she then narrowed them at him.

"That was low, and just… wrong."

"Well it does." He said "You yell just like her."

Meredith turned a few shades of red as she pressed her lips together and tried to calm down.

"I…" she breathed out "am…" she breathed in "not…" she exhaled "like my.." she growled "mother!"

"I know you're not." He said with a hint of a smile "But when you go all demon versus the exorcist like with that intern there, it reminds me."

Meredith crossed her arms and huffed. "Fine, I might give you that little bit of lee way."

"Can I ask you to consider a little more?"

"It might be pushing it."

"Meredith." He said softly as he took a step forward and wrapped his hand around her shoulder "My Meredith." She looked up at him, her eye softening a little "You're my first love, and we've been at this for a while, one decade. There's no way in hell I'm giving our friendship up for anyone."

"No?" she mumbled.

"Not a chance." He said, his hand moving up to cradle her chin "But this is the first girl I've wanted around for longer than a night. I like her, and though I love you more. I need to learn how to live with you both in my life. I'm learning, give me some time."

"Well." She mumbled "I've given you ten years of my time.. I suppose one more week won't hurt."

"Thank you." He whispered and leaned in, catching her lips in his for a soft make-up kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, ya big oaf!" She said with a sigh "Now, can we finally talk about the case?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

**Is Meredith like Ellis?**


	14. The Morgue

**_Chapter 14: The Morgue_**

So, surgery is on Thursday at 3 o'clock." Meredith mumbled as she scribbled in the chart.

"I think we should have him prepped around 2 o'clock," Derek said, following her out of the room "to make sure everything is absolutely as ready as it can be."

"Ah, the sweet satisfaction of competence." Meredith sighed with a smile "I can't tell you how refreshing it is to finally have someone who knows their ass from their esophagus."

"Well I'm no proctologist, but I've definitely had my fair share of ass." He smirked "Yours specifically."

"I'm pretty sure your dick's been in my esophagus as well."

He flustered a little and cleared his throat "So where are you off to next?"

"Are you bored?" she giggled.

"Well I was called out for this surgery alone, so I have nothing to do." He said, "And since I have no doubt you would castrate me if I stole another of your surgeries, I am finding myself a little restless."

"You're bored." She said, "And out of luck since my next scheduled surgery isn't until morning." She sighed and looked at her watch "I'm going to the morgue."

"The morgue." He frowned "I knew you liked stiffs but wasn't aware that cold was your cup of tea."

"I'm not going to fuck a dead guy Derek." She rolled her eyes as she headed into the stairwell, he followed.

"Then what's with the morgue."

"I need practice." She said, then mumbled into a whisper "I've never done this before."

"Sorry?" he smirked and put his finger to his ear "Didn't catch that."

She sighed heavily and stopped "I haven't done this before!" He smirked at her vulnerable confession "And I cannot fail! I need to pass this surgery with flying colors so I'm going to go hack a dead guy's brain open and practice. At least you can't kill a dead person."

"They're already dead."

"Brilliant point, thanks for letting me know, I would have had no bloody idea."

"Would you like help?" he rolled his eyes. "I on the other hand have done this before."

"Fine." She muttered "But your ego stays here."

He rolled his eyes as he followed her down the stairs to the morgue, they found an empty back room and she wheeled a body in, he helped her drag it onto the metal table, then she pulled a pair of gloves on and put on her scrub cap, Derek did a little double take and smirked.

"Hello Kitty?" he raised his brow.

"It's the only pussy I can show off without getting arrested."

"Very you." He chuckled. "Scalpel?"

"Thank you."

She smiled and took the blade and went at it, she cut open the cadaver's head, and then used the drill to remove its skull cap. She concentrated intensely as she separated the nerves and veins between the two lobes of the brain. She stalled as she looked at all the different nerves and deciding on which to go for first. She sighed with frustration and felt him suddenly behind her; he wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a palm on the flat of her stomach, his mouth breathed into her neck.

"You've got a strong gut." He said, "Use it."

"I don't know which one to cut first."

"Close your eyes and pick one." He chuckled softly. She closed her eyes and felt tingles crawl up her neck as his breath beatted against it, she grabbed a nerve and snipped it "Good."

"Good?" she peeked her eyes open "I didn't kill him."

"Technically he's already dead." He said, "But you wouldn't have killed him twice."

"Ok, which one is next?"

"See these right here." He pointed out, she nodded "They all need to be cut, there's no pattern, just snip."

"That's it?" she frowned "Nothing to it."

"No." he smirked "Nothing at all."

"Then why the fuck was I making such a big ass deal over it?"

"Because you're frustrated."

"Yes." She agreed "I guess I could be a lot less frustrated had I gotten laid last night, and not been smooched and groped in an elevator earlier."

"I'm sorry." He whispered and ran his lips up and down her neck, he felt her shiver, his hands moved up her stomach and grasped her breasts, he could feel her nipples hard and peeking out through her bra and scrub shirt. "I'm sorry I did that."

"God Derek." She gasped "Please don't tease me."

He dropped his hands, she sighed, and then he spun her around in his arms. His eyes were dark and mysterious as he looked down at her.

"Who said I was teasing?"

"We're in a morgue." She giggled "Full of dead people, and you want to have sex?" he nodded, his eyes darkening by the second, she gasped with anticipation and licked her lips "That is so fucking hot!"

"Yeah…" he groaned as he crushed his lips against her with angst and desire.

"Oh, Derek." She gasped and lifted her arms as he yanked her shirt over her head "If your girlfriend barges through that door and I don't get to finish, so help me if you haven't seen me fucking pissed before!"

"Shut up." He mumbled into her collar bone "No more talking, and no one's stopping."

She moaned as his lips and teeth nipped and nibbled down her chest, he used a finger to push away the lace cup of her bra, releasing her nipple out into the open for his mouth's taking. She threw her head back and gasped as he wrapped his mouth around it, then flicked it with his tongue.

She reached for his scrub pants and yanked the tie loose, then tugged them off of his hips, letting them pool around his ankles. She reached for his erection and grasped onto it tightly, he groaned as she began stroking and pumping it up to its fullest. He lifted her up onto the metal counter top and pulled her legs around his hips, she gasped at the look in his eyes and cried out when he buried himself inside of her.

"Derek!" she screamed and felt her toes curl as he thrusted himself deeply inside of her. "Oh yes!"

"Who are you showing your pussy to now?" he grunted.

"You!" she cried out "Oh god…and you love it don't you!"

"Oh yes!" he groaned "I love your pussy."

"Mmmm!" she moaned "Oh take it, take it now!"

"Get ready to release all that frustration."

"It's all built up, it's so tight right now."

"God it's tight!" he groaned.

He grabbed onto her hips and yanked her into him hard as he thrust forward, feeling all the way to the back of her, sending her into a shaking, toe curling orgasm. He felt her clamp down around him and her fluids shooting around, showering and bathing him, sending him plummeting over the edge as well.

"Holy fuck." She panted with a grin spreading across her face "God damn that was worth you holding out."

"Fuck." He panted as he rested against her "I didn't even know I had that in me."

"Well thank you sir for sharing." She giggled.

He chuckled and backed up to pull his pants up. She hopped off the counter and pulled hers up, then looked for her lab coat, grabbed something out of it, put it between her lips and flicked a lighter. She inhaled deeply and blew out a soft puff of smoke.

"Are you kidding me?" he scoffed "We're in a damn morgue."

She puffed out a ring of smoke and rolled her eyes at him. "Really, I don't see the patients in here complaining about their risks to secondhand smoke. Now, you just gave me the holy grail of orgasms and I'm celebrating, you should be boasting with pride right now."

"I am." He smiled "but those things really will kill you."

"Something will kill me eventually." She said, "And I only smoke them when I drink and after sex so shut up."

He shook his head as she smoked and finished her cigarette. She sighed and looked around to see where her shirt landed. The doors opened and Derek's eyes grew wide as he stared apologetically at Meredith. She looked over his shoulder and smiled at the person walking in.

"Hey Stew." She said, as if she were walking around looking for a scalpel or a pen, not a shirt to cover her naked torso. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing good Dr. Grey." The short round man in a lab coat said "I'm sorry I didn't know you were in here."

"I apologize I didn't inform you." She said "Dr. Shepherd and I were only practicing our surgery on one of the cadavers."

"Oh, your big surgery?" he smiled and turned to look at Derek "And nice to meet you Dr. Shepherd."

Derek stood there staring at them like an idiot, confused and baffled "Uh…yeah, nice to meet you too Stew."

"Well I won't bother you any longer, I'll let you get back to your surgery practice."

"Thank you Stew." Meredith smiled "We won't be long."

He nodded and turned out of the room. Derek looked at her with shock and partial glare in his eyes as she leaned over and grabbed her shirt that she'd finally located.

"I'm sorry I put you in such an unprofessional position."

"Huh?" she frowned.

"One of your colleagues just saw you half naked!" he hissed at a whisper "And you just stood there."

"Of course I did." She frowned, "I had to be polite, that man lets me come down here and slice anyone open I want to."

"But he just saw you half naked!"

"Oh." She giggled "Yeah, um Stew is blind Derek."

"Huh?"

"Blind, as in can't see worth a shit." She said, Derek looked around curiously "He was the head mortician, but then he was in an accident and lost his eyesight. Since he's brilliant and knows the human body better than anyone else in this bastard place, they let him stay."

"Does he still do autopsies?"

"He helps." She said, "But he's a very sweet man."

"If he's blind then how did he know where I was?" he asked, "He looked at me."

"He looked in your direction." She said, "You're a doctor, you should know that when people lose one sense the other's pick up for the loss, I'm sure he heard you breathe."

"Oh." Derek gulped "Do you think he heard us?"

"Oh I'm sure he did."

"And you don't find that embarrassing or shameful?"

"Am I ashamed that I had an orgasm that I'll be high off of at least the rest of the work day?" she arched her brow "No. Am I ashamed that he probably got off on it and I helped an old blind man smile today? Absolutely not. Really Derek, look at the bright side of things for a once, your gloominess is putting a damper on my libido."

Derek stood there and shook his head and let out a sigh, she was still taking him by surprise, his unbelievable Meredith. He watched as she pulled her scrub cap on again and felt a flutter in his chest as his eyes followed her around the room. Not once did he think about Kyle, she never crossed his mind. And he wondered if that was a sign.


	15. What Happens If

**_Chapter 15: What Happens If…_**

"Ugh." Meredith moaned as she dropped her tray on the table "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

"Yuck." Lexie mumbled through a mouthful of chips "Don't they make dog food out of horses?"

"Who would know something like that?" Christina scoffed "We're doctors, not veterinarians."

"No, but Jackson's vet is pretty hot." Lexie grinned.

"How would you know what Jackson's vet looks like." Meredith smirked "How would you know that he had a dog… did you two?"

"How did the girlfriend thing work out?" Lexie asked to quickly change the subject.

"How did you hear about the girlfriend thing."

"Half the damn hospital heard it firsthand." Christina snickered "Nothing is a sacred secret here Meredith, you of all people know this."

"I do." She shrugged "And I guess it'll work out."

"So he's getting rid of the pussy whipper?" Christina asked.

"Something like that." Meredith shrugged "I don't know, I think it's stupid she's so upset. She has nothing to worry about, Derek and I are just being us. No threat to her little New York stilettos."

"So I'm guessing you'll be sticking to using bob?"

"Oh no, Derek fucked me already." She said, "It was mind blowing as usual." She glanced up to see two wide open mouths staring at her "Don't keep your faces like that too long, you look like you've been giving too much blow."

"Are you serious?" Lexie stuttered "You and Derek just had sex and she has nothing to worry about?"

"Her and Derek apparently can't help themselves, I'm not sure anyone has a choice in the matter."

"But the girlfriend obviously has something to worry about!"

"Why?" Meredith frowned "Why would she have to worry about us having sex?"

"Well how would you feel if your boyfriend was screwing his friend?" Lexie asked, Meredith looked at her incredulously "You wouldn't feel jealous?"

"Mer." Christina smirked "What was the name of your last boyfriend?" Meredith gave her a blank stare "when was the last time you had a boyfriend?" Meredith deepened her blank look "See Lex? She really has no idea."

"You've never had a boyfriend?" Lexie frowned, Meredith shook her head "Really!"

"I've just had one-night stands and Derek." She shrugged "I've never needed or wanted a boyfriend. Why put myself into an emotional draining affair, for kicks? Landing myself into my parents shoes has never sounded appealing to me."

"So you've never even tried?" Lexie scoffed "That is so sad."

"Actually it sounds smart to me." Christina shrugged "Boys are so stupid, if you're lucky enough to find a good one he's probably gay or secretly married."

"Exactly." Meredith mumbled as she took a bite of her hamburger "It's a waste of time in my opinion."

"What about Derek?" Lexie asked.

"What about him?"

"Well he obviously values relationships to a degree. What happens when he wants to settle down into one."

"He is in one…that's fine."

"What happens when he wants to get married, to stop dicking around and have a family." Lexie argued. Meredith looked up, her blank stare was back "He's mid-twenties Meredith, and I know you are too. But one of these days he's going to get tired of hooking up every so many months or years and he's going to want someone to come home to at night. And if you're not willing then he'll move on."

"Derek knows how I feel, and he's been ok with it all these years. Nothing will change, and that's the point. I don't want to ruin things that we have by dragging us through a relationship that will fail."

"That might fail." Lexie said, "You never know unless you try."

"I've lost my appetite." Meredith sighed and got up "Thanks."

"Meredith." Lexie sighed "Don't go, I was just being honest."

"And your parents are perfect right? Your dad's always halfway in the bottle and your mother is dead. So, who are you to preach to me about life being a fucking fairytale."

"Whoa!" Christina piped up "Nice kitty. Calm down, ok? Lexie, Mer is going to do what she wants to do no matter what. And whatever happens will happen. Mer, Lex was just trying to beat some sense into you. As much as I hate to agree there's a chance Derek might move on, and we don't want to see you drowning yourself in tequila and being picked up on park benches. Comprende?"

Meredith nodded as her pager went off "I have to go, see you guys later."

"Later."

"She's going to lose him." Lexie said, "You know that right?"

"I know…but some people just have to learn the hard way."

* * *

**Do you guys agree with Lexie and Christina?**


	16. Marry Me Meredith

**_Chapter 16: Marry Me Meredith_**

Derek sat in the gallery, looking through the glass window down into the OR. His eyes followed the surgeon under the hello kitty scrub cap. She was mean, orderly, and a pain in the ass…. but she worked flawlessly, beautifully, and her mistakes were few and far between. He knew, and had for a long time, that she was without a doubt, the love of his lifetime. There would be no one who could ever brush the same level she was in his mind…. but he was getting older, and he needed something to rely on.

He wanted to settle down, he wanted to be married and have a family. Of course, he wanted it to be with her, more than anything. But she was nowhere near ready, and he didn't know how to even begin to move on…but he knew that he had to. He could feel the deep lines of pain in his face as he watched her operate on her patient.

"You don't look like a guy who's thinking about popping the question to his girlfriend."

Derek looked over and smoothed out his pained expression. "Christina, right?"

She nodded "So I'm not really the intimate conversation kind of girl. But Meredith means a lot to me, and I know you mean a lot to her…so what's with the long face?"

"It's just not easy." He mumbled "Not as easy as I thought it would be."

"To move on, or hang on?"

"You really like reading people don't you?"

"I wouldn't say I like it so much as it's a talent of mine." She sighed "So which is it?"

"A little of both."

"So you're what…26-27? You are feeling you are at a point you want to move on. And the person you want to move on with doesn't want to. So, you move on with someone else."

"Maybe you should have gone into psychiatric." He laughed.

"I'm being nice." She glared "Don't push me."

"It should feel better." He said, "I'm getting what I want, I should be happy."

"You're not getting what you want." She said, "You're settling, and you have to expect a certain level of unhappiness when you settle."

"I can't stay here forever." He said, "Like you said, I'm _29_ and I need…."

"What?"

"I need something I can hold onto." He said "And Meredith, as you know…she doesn't like to be held onto, not for long."

"Have you told her how you feel?"

"Yes, dozens of times."

"No, have you told her how you REALLY feel?" Christina clarified.

"What do you mean?"

"Meredith is a very strong person, and as you know she loves to push people. I'm pretty sure she gets off on it actually." Christina smirked "And I don't know you but you sound like a strong person too…. when you're away from Meredith."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that she's your candy." She explained, he scrunched his brow up looking confused still "You know, like parents getting their kids to do just about anything when they flash candy in their face."

"Oh."

"She's your weakness, and I'm sure you've tried talking to her, but have you really told her how you feel without her persuading the conversation otherwise?"

"No." he mumbled "I've always agreed with her, always let her end the conversation. Because I didn't want to lose her, I figured having her in one way was better than not at all."

"Maybe it's time to let go." She said, "Maybe it's your turn to be selfish."

"I don't want to let her go."

"Sometimes you have to let something go." She said "If it comes back to you, it's meant to be."

"I've let her go hundreds of times, we always make it back to each other. But it's never enough."

"So tell her that."

* * *

_You've got all that I need  
Looking at all or nothing, babe it's you and I_

Derek stood in the hallway, outside the scrub room and paced back and forth as he tried to think of what to say, he rehearsed his speech a million times over and yet it still didn't seem right. He waited until everyone had left the OR, he knew that she would be the last person to leave. She was like the captain of her ship, should it sink, she'd go down along with it.

_With you I know that I am good for something  
So let's go give it a try_

He finally saw her enter the scrub room and start to scrub out, he gulped and took in a deep breath as he opened the door and walked in, she looked up at him and smiled, he couldn't help return it. Smiling was so easy with Meredith, even when his heart felt as if it were about to shatter.

"That was a great surgery." He said.

"Thanks." She smiled "You were welcome to join me."

"I was enjoying just watching you." He said. "And I know that you're going to do great tomorrow."

"Of course I will." She smirked "And I have to let my overconfident ego admit that it'll be nice to have you there helping me along."

_We got our backs against the ocean, It's just us against the world  
Looking at all or nothing, Babe it's you and I  
Looking at all or nothing, Babe it's you and I_

He felt a knot twist in his chest…"I won't be there."

"What?" she frowned "Of course you are…it's the whole reason you came out here."

"I see that it's in good hands though." He said, "So I'm leaving…tonight."

"Oh." She mumbled as she dried her hands off, disappointment was washed all over her face "Well I guess you have stuff you need to get back to."

"I'm going to ask Kylie to marry me."

_Let's take a chance go far away today, And never look back again  
Since I said I loved you in Las Vegas, It's never been the same since then_

"Oh." She gulped, he thought he might have even seen her flinch, but she plastered a smile across her face that he knew was fake "Well congratulations, I hope it makes you happy."

"No." he shook his head "It's not what will truly make me honestly happy. But it's what I have to do to be happy with the life I live. I have to grow up Meredith."

"So grow up." She muttered "If that's what you want!"

_You've got all that I need  
Looking at all or nothing, Babe it's you and I_

"I know what I want." He said, he grabbed her hands into his and held them tightly "I know you're scared because you've had a bad example; your parents were both doctors and they loved their jobs more than each other, they fell apart. But that won't happen to me, because there's one thing that I love more than my career, and more than anything else in the world. And it's right here in my hands." Her breath trembled a little, she gulped as she felt something hard pressing between their hands, she glanced down as he pulled away his hand from hers. It was small, round, platinum, sparkly and cradled in the palm of her hand "Marry me Meredith."

"Derek." She whispered, tears started to rim her eyes.

_With you I know, I am good for something  
So let's go give it a try_

"I love you. I've only ever loved you." He said, "But if you can't love me back the same way, then I have to go."

"I can't." she whispered "Derek I've never pretended to be a bride, I've never written my name as a Mrs. So-and-so. I can't marry you, I wouldn't be a good wife and I just don't want to. Things are great, I love how things are and I do love you. Just please, leave them as they are."

_We got our backs against the ocean  
It's just us against the world_

"They're not great." He said, his eyes burning with tears and anger "Not for me."

"Derek?"

_Looking at all or nothing  
Babe it's you and I_

"I guess this is it." He said, now the one faking a smile "You're going to do great in surgery tomorrow, because you're an excellent surgeon. Your mother would be proud."

_Looking at all or nothing  
Babe it's you and I_

He leaned in and softly pressed his lips to her cheek, her eyes closed, and a single tear escaped. The kiss was short and ended too soon for either of them. She kept her eyes closed but heard his footsteps retreat, she couldn't watch him go. He left her there, standing alone, still holding a ring with a now empty promise.

_This is it nothing to hide  
One more kiss never say goodbye_


	17. You Need to Grow Up

**_Chapter 17: You Need to Grow Up_**

"Who proposes and throws out a fucking ultimatum!" Meredith slurred and sloshed another swig into her mouth "Oh, marry me Meredith! And if you don't, I'm marrying someone else!"

"I wish someone would propose to me." Lexie mumbled.

"Boys are stupid." Meredith muttered and slurred "Them and their stupid boy penises."

"Yeah." Lexie burped "Stupid penis."

Meredith was laying lazily across a pool table, cradling a bottle of tequila and Lexie with a bottle of bourbon laying on a table top next to the pool table.

"You know what color their stupid wedding is?"

"What?" Lexie mumbled.

"Pink!" Meredith shouted drunkenly "Who the hell likes pink? Derek doesn't like pink, I don't even like pink! Their wedding invitation was all pink and flowery, it's so not Derek. Derek hates pink."

"I like pink." Lexie mumbled

"Then maybe you should marry Melinda…Morgan….Marion." she sighed and took another swig "Whatever her name is… I don't care, I hope he's happy. I don't care about him."

"Oh yeah?" they heard and looked up to see Christina standing over them "Then why are you laying across a pool table in the middle of a bar, with an almost empty bottle of tequila at…" she looked at her wrist "Two o'clock in the morning."

"I don't have an empty bottle." Meredith frowned and pulled the bottle up to where she could see "Oh shit…who drank all my tequila!"

"You're pathetic." Christina muttered and looked over at Lexie as she belched "And you're just drunk."

"And you're here why?"

"Because Joe has a lot better things to do than stay past closing time to baby sit and listen to your drunken cries over Derek."

"I'm not crying over Derek." She frowned "I'm fine, I just wanted to have a good time."

"You've been having a good time every night since he left." She said, "And you got his wedding invitation in the mail today, I think you saved a few whales tonight with all the tequila you drank." Meredith belched and then let out a giggle "This has got to stop."

"There's nothing to stop." Meredith groaned as she tried to push herself up but slipped and fell back against the table "Owe." She sighed and looked up at Christina "I'm fine. My best….my former best friend is getting married next weekend. Oh, fucking well, hope the whole having sex to with person, who isn't me, for the rest of his life is good for him."

"You know I'm all for sex."

"Me too!" Lexie piped up.

"But there's more to life than sex Mer." Christina sighed "You're going to miss out on it. You need to stop playing games and grow up."

"I'm not playing games." She said, "I've never lied, I've always been upfront, and never had any rules."

"So that's it." She asked, "You're just going to let him go… you're just going to let ten years spiral down the drain?"

"I can't make him happy Christina." She said with the most sobering voice "I'm not good wife material, I wouldn't make him happy."

"You never tried." She said "So you don't deserve him. And you don't deserve to drown yourself in tequila either."

* * *

**What do you think about what Christina said?**


	18. I Have to Stop It

**_Chapter 18: I Have to Stop It _**

Meredith sobered up after that night. But only because she convinced herself that it was ridiculous behavior to pine and drink over someone, she was intent upon not caring about. Not anymore anyway. Inside, her heart was breaking, but she didn't want to hear it.

She sat at her desk in her office, the only light on was the lamp and hoped that it would be enough of a sign to not be bothered. She dropped a small metal object on the desktop and watched it spin until it stopped. She picked it up and did it again, and again, and again. She then picked it up and held it between her fingers and sighed, it was pretty. Though it was a simple solitaire ring, a carat or two diamond wrapped in platinum, it was simple and elegant, much like her.

She wondered what his fiancé's ring looked like, and if it was anything like this one. She glanced over at the wedding invitation that was sticking out of the wastebasket. She wondered who sent it to her, was it him? Was it his mother? Was it one of his sisters? Definitely not Nancy. She heard a knock on the office door and jumped, she shoved the ring back into the top drawer of her desk and smiled.

"Come in."

"Meredith." Richard smiled as he let himself in "Good, I'm glad you're still here."

"I hardly leave the place Richard." Meredith smiled "You had to have found me at some point."

"Right."

"So what brings you to my office door at this hour?"

"I was just headed home actually." He said, "And I thought I would come share some news with you."

"And what news is that?"

"Well." He smiled "I'll be retiring in a month. And since your competition backed out, you'll be the new Chief of Surgery."

"Oh." She mumbled.

"You don't seem very excited about it." He frowned "I thought you wanted it."

"I do." She gulped "It's just… well to be honest it's a little intimidating."

"You're perfect for it Meredith." He smiled "You're here more than anyone else, you have no one at home begging you for your time. Being alone is what a person needs to be for this job. You have no other obligations; you can marry your work and not feel guilty. It's perfect for you."

Meredith nodded and felt numb, like when someone out of the blue sucker punches you in the face. You feel numb right before the pain sets in. Richard smiled and told her goodnight before letting himself out. She gasped as tears welled in her eyes finally, she looked at the invitation still sticking out of her wastebasket and then a sob erupted her throat.

"Oh god!" her voice trembled. She grabbed the invitation out of the basket and stood up, knocking her chair over in the process and ran out of her office, she turned down the hallway and skidded to a stop, opening a familiar door without bothering to knock "Christina!"

"Mer?" Christina frowned, noticing something was very wrong, she'd never seen her friend cry. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be alone!" she sobbed, her hands shook but still held tightly to the card in her hand "Oh god I'm going to be all alone!"

"What do you mean?" Christina asked as she stepped in front of her. "Why are you going to be alone?"

"Derek's gone! Derek's gone for good and I'm going to be all alone for the rest of my life!" she sobbed "No one will ever replace him! I'll never find another Derek."

"Then you know what you have to do?"

"I have to stop the wedding." She sniffled "I have to stop him."

"You know it's in eight hours, right?" Christina said as she glanced at the clock "And it's a six-hour flight if you're lucky enough to not get stuck on any layovers."

"I better hurry then."

* * *

"What's wrong son?" Carolyn Shepherd asked as she walked out to the balcony where her only son stood looking aimlessly into the night.

"Nothing." He mumbled "Just a nice night."

"It is a nice night." She smiled "But I don't think that's why you came out here."

"Maybe it's just typical jitters." He said, "Everyone gets those right before their big day."

"Yes they do." She smiled "But I think you miss Meredith."

"Mom." He shot her a harsh look, "Meredith is my past."

"And she was a huge, huge part of it." She said, "It's only human Derek, you can allow yourself that much."

"I wish Dad was here." He sighed

"He would be proud of you." She said, then laughed "Oh as much as he argued that he was right, he sure can be wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Well." She smiled "He always said you would marry Meredith."

"I thought he hated Meredith."

"No." she smirked "He was crude with everyone sweetheart." She squeezed his shoulder "But Meredith reminded him of…well himself. You look a lot like your father, but you act more like me, you have a soft heart. Your father, well he saw a lot of spunk and fire in Meredith. It reminded him if himself, and he thought that the two combinations were one of a kind."

"Well I don't know about spunk and fire." Derek scoffed "More like piss and vinegar."

"I'm happy son." She smiled "As long as you're happy… as long as you're truly happy."

"This is making me happy."

* * *

**Please read and review?**


	19. I'm Ready to Grow Up

**_Chapter 19: I'm Ready to Grow Up_**

"Come on…answer your fucking phone!" Meredith hissed as she yanked her luggage through the JFK airport at a swift jog. "Move it!" she muttered to the crowds of people standing in her way.

"Taxi!" she called out and waved her arm in the air, luckily one pulled up to the curb right away. She didn't bother throwing her suitcase in the back she just jumped in the seat and tossed it next to her "Thank you!"

"Sure miss." The man nodded "Where to?"

"Derek Anthony Shepherd!" she muttered into the phone "I know we didn't part on good terms last time we saw each other but god damn it I deserve a little more respect than this! Please, I'm begging you! Call me before you get to the alter!"

"Running late to a wedding?" he asked.

"Trying to convince the groom to marry me instead." She sighed, he glanced at her in the rearview mirror. "Look, I'll pay you triple your fare and show you my tits, whatever. Just get me to this church in the next fifteen minutes." She said tossing the invitation to him "Now!"

"Will do ma'am."

And with that they were off in a hurry. Whipping through New York streets at lightning speed. Normally she would cuss the cab driver out for the crazy insane way he was moving through traffic but right now she didn't care. Her hands were shaking and her nerves about to unravel as she was slammed around in the back seat of the cab. All she cared about was getting there before he said I do.

* * *

This was the day of Derek's dreams. The church was beautiful, it was as if Martha Stewart herself decorated it. All the groomsmen were there and dressed neatly, as were the bridesmaids. Even the flower girls made it down the aisle without incident. And his bride, well she was pretty. He smiled brightly anyway, he'd always wanted to be a groom, even if this weren't his first choice of brides.

He tried not to think of the one he wanted in front of him now. She didn't want to be there, and she made that clear. He dismissed the thought from his mind as the priest asked them to take each other's hands.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony."

Derek took a deep breath and calmed his mind to a blank state, just repeat after him. Exactly after him.

"Repeat after me son." The priest said "I Derek, take you Kylie to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"I Derek," he smiled "take you Meredith to be my lawfully wedded wife."

He stopped and wondered if he'd said that out loud or not. But judging by the gasps in the room and the look on Kylie's face he was sure he did

"Kylie…" he mumbled "I take Kylie, not…"

"I speak!" they heard at the back of the church, and looked up to see the doors open and a blonde with unruly hair walking down the aisle out of breath "Or not hold my peace…whatever the hell that saying is."

The church fell to a silence as all eyes were on her. A few gasps flying towards her use of 'choice' words in a church.

"Meredith?" Derek mumbled "What are you doing here?"

"Well you would know." She glared "If you'd answered any one of my phone calls."

"Oh hell no!" Derek heard behind him and turned just in time to see his sister Nancy rushing down the steps "This is a wedding, and though you're not used to courtesy you need to know you're crossing a line. Now go outside and wait, he can talk to you then."

"Nancy." Meredith showed her teeth and stopped in front of her at the front of the aisle "I never liked you. You're an annoying over controlling bitch who only appreciates one's company as long as they do exactly what you want them to do." Nancy reared her head back and looked appalled "Sorry cunt, but I'm no one's puppet."

"How dare you!" Nancy gasped and reached out to push her…Meredith took a step back, reared her arm back and pummeled her fist forward and across Nancy's cheek. There were a few soft screams and gasps as Nancy fell to the floor out cold. Meredith sighed and stepped over her and walked forward, flashed her eyes to the front pew "Sorry mama Shepherd."

"It's been a long time coming dear." Carolyn smiled "She'll be ok." then she mumbled "I was beginning to think you'd never show."

Meredith nodded and walked to the alter, took a step forward and stopped. She looked up at Derek and gulped.

"What are you doing here?" Kylie scoffed "As if you haven't ruined enough for us already."

"I just want to talk to Derek."

"Well your time with him has expired so you'll just have to.."

"Shh!" Derek hissed and put his hand up to her face "Let her speak."

Meredith looked around at the church full of people and sighed "Well this wasn't exactly how I imagined doing this."

"Would you rather wait until after?" he asked.

"No." she shook her head "This is embarrassing, humiliating, and mortifying. And you of all people know that, that doesn't happen easily for me." A hint of a smirk hit his lips as he looked down at her and listened "But that still is nothing….to what it would feel to lose you forever."

Derek turned away from the bride and gave her his full attention, tears watered her eyes and she took another step up "Derek, you are my best friend, my first love, the best sex I have and will ever have…" she heard a few gasps behind her and whispers, she closed her eyes and huffed "Sorry." She opened her eyes to see his amused expression still looking down at her "What I'm trying to say is that….that playing games was fun, and living life for my career got me a lot of money and fame, and I may always say what's on my mind without a censor, I might always want the best out of people, and I will always, always be a pain in the ass….but I'll always love you the most."

His eyes softened a little and he saw a few tears fall from her eyes, she wiped them away quickly.

"I'm scared." She whimpered "I may be a hard ass on the outside but inside I'm still a little girl, and I'm standing in front of my favorite boy. Asking you please…pick me, choose me, love me."

Derek stepped down the last few steps until he stood in front of her, he took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Why are you scared?" he asked.

"Because." She said, "I don't want this to go bad, you're the one person I can't stand to lose."

"But you're the one who said it, remember?"

"Remember what?"

"After our first time." He smiled "You told me…"

"That you would never hurt me more than you had to."

"Exactly." He said, "And you have never been righter." A smile graced her lips as she looked intensely up at him "So you really mean all this?"

"I'm ready to grow up, I'm ready for us to grow up."

He leaned his forehead into hers, pressing them together and whispered.

"Then prove it."

* * *

**What do you think about Meredith stopping the wedding?**


	20. Bride Switch

**_Chapter 20: Bride Switch_**

"Don't worry." Kathleen soothed Meredith in a backroom of the church "We can get this all done in an hour."

"Are you sure, I mean what about a dress." Meredith mumbled nervously "You know what I don't care about a dress, forget the dress."

"Honey, this is New York." Jenny laughed "We could probably find a dress your size in half an hour."

"True." Meredith shrugged "You guys are ok doing this? I mean I completely knocked out your sister."

"Someone had to." Kathleen smirked "We're just glad you had the balls."

"I can handle only so much annoying bitch in a day, and the airline stewardesses used all that up between Baltimore and JFK."

"Yeah, that flight sucks."

"So, this whole bride swap thing." Meredith paced "You sure it's ok. I mean the guests are ok with waiting?"

"Well the bride's side is already gone." Jenny laughed "And the groom's side will just have to understand, it was you from the beginning."

"You think so?"

"Meredith where is your confidence?" Kathleen frowned.

"Buried under six feet of nerves on crack."

"At least your sense of humor is still intact." Jenny laughed. There was a soft knock on the door, and they all looked up "Come in."

They looked over to see Derek peek his head in the door. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I just came to see how Meredith was." He said

"Well now you see her, now go." Jenny glared.

"No!" Meredith gasped, "No I need him. I need a minute."

"Ok." Kathleen mumbled "But only a minute."

"Is there anything you want us to do before we get back?"

"Run around the block a few times." Derek muttered. His sisters shot him a glare.

"Take those god awful topiary thingies down off the aisle." Meredith scoffed "I'm not a flower person."

"Hey, those were very expensive flowers." Derek frowned "And they look nice, I like them."

"Pink roses Derek?" Meredith raised her brow "You like pink roses, really? Would you like me to make you a wreath out of them, maybe you could go skipping down the aisle throwing petals too?"

"Take the roses down." Derek mumbled to his sisters before they left.

"This is going too." She said and reached up to take off his tie "I never liked you in a bow-tie."

"You're nervous."

"Yeah." She gulped "A little."

"You said you would do this."

"I know…I just don't like being in churches." She said, "I feel like a plane will come crashing down on top of us or something just because I took a step inside of one."

"Meredith relax." He chuckled and took her hands into his "You'll be fine."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she gulped "You don't want to date a while or see if this is even going to work like this between us?"

"I already know it'll work." He smiled "I want you beside me when I wake up in the morning, and I want to know that you're legally required to be there."

"Yeah, yeah." She mumbled.

"Wow, you are really nervous." He frowned as he watched her pace "Is getting married that big of a deal to you?"

"No." she gulped "But yes, it's not the marriage Derek it's the wedding. It's the standing in front of a stained-glass window of jesus and seeing him point a finger at me knowing he's say 'very funny you little whore, you think you can honestly wear that white dress in here?'"

"Meredith." He chuckled and grabbed her, he pulled her into his arms and looked deeply into her eyes "Breathe."

"I'm worried Derek." She whispered, "I'm worried you'll wake up one day and realize that I'm not good enough for you."

"News flash." He smirked "I just broke up with a girl at the altar, had to apologize to her entire family, duck a punch from her father and hear enough curse words for a lifetime…you think I'd do that for a girl that I thought might not be good enough for me? No. So stop worrying."

"You know what really releases the tension for me?" she raised her brow "Works like a charm every time."

"Meredith." He gasped "We're in a church! You want to have sex in a church?" she stared incredulously back at him "HOT!"

She moaned into his kiss as he smothered her lips with his, his hands wrapped around her waist and slid up her shirt as he nudged her back to the desk in the small room. She reached for his belt buckle just as the door opened and they both ripped apart to see two harsh glares.

"Derek Shepherd!" Kathleen scolded "Keep it in your pants, at least until after the wedding."

"I guess this'll have to wait." He sighed into Meredith's hair "I'll see you at the altar."

"Ok." She gulped "See ya."

Derek left with a swift slap on the back of the head from Jenny. They shut the door and held up a long white dress bag with a smile.

"It's not white," Kathleen said, "But it's pretty."

"That's actually perfect."


	21. Together We Have It All

**_Chapter 21: Together We Have It All_**

"Are you ready for this?" Jenny asked with a smile as she looked at her soon to be sister in-law

"Yeah." Meredith nodded nervously "Yeah I guess so."

"Stop looking like you're about to plunge into a shark tank." Kathleen giggled "It's just Derek, your Derek."

"But…but this is a church, filled with lots of people, and I'm not even Catholic, I'm not anything."

"Derek asked the priest, actually he did a little persuading." Jenny snickered "But they changed the vows a little."

"I…I…" Meredith took a deep breath.

"What is it?" Kathleen asked, "Do you not want to do this?"

"I do." Meredith whispered, "But I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle."

"Oh." She mumbled "Well who would you want to walk you down the aisle?"

"Derek." She said, "I'd always thought Derek would walk me down the aisle if that day ever came."

"But Derek's the groom." Jenny laughed "He can't."

"Yes he can." Kathleen smiled "I'll go get him."

Meredith wrung her hands together as Kathleen opened one of the doors to the church and walked down the aisle, everyone watched her nervously as she went up to the alter. Derek looked nervous as she approached him, she leaned into him and whispered a few sentences into his ear and his nervousness turned into amusement. He grinned and nodded, then followed Kathleen down the aisle.

"Hi." She breathed as he reached the back of the church "I realize this is very unconventional or not traditional, but it's the only way I'm going to get down that aisle."

"Why's that?" he smirked.

"Because." She sighed "the little girl inside of me is all over the place today. I don't know where the confident snarky bitch went but I need someone…" she gulped "Someone to hold my hand, and I want it to be you."

He smiled "You look beautiful." He breathed.

They started the music, she giggled when she heard the piano playing the chords to Stairway to Heaven. Jenny and Kathleen walked down the aisle with newly revised bouquets and a change of dress. Derek offered her his arm and she smiled warmly as she took it. They walked down the aisle side by side, smiling at the guests who seemed to find the untraditional event amusing enough. They reached the steps and started to walk up them, but on the second one Meredith's dress swept under her foot and she slipped. Derek swooped an arm around her and caught her quickly.

"You never were very graceful about falling." He chuckled.

"It always caught your attention didn't it?" she asked

"Yes." He smiled "Yes it did."

"Shall we begin?" the priest sighed "Or will there be any other distractions."

"I think we've stalled enough already." Derek sighed "Begin please."

"Dearly beloved." He said again "We are gathered here today to witness the holy union of these two people. Derek and Meredith, have you come here freely any without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"Yes." Derek smiled.

"If barging in here and killing the last wedding wasn't enough of a proof of that I don't know what would be." Meredith snickered.

"Mer." Derek whispered "You only have to say yes."

"Oh." She gulped "Yes."

There were a few giggles in the crowd and the bridal party as the priest shook his head and continued.

"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church."

" I, Derek, take you, Meredith, to be my wife." He smiled "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Meredith gulped as the priest and Derek waited for her to say her vow. She looked incredulous and nervous.

"Just say the same thing." Derek whispered, "Only backwards."

"Oh." She whispered with a nod "I, Meredith, take you, Derek, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." Derek smiled and nodded that she'd done a good job.

"What God has joined, let man not divide!" the priest called out as he crossed between them "Let us have the rings."

Meredith's hands clamped down around Derek's as more nerves set in, her eyes grew wide, to which Derek found amusing.

"Don't worry." He smirked "You're covered."

He pulled out a familiar platinum solitaire ring, with a platinum band to go with it. She frowned, "How did you…"

"I dug through your bag." Jenny mumbled "Sorry."

Meredith rolled her eyes softly as Derek handed her his ring. "Don't worry, it was my dad's."

"Not a handmedown." She asked narrowly.

"Shall we bless the rings now?" The priest sighed.

"Don't choke on your robe Papa priest." Meredith mumbled "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."

Derek smiled warmly and inwardly chuckled.

"Place the ring on her finger as you recite your blessing." The priest instructed.

He slid the rings on her finger and smiled at the perfect way they looked on her hand "Meredith, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

Meredith took the initiative this time and slid the ring on Derek's finger and repeated, only backward "Derek, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

There were a few more snickers and the priest again sighed and rolled his eyes. "By the power vested in me by God and the state of New York I now pronounce that you are man and wife. Derek you may finally kiss your bride." He sighed and then mumbled "And may God be with you."

"God will definitely be with him." Meredith mumbled and smirked at her own inward joke.

Derek chuckled as he pulled her into a soft, deep, meaningful kiss. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as their kiss took on a life of its own, expanding past the clap of their audience. She felt his hands run down her back and get dangerously close to her rear end before she remembered they were in the middle of a church.

"Whoa." She mumbled and broke free "How about you save some of that for later."

Derek flushed a little as he came back down from his high. He took her hand, just as if she'd asked him to, and they walked back down the aisle, hand in hand, arm in arm, preparing for the rest of their lives together.

* * *

**What do you think about their wedding?**


	22. Wedding Night

**_Chapter 22: Wedding Night_**

"Meredith." Derek breathed into her lips. He moved himself on top of her naked body laying sprawled out on the king-sized bed of their honeymoon suite. She moaned into the kiss and felt his hard erection pressing into her thigh. "This is it." He whispered, "No more running and no one else."

"I just want you." She whispered back "Especially right now."

"Mer." He mumbled in a halfway serious tone.

"Derek." She mumbled back "I wasn't marrying you for the hell of it, or because I didn't want anyone else to have you or so we can keep having sex whenever we want. I married you because I want you, because I love you, I'm yours forever now, just yours." He smiled as he looked intensely into her eyes, and finally grasped onto the fact that she was wholly his "Now shut up and fuck me."

"No." he mumbled "I'm not going to fuck you…not tonight."

"For god sakes why not! It's our wedding night."

"I'm going to make love to you." He said in a rough, stern, pulling my big boy pants on voice "I'm going to make love to my wife….over." he groaned as he ground his erection against her wet swollen folds "And over." He did the same, creating a gasping moan from her sweet lips "And over again."

"Oh." She moaned "I like your idea better."

He caressed his palm from her smooth mound up her flat stomach and across her ribs, he cupped her breast in his hand, spooning her nipple up to his mouth and devouring it with his lips. She gasped her pleasure and weaved her fingers into his hair as she arched herself off the bed, offering more of herself up to him. His fingers trailed down her smooth stomach and slipped between her legs and into her hot wet opening.

She moaned and tossed her head back into the pillow as he thrust his fingers in and out of her, then moved his lips to her other breast, giving it the same attention as he did to the other. She cried out as she felt her body plunge into a warm ocean wave, washing over and trembling her body. He caressed her body cavity until her shaking ceased, he looked down into her glossy eyes with triumph.

She yanked his head down, crushing their lips together as he hovered over her and placing himself between her legs. She lifted her hips up to him, causing a soft growl to erupt from his chest before he plunged himself inside of her. They both groaned into the kiss as they felt the connection and slapping of skin. She trembled lightly, feeling the soft hair on his legs rub and brush against her smooth inner thigh as he gently rocked his hips back and forth.

He smoothed his hands over her hair, pulling it back and cradling her head so he could stare into her eyes. She quieted her own selfish desires of being fucked senseless and looked into his eyes. It wasn't long before she was caught up in them, she found herself drowning in his love for her, and feeling it deep inside of her, meeting and connecting with her own immense love for him. The feeling was so strong and powerful she felt herself rise up and peak again, just off the feeling.

She gasped in shock and heard him groan deeply, as if he felt it too, she clamped around him and felt his hips hit harder against her inner thighs, encouraging her to go head, he would follow shortly. She screamed out his name as her body took off into a high that she'd never felt before. Her name cried from his lips as he released into her. Instead of falling next to her he held her tightly as he kept going, not wanting the moment or the night to end, a night they'd both unknowingly wanted for so long.


	23. Honeymoon to Alaska

**_Chapter 23: Honeymoon to Alaska _**

"Christina." Meredith said into her phone as she tried to weave through the crowd at the airport, Derek held tightly onto her hand as they made their way from their terminal "Christina can you hear me?"

"Oh my god!" her friend hissed "Where the HELL have you been? And what kind of friend have I not been in which you feel it's ok not to call me after running across the god damn country to stop a wedding!"

"I'm sorry." Meredith apologized with a grin "I've been a little pre-occupied."

"So, I'm guessing you successfully stopped it."

"Yes." Meredith said, "That assumption would be correct."

"So, how are you now?" Christina asked, "And where are you now?"

"I'm in Alaska." Meredith mumbled.

"What?" Christina mumbled "Sorry didn't hear you right, I thought you said that you were in Alaska?"

"I am." Meredith smirked.

"Why in god's name would you go there!"

"Because." Meredith laughed once "It's where Derek wanted to go on our honeymoon."

"Oh well he's…" she mumbled and them gasped "Did you just say OUR honeymoon?"

"Yes." Meredith said, "I'm on my honeymoon."

"Holy shit fucking damn hell bitch!" Christina yelled into the phone; Meredith winced. "I knew you were wanting to stop a wedding, but to hell if I ever would have thought tying the knot was part of the plan. I'm hurt, I can't believe you didn't call me until after I witnessed such a monumental thing."

"You know I would have if I could have." She said, "But it kind of happened fast."

"Are we having regrets."

"Not one."

"Really?"

"Seriously."

"Wow." Christina sang softly "You're growing up…I'm proud, like a proud mama."

"Shut up." Meredith giggled "I gotta go. We're about to get in a car and head up to our cabin, and I promise you won't hear from me until we get to Seattle."

"Seattle!" she heard both beside her and on the phone.

"Crap." She muttered "Apparently we still have some things to talk about too."

"Good luck with that." Christina chuckled "You can always use sex to get your way you know."

"Yeah but then I suffer too." Meredith mumbled "Talk to you later."

"I'll tell Richard you'll be gone a few weeks." She said, "later bitch."

"See ya cunt."

* * *

Meredith hung up the phone and put it away in her jacket pocket, then looked forward out the windshield of the car, ignoring Derek's incredulous stare as he waited for her to start the conversation. He cleared his throat a couple of times, trying to get her attention and let out a few heavy sighs, she ignored him still.

"Meredith." He finally said.

"I'm not leaving Seattle." She said, "It's not even a question."

"I have a practice in New York." He said, "I can't just pick up and leave."

"Well I'm not leaving Seattle. I worked very hard to get to the position I'm in, so unless you want a trans-continental marriage, I suggest you start looking at mover prices."

"Meredith, try to be more open minded." He muttered.

"Open minded!" she gasped and whipped her head around, he flinched at the outlasting he knew was coming "Me throwing my hesitancy on marriage out the window wasn't open minded? Me coming up here to the middle of nowhere on our honeymoon isn't open minded. Did you getting it off in the airplane on the flight over here cause too much of a head clear? Do you need some off time to get your thoughts together?"

"Meredith don't be rash." He sighed "I was just simply stating that we need to think about what's the better option for us…not you, not me, but us." He frowned "And what's so wrong with the outdoors?"

"Derek you're a boy, and you like fishing and spending a week in a cabin with wild animals walking around sniffing each other's assholes." She muttered "I was born and raised in upstate New York. I've lived in New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco and most recently Seattle. Those are all major, MAJOR metropolitan areas. Not to mention I'm a girl!"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I like having the smell of Starbucks from down the street to wake me up and get my blood pumping in the morning. I like being able to go down the block to Jimmy Choo and buy godly expensive shoes that I'll never in my lifetime wear. I like getting slutty lingerie that I'll have on my body for a few seconds. I think it's great that you want to go fish or whatever, but to be honest, I'm a girl! The only rod I want to fish with is yours in the sack."

His eyes grew dark instantly, they'd had sex almost non-stop since they got married but he still kept coming back for more, it was like drinking salt water, his thirst was never quenched, always increasing.

"Ok." He mumbled "I get it, you're a girl." He let out a heavy sigh as she crossed her arms and stared out the window "Look, we don't need to be fighting like this after less than 48 hours of marriage."

"Agreed."

"Let's just make the most of this." He said, "And maybe we can go to Anchorage in a few days so you can be a girl."

"I don't want to be a girl on my honeymoon." She scoffed "I want us to make bunnies look celibate."

"Ok." He sighed and ground his teeth "Let's not fight…I love you and I want to have a good time."

"Me too." She mumbled. "I love you too."

He smiled and reached over, putting his arm around her and pulling her head to rest on his shoulder. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and sighed with content.

"But I'm still not leaving Seattle."

* * *

**Do you think that Christina reacted appropriately? Who do you think should move, Derek or Meredith? **


	24. Fishing Accident

**_Chapter 24: Fishing Accident_**

"You know," Derek mumbled as he cast a line out into the water "usually when one fishes they hold their pole and watch the line."

He looked over to see her sprawled out in the small fishing boat that they'd rented to fish out of the sound. Her sunglasses were covering her eyes, but he was sure her eyes were closed, her feet up on both sides of the boat, a seat cushion was being used as a pillow. He had to admit, she looked cute.

"I've been holding your pole all morning." She mumbled "And now you're going to complain because I'm not holding another one? How many poles can a girl handle?"

"Just mine will do." He mumbled with a clear of his throat.

She shivered a little as a brisk wind blew over the water "God." She groaned "I could be in a bikini right now."

"I wouldn't protest you getting in a bikini right now." Derek smirked; she lifted her head slightly to raise a brow at him. "You're not happy."

"I'm happy." She said, "I'm happy with you."

"You're a bad liar you know."

"Not nearly as bad as you are." She scoffed "Can I ask you something?"

"We're going to be asking each other things the rest of our lives."

"So yes, I'll take it as a yes."

"Yes." He nodded "What do you want to ask me?"

"How the fuck did Dr. Coach Louis Vuitton agree to come here on a honeymoon?"

"That was the only thing she would let me plan." He said, "She took over the wedding, whining that nothing I wanted she liked."

"So let me guess." She giggled "You were going to take it out on her by bringing her here?"

He shrugged with a grin on his lips.

"And you say I'm a bitch." She grinned "I have to say, I kind of like it a little more now."

"Really?" he grinned.

"I said a little." She sighed "It's still colder than a well diggers ass crack."

"I'm sorry." He sighed "I guess warming each other up is out of the question out here."

Meredith reached up and raised her sunglasses to smirk at him "Have you acquired a case of amnesia since we got married?"

"No."

"Then what the fuck makes you think anything that requires removal of clothing is out of the question with me?"

"Meredith." He gulped "We're out in the open."

"Correction." She grinned "We…are in a boat."

"Which is out in the open."

"We're in a boat, in a sound, on the ocean, and" she glanced around the area "No one else is."

"It's cold."

"So." She smirked as she sat up, then scooted herself to straddle his lap "Lets warm up."

"Meredith." He groaned as he felt her rub her hand over the bulge in his pants.

"Tell your mind to shut the fuck up, your body obviously wants to."

"It's harder than you think."

"Oh." She grinned "I'd like to see that for myself."

"Mer." He protested though his wits were losing.

"Shut up and fuck me Derek." She moaned "Come on, lets rock this boat."

Derek wasn't able to protest again, not mentally or physically. Meredith stood up in front of him and unzipped her jeans, pulling them down and he was faced with her bare parts. He groaned in pain as he struggled to release his erection. She bit her lip to keep from giggling as she waited for him. He grabbed her hips and sat her down on his lap. She was already hot, wet and ready as he entered her swiftly.

She moaned and rocked her hips up and down, back and forth, in circles, bouncing up and down on his balls as if they were her own little bouncy-ball. He growled and slipped his hands up her shirt, grabbing her breasts and groping them softly as he tried to hold off a little bit, at least let ladies go first. They hardly heard the water sloshing against the boat as it rocked back and forth with their movements in the water. He felt her start to tremble and knew it wasn't from the water.

He pushed himself hard and deeply inside of her, bumping her over the edge of her peak of pleasure. She called out his name as she clamped down around him, causing him to spill over as well. He held her on his bare lap, still connected as they caught their breath.

"Holy shit." He panted "I can surely say that our sex life is very adventurous."

"Damn straight it is!" she giggled, then a gasp erupted from her mouth "Oh my god, I have a bite!"

"A bite huh?" he murmured into her neck "If you wanted one why not say so?"

He started to nibble on her neck when she jumped up from his lap, he held onto the sides of the boat as she stumbled forward, pulling her pants up as she rushed to her pole. He finally put it together as she started to reel her line in. She grinned with delight and glanced at him.

"You might want to put your worm away."

Derek scoffed at the comment as he zipped his pants up and went to help her "It's a lot bigger than a worm and you know it."

"I didn't say it was a small one." She giggled. "But didn't want you to lose it as fish bait either, I plan on getting a lot out of it for the next fifty years or so." She grunted as she tried to pull the line in but something heavy was on the other end "Jesus Christ how big do fish get?"

"Well." He chuckled "We are in the ocean….for all we know you've probably caught a shark."

"What!" she gasped and dropped the pole. Derek quickly scooped it up and started reeling the line in.

"Relax, chum." He chuckled "I just said with your personality and luck it was possible."

Meredith's eyes grew wide as she saw something big coming up from under the water, she shrieked as Derek strained to pull a huge fish out of the water, she jumped up on the seat as it flopped into the floor of the boat.

"Shit! It is a shark isn't it!"

"No." he said as he nearly bent over laughing at the expression on her face "It's a halibut fish."

"Not a shark?"

"No." he said still laughing "I'm going to take a stab here and say you've never been fishing."

"Definitely not." She shook her head.

"Well congratulations." He grinned "Your first fish has been caught, and one of the ocean's monsters at that."

"Really." She grinned "My first fish!"

Derek chuckled to himself at the cute little girl face she had as she got excited at her first catch. That is until she started jumping with excitement, no really, jumping.  
"Meredith!" he gasped as he fought to keep his balance.

She gasped as she realized too late what she was doing to the rest of the boat, a medium wave topped it off and Meredith shrieked as the boat tipped over, she plunged into the freezing cold ocean water with a splash and fought meagerly towards the surface, reaching it with a gasp.

"Derek!" she cried out and looked around, not seeing him "Derek!"

She dove back under the water and opened her eyes, they burned but she forced them to stay open anyway, she needed to find Derek. Luckily, she spotted him quickly, but he was sinking, and his body looking lifeless. She panicked and swam to him, grabbing his arm and swimming like hell to the surface. She coughed the salt water out of her lungs and wrapped her arm around his shoulders as she swam towards the shore, thankful that she'd taken the time to be a lifeguard the summers in high school.

"Derek!" she screamed as she drug him onto the beach "Derek wake up!"

She saw a small gash on his forehead, the source of his unconsciousness. She did a few breaths of CPR which got him breathing but he was still out cold.

"Fuck!" she muttered "If this is your idea of a fucking honeymoon mister outdoorsman, it fucking sucks!"


	25. Hospital Trip

**_Chapter 25: Hospital Trip_**

"I do not care what kind of a hospital you think you're running here." Meredith muttered to a tall slender man in a white coat "My husband needs another CT scan if I say he does!"

"Ma'am." He said with a sigh "It's completely unnecessary. It came back clean the last time."

"Is he awake yet?" she muttered and gestured towards the bed "NO! Obviously, you're missing something! And not just in the fucking chart!"

"Questioning my I.Q. isn't going to do anything ma'am."

"Then stop making it look so weak and get some god damn tests done!" she hissed and stomped her food "Fuck! Where's your chief of surgery?"

"Fishing." He sighed.

"Seriously!" she hissed "No wonder this place is so run down! I demand to speak to him at once!"

"The charge nurse can get a hold of him." He pointed down the hall "She's his wife."

"God damn hospital with a fishing chief of surgery who's married to a fucking nurse." She muttered as she walked off "What is this world coming to!"

The doctor sighed and rubbed his hand over his face in frustration as he walked into Derek's room to look over the chart.

"What is she so worked up about?" he mumbled from the bed.

"You're awake." The doctor gasped with relief "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough." He squinted to open his eyes "Who are you?"

"Dr. Irvine." He sighed and flashed a light into his eyes.

"Ow." Derek muttered "There's no need for that."

"Sorry Mr. Shepherd."

"Doctor."

"I know, I just introduced myself as."

"No." he said, "I'm a doctor."

"Oh." He nodded "So your wife wasn't pulling my chain…. she's very bossy by the way."

"Ah." He smirked "Unless she threatens to rip your balls off you haven't seen bossy yet."

"Right." He gulped and felt his testicles retreat a little, "But she doesn't have to be so rude."

"Forgive my wife." He chuckled "She loves me, and she's a world renown surgeon. She's a perfectionist and a pain in the ass. But she only expects the best of people. Don't take it personal, it's just part of her personality to push people to the edge of insanity and sanity."

"And you willingly married this woman?" the doctor raised his brow "It wasn't a drunk Vegas thing, right? I know the judge."

"No." Derek chuckled "I've known her for ten years, underneath her hardcore outer skin she's a very sweet loving girl."

"That son of a bitch!" they heard screamed down the hallway "I cannot fathom a human being on this earth having the luxury of breathing who would put fishing over a man's health and livelihood!"

She marched into the doorway, looking purple with anger, Derek flashed her a wide, drug induced smile.

"Hi baby."

"Derek!" she gasped and rushed over to the bed "Oh god, you're awake."

"Yes." He smirked "God is awake."

"Oh don't you dare try to be a smartass with me now!" she muttered "Do you have any fucking clue how much you scared me! Do you have any idea how freaked out I was… how far I had to drag your knocked out cold ass to shore, and you're not a light person thank you very much? Not to mention you were soaking wet and I.."

"Meredith!" he chuckled and grabbed her arm, yanking her into him "I'm sorry."

"Oh god." She sniffled as she fought with all her might to fight off her tears "No, I'm sorry. I was the one rocking the boat."

"As if I protested it." He smirked "I love you."

"I love you too." She said "But I'm glad you're ok, because now I can kill you."

"I thought you wanted to spend the next fifty years with me?"

"It'll be a long slow death."

"Well why don't we start it in Seattle, I'd like to try and enjoy the rest of my honeymoon with you."

"Seattle?" she frowned "How hard did you hit your head? I thought you wanted to stay in New York."

"I've been rather selfish." He said, reaching up to caress the side of her face "And I know how hard you've worked to get where you're at. So, the least I can do is give up my boring practice and cave a little."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"Besides, I have a chief of surgery race to win."

"Ha!" she laughed "You really must have hit your head if you think you're going to win."

He snickered as he pulled her in for a warm sloppy kiss. They heard a throat clear behind them and turned to see the doctor looking embarrassed.

"I suppose you want to discharge now?"

"Absolutely." Meredith muttered "We need to get as far away from this sham, half-ass of a.."

"Meredith." Derek muttered. She pressed her lips together and sighed.

"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you." She stood up and turned to Derek "I'll be back with the papers in a minute."

She walked out with a stomp and huff "Was that her nice side?" the doctor asked.

Derek smiled with pride and adoration, "Yep."


	26. We Heard the News

**_Chapter 26: We Heard the News_**

"My charts from last week." Meredith ordered out as she approached the nurses station, fresh out of surgery. The nurse behind the desk snapped her head up with worry.

"Dr. Grey!" she gasped "You're back."

"No shit." She sighed "Charts please."

"I um..." she stuttered then nodded and turned to grab a sloppy stack of charts from the shelf "Here."

Meredith nodded with a scrunched brow, was she really all that mean to the nurses. She had her moments where she went off on them, but she had them with everyone. She flipped through the first chart and quickly realized why the nurse seemed so reluctant to hand them over.

"Who did these?" she said through her teeth, in the most polite voice she could muster.

"Um, Dr. Robbins and Dr. Yant I believe."

"And who was supervising them?"

"Um… uh." She stuttered.

"Who." Meredith growled "Was supervising them."

"No one was really." She mumbled.

Meredith pursed her lips and inhaled a deep breath through her nostrils. She saw two interns turn the corner laughing and chalanting about something menial. She put her hand on her hip and gave them a tight, full tooth smile as they looked up. Both their feet skidded to a stop and eyes flooded with terror as they stared at her. She stuck out her finger and waved them over with it.

"D…d…Dr. Grey." Robbins stuttered "I didn't know you were back."

"Oh?" she raised a brow "And did you decide to take a damn vacation as well? Did you have fun? Did you enjoy your time off?"

"We didn't have any time off." Yant shook her head

"Hmm." Meredith frowned "Then explain please." She muttered and dropped the large stack of charts at their feet, they jumped "As to what exactly you would call THESE."

"Charts." Robbins mumbled.

"Wrong!" she growled "Those are coloring books! Those are art files of a preschool teacher! Those are definitely NOT charts!"

"Damn." Yant whispered "Someone hasn't gotten laid in a while."

Meredith pressed her lips together and let out a very fake and flat laugh "Really, is my sex life any concern of yours. And does it have anything to do with this SHIT work you're doing for me? MAYBE you wouldn't like to get paid for a while Dr. Yant! Maybe you'd like to be down in the nursery helping them finger-paint pictures for all the sick kids! Because you OBVIOUSLY aren't all with it are you, and I'm sick and tired of your…" she came to a mumble as something down the hall caught her eye. It was an elderly gentleman in a wool vest and gray curls, she frowned as he waved at her "Dad?"

The interns turned their heads as he swiftly walked up the hallway "Meredith!" he smiled "I thought I heard yelling this way, sounded just like your mother. I wasn't sure if I was to run and hide or run on over."

"Um, Dad." She blushed "What are you doing here?"

"Well I heard the big news." He smiled.

"You did?" she looked shocked.

"Well yes, it was in the paper."

"Paper." She frowned "I never put anything in the paper."

"Well someone did, and it's such big news I'm so happy for you darling." He glowed and threw his arms around her, pulling her into a suffocating embrace. She gasped for breath and saw the interns snicker as they whispered something to each other, she glared.

"You two!" she muttered "Fix those charts stat! And don't think for a second this is over!"

"Yes Dr. Grey." They nodded. Scooped up the charts and turned down the hallway.

"So where is this husband of yours?" he asked, "I'd like to meet this son of mine."

"Son in-law." She corrected "And please don't put him on a pedestal Dad, he's got a floating ego as it is."

"But I still seem to walk just fine." She heard behind her and turned to shoot a narrow look.

"How long have you…" she mumbled then rolled her eyes "You know what, I don't care."

"Derek!" Thatcher chuckled as he stuck out his hand "Welcome to the family! And I have to say that I'm quite impressed you were able to soften my daughters heart enough to get her to marry. I was beginning to worry."

"Dad." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"We must catch up." Thatcher smiled "Lunch anyone?"

"Absolutely." Derek smiled.

"Actually I…" Meredith started to say.

"Would be glad to join us too." Derek said through his teeth, giving her a 'please don't leave me alone' look.

"Sure." She nodded "I just need to check on a patient. I'll be right back."

"Alright." They nodded.

Meredith turned down the hallway and tried to clear her head. She walked towards the elevators, where her patients room was. She heard the ding of the doors opening and heard another familiar voice that caused the hair on the back of her neck to rise on end. She looked wide eyed to confirm it and spun around to Derek, waving her arms in front of her.

"Hide, hide!" she hissed "Hide him now!"

He frowned at first but then saw over Meredith's shoulder what was causing her to act so panic stricken. His eyes widened and he knew he needed to get Thatcher out of sight.

"You know Thatcher." He said placing his hand on the man's shoulder and leading him around the corner "I think Meredith knows her way to the cafeteria, we should go ahead and start."

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, but not a long enough one. "Well." She heard in a soft but harsh voice behind her "I know you're busy, but you could have at LEAST called your mother to tell her that you got married."

"Mom." She said through a bearing smile as she turned around "How was your flight?"

"Unnecessary."

"Then why make the trouble?"

"I read in the paper that you got married." She frowned "I had to come see for myself." She lifted Meredith's left hand "Very lovely, he did a good job."

"Thank you."

"I meant on the ring." She snubbed.

"Mother you didn't have to come all the way out, you could have called."

"Why?" she scoffed "So you can ignore my voice mails for a month?"

"You know I'm busy, I'm a surgeon just as you were."

"Well you will make time to catch up with me, and I want to see your husband." She ordered "I'll be in your office; I expect you not to make me wait long."

"Fine." Meredith said through her teeth.

She sighed as she watched her mother prance off down the hall. She closed her eyes and rested her hand on top of her head where she grabbed a handful of hair and tugged. This day was already starting off shitty, and now she was going to have to play referee between her parents. Oh joy.

* * *

**What do you guys think of the arrival of Ellis and Thatcher?**


	27. Parental War

**_Chapter 27: Parental War_**

"Ok I want reports every hour." Meredith instructed the resident that was helping her push her patient into the post op recovery room "You are to sit with him and if he has so much as a hiccup you will page me."

"Sit with him?" she asked with a whine to her voice "But that means I don't get to go anywhere else."

"And where else would you be going?" Meredith raised her brow "To the mall to do a little shopping? To the salon to get a haircut and massage? Or maybe heading down to Disneyland to take a dip down splash mountain…"

"I…Um.."

"You're a doctor!" Meredith snapped "You're at work! This is what work consists of, you lazy little.."

"Meredith?" she heard behind her and sighed, shooting her resident a glare before turning around and smiling.

"Dad." She said "I was just coming to look for you."

"Well here I am."

"You know you're not supposed to be wandering the halls of the hospital right?" she asked as she walked to the door "You're supposed to be in the waiting area with all the other civilians."

"Technically I am a doctor too."

"A doctor of research Dad." Meredith laughed as they walked down the hallway "You've never cut into anyone."

"Is that why you and your mother are so cold?" he asked "To keep from getting too attached to the people you might have die on you? Well that makes sense. But why scream at every one?"

"Mistakes are what kill people dad." Meredith sighed "And I work very hard to not have anyone die on my watch. So, I get upset when people make mistakes, especially common sense."

"I still don't think you need to be so hard on them, but if it works for you so be it." He said, "Just know that outside the hospital husbands are not your residents."

"Derek knows me Dad." She said, "We're different than you and mom."

Thatcher nodded "Well I came to see if I could get you a coffee?"

"I'd love one." She smiled "Just black with three shots of espresso."

Thatcher nodded and walked off toward the coffee cart. She turned the corner to head down the hall then skidded to a stop as she heard her mother's giggle and looked in horror to see her leaning into the Chief of Surgery office as she laughed at something he said.

"Shit." She hissed. "I feel like I'm twelve years old again."

"Hey." She heard beside her with a smile. She looked over at Derek narrowly "What did I do?"

"I thought she was gone?"

"Huh?" he looked at Ellis and sighed "Oh, I thought she was gone too."

"Obviously not!"

"Ok," he frowned "So she's not gone, what's the problem?"

Meredith opened her mouth to yell when a figure turned the corner carrying two coffees, his eyes went immediately to the laughter.

"Ellis?" he mumbled. She looked up at Thatcher and glared.

"Thatcher." She scoffed "I thought the air was stale in here, makes perfect sense now."

"How dare you." He muttered as he glanced at Richard "After the hell you put me through…"

"It's over Thatcher." She glared "It's been over! When will you get the point!"

"Are you happy!" He yelled "Look at how our daughter has turned out because of YOUR poor example!"

"My daughter turned out to be a very prestigious woman because of me!"

"Oh god." Meredith groaned as she rubbed a hand over her face and sighed.

Her parents went into an all-out argument and she tried to tune it out but her stress level was rising by the second. Derek watched, looking back and forth between the arguing ex's and his wife. He understood now just a glimpse of what she'd seen all through her childhood and why she wanted them apart so desperately. The stress lines on her beautiful face seemed to anger him, not a little, but a lot.

"That's it." He muttered and marched forward.

Meredith snapped her head up and watched as Derek grabbed each of their arms. And turned them around to face him.

"Stop it!" he muttered "You are both ADULTS! This fighting and bickering has got to stop! If you're so worried about this daughter of yours, just look at what you're doing to her!" he gestured to Meredith who was pinching the bridge of her nose "You two will learn to get along!"

"I don't think so." Ellis scoffed "I can't stand this man; I don't know what I was ever thinking."

"You're no prize yourself!" Thatcher muttered.

"Alright." Derek said through his teeth as he pulled them towards a door "Meredith, get the door!"

She was curious but jumped over and held the door to the on-call room open. Derek pushed them inside and sighed.

"If you won't willingly get along then I'll make you." He said "Learn to get along in the next hour or I'll drive you to the airport myself and you will NOT be welcome back."

"You can't do this!" Ellis scoffed.

"Watch me."

He slammed the door shut and pulled a chair to set in front of it. Meredith grabbed a passing intern and threw him down into the chair.

"Sit boy." She said through her teeth "Move and you'll be scooping up vomit with your bare hands for a month."

He gulped and nodded. Derek put his arm around Meredith's waist as they walked down the hallway. She sighed with a little relief and then stopped and turned to him.

"You really went all cowboy on them."

"Well I finally saw how absurd they were acting." He said, "And how it was hurting you."

"You know I always had a thing for cowboys." She smirked.

"Really?" He grinned, his eyes slowly darkening "I wouldn't have guessed you to be a western kind of girl."

"No but I always wanted to save a horse and ride a cowboy."

Derek groaned just as their pagers both shrieked. He sighed "I'll be keeping this in mind for later."

"I'll wear the hat; you wear the chaps."


	28. It's Natural

**_Chapter 28: It's Natural_**

"Your mother is amazing." Christina glowed as she caught up with Meredith outside the scrub room.

"That's only because you're not her daughter." Meredith sighed. "Speaking of mother… I need to go check on her."

"Check on her? She's a grown woman."

"Who got in a little girl fight." Meredith said, "So Derek went all Indiana Jones on them and locked them in an on-call room until they got along."

"Indiana Jones huh?" Christina smirked "Will he be cracking his whip for you later?"

"I'm the one with the whip remember."

"I'm assuming you'll be getting the trunk out then?"

"That's for me to know and you to not."

"Oh come on." Christina whined "When did we stop telling each other everything?"

"Since my sex life got married."

"Damn you and your fidelity." Christina muttered.

"Hey." Meredith giggled "My fidelity is going to get all dressed up tonight and play sex games, fidelity is hot."

"So you're still ok with the whole single sex partner for the rest of your life then?"

"It's Derek." She said, "He could fuck my brains out and I can still manage to come back for more."

"So much for no details."

"I was speaking figuratively." Meredith said and then sighed "Look it was time…time to stop playing games and grow up. And the only person I want to grow up with is Derek."

"And grow old with."

"Derek will be a very hot old man." Meredith smirked "Which makes me think I should add a cane to the trunk."

"You're really sick and twisted deep down inside you know that?"

"Fully aware." She nodded "There's the room I gotta go."

"Later."

Meredith walked towards the door and noticed something missing. She saw the chair holding the door closed but no person in it. She ground her teeth as the intern walked around the corner sipping on a soda. He stopped rigidly as he spotted her glare.

"What are you doing!"

"I um.." he mumbled "Getting a soda."

"Not what I meant." She muttered "I mean what are you doing out of the chair that I ordered you to sit your ass in! Really Dr. Norbin, I didn't think that sitting on your ass was that hard of a task!"

"It's…it's not." He said "But I was thirsty, and I figured since they weren't going anywhere for a while I could go get a coke."

"What do you mean they're not going anywhere, they're probably clawing at the door by now?"

"Not really." He smirked. Meredith frowned and walked over to the door, reaching for the handle "I wouldn't do that if I were you?"

"Why the fuck…" she started to yell when she heard a soft moan come from the other side of the door. She gulped and pressed her ear to the door and heard it again.

"Oh Thatcher!" Ellis cried out "Oh yes! Yes! Just like that you dirty man!"

"Oh my god." Meredith gasped and jumped back from the door, she landed against a chest and recognized the smell immediately.

"Hey what's going on?" he asked, "I was just about to check on them."

"I'm sure they're fine." The intern grinned and snickered as he walked off.

Derek waited for Meredith to ream him but frowned when he noticed she was still and silent. "Mer?"

"You know how kids usually have a moment." She mumbled "When they walk in on their parents and it practically scars them for life?"

"Yeah." He frowned

"I never had a moment like that." She said, "Not until now..."

"Now?" he asked the question a second too soon and heard a loud moan roll out the door.

"OH THATCHER! GOD YES DON'T STOP!"

"Oh." He said slowly.

"Yeah."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the general vicinity and out of hearing reach. He turned her too him, her expression looking confused and traumatized.

"It's perfectly normal, they're adults. And they're…. making up."

"They've been divorced for 18 years!" she muttered "And god damn if I needed to hear that!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think they would…. get along quite that well." He mumbled, she reached up and smacked his arm "Hey…at least they'll be in a good mood over dinner."

"I'm leaving." She muttered "I'm going to go to the store and buy gummy worms and sing nursery rhymes in hopes it gets the sounds from ringing over and over in my head. You shower them off and try to get them…. dressed or whatever."

"Meredith sex is natural." He sighed "Don't be upset."

"I know sex is natural." She snapped "And I like sex, I love sex, I enjoy sex. But thinking about my parents who are close to 60 going at it like teenagers at the prom…. no."


	29. Dinner with the Parents

**_Chapter 29: Dinner with the Parents _**

"Do you need help with anything?" Derek asked as he walked in the kitchen upon getting home.

"I'm fine." She muttered with a mouthful of food.

Derek frowned as he lifted a jumbo sized back of treats up off the counter to read the label and looked curious as to how it could be almost gone by now.

"Gummy worms?"

"Comfort food." She muttered "You didn't have to hear your parents fuck today so you don't get to protest."

"Meredith." He sighed, she tossed a gummy worm, hitting him between the eyes then stuck her tongue out at him "This is very immature like."

"Am I being a bad little girl?" she asked and backed up to the sink, she propped herself up onto it and spread her legs "Are you going to punish me?"

Derek's eyes darkened and a smile played on his lips as he moved forward and rested between her legs. His lips wrapped softly around hers but quickly picked up on the heat and passion of the kiss. A moan rolled up her throat and into his mouth as his hands fished into her long golden tresses.

They heard the doorbell ring and sighed against each other's lips as they slowly pulled apart.

"Figures they would put a damper on my sex life eventually." She muttered.

"It's only the beginning of the evening." He smirked as they walked to the door together "I was promised hot cowboy sex later, remember?"

"I made mention of it, but I never promised." She smiled "but if you help me make this quick with them, it'll up your odds."

He cleared his throat as he opened the door, Ellis and Thatcher were together, both bright beaming smiles…and they knew exactly what had caused them. Meredith said hello to them before going to set the table as Derek got them drinks.

"Dinner is ready, in case you all are ready to eat." Meredith called from the dining area.

"You didn't um…" Thatcher stuttered "You didn't cook it did you?"

"No." Meredith rolled her eyes "I considered it, but I really don't feel like rebuilding my condo right now."

"Well you'll have to move into a house eventually." Ellis scoffed "An apartment is hardly big enough for a baby."

There was a crashing clang sound as a knife clattered against the floor, Meredith's fists clamped together and she felt short breaths heaving in and out of her chest.

"Well you are having children now am I right?" Ellis asked, "You're married."

"We're talking about it." Derek smiled "But not tonight, how about we all sit?"

Meredith flashed him a wary look of relief as he pulled a chair out for her then sat next to her.

"There is a lot of food here." Thatcher smiled as he looked over the table "It smells delicious."

"Thanks." Meredith smiled through her teeth.

"I'm surprised you can still eat over that economy sized back of gummy worms you had for a snack." Derek scoffed "You must have the stomach of an elephant."

"Meredith's always had an overly healthy appetite." Ellis snickered "When she was little, I was prepared to send her to fat camps every summer but luckily her metabolism is just as over-active as her stomach."

"Yes." Meredith rolled her eyes "Heaven forbid you have an overweight child!"

"I'm a doctor Meredith." Ellis said "I have a certain image to hold up. You know this by now."

"Of course I do mother." Meredith muttered "Learned to be a cold bitch from the best."

"Dinner is delicious!" Derek said before either could say anything else "Wine anyone?"

They all nodded as he filled his and Meredith's glass then handed it down the table.

"So Dad." Meredith mumbled through her glass "You seem relaxed tonight, have a good afternoon?"

"Yeah." He nodded "I had a nice talk with your mom and I guess some of the stress just got blown right out of me."

Meredith spat the wine out of her mouth and showered Derek with merlot. He wiped his face off and handed her the napkin as she coughed to catch her breath.

"Meredith Grey!" Ellis frowned "What has gotten into you today?"

"She's fine." Derek smiled patting her back "She'll be fine, just got a tickle in her throat."

Meredith nodded and looked grateful at him for the cover.

"You take care of her." Thatcher smiled "I find that very comforting."

"She can certainly take care of herself!" Ellis scoffed "I've taught her that much."

"You taught her?" Thatcher argued "What makes you think you get the credit for that! And there's nothing wrong with a man taking care of his wife, not that you would know."

"I never needed anyone to take care of me Thatcher!" she growled "You were overbearing."

"And you were a cold bitch!"

"STOP!"

They all jumped at the screaming voice and six wide startled eyes were on Meredith as she stood up.

"Get out."

"Excuse me?" Ellis frowned.

"Both of you.. get out now." She said "I love the both of you. You both gave me life and did your…well the best you knew how to raise me. But my god!" she ran her hands into her hair and tugged "I can only stand either of you for a day and when you're together the yelling! I hear yelling all day long, I hear patients and interns nagging, I hear nurses whining and I cannot take it any longer so get out! Just get the hell out of my house! Of my hospital! Of my state…GET OUT!"

They both looked at her in shock for a moment before slowly rising to their feet.

"Well." Ellis gulped "if that's how you feel."

"I um…sorry." Thatcher mumbled "I'll call you before I come out next time."

Meredith nodded as they both turned and left the condo. She let out a whooping sigh of relief after they left. An arm wrapped around her waist and she looked over to see Derek's eyes twinkling at her as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"You went all cowgirl on them." He mumbled against her lips, she smiled "It was hot."

"Do you want to go play cowboys and Indians?" she asked with a raise of her brow "Only with minimal clothing involved."

"Just be warned." He smirked "I'm a good shot."

Meredith giggled "I bet you are."


	30. Chief

**_Chapter 30: Chief_**

Derek got paged into the hospital shortly after Thatcher and Ellis left. He was cursing himself of being on-call, but it was duty. He didn't get home until 11 o'clock and Meredith was already fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her up with his…needs, he decided to watch the evening news, maybe it would calm his desires down. He flipped the TV set on and started to drone out, his eyes got heavy and he sighed with satisfaction as the news started to bore him to sleep.

"I thought you were going to wake me?" he heard behind him as a pair of tiny hands rested on his shoulders.

"Sorry." He mumbled "You were asleep, I didn't want to wake you."

"Maybe I wanted to be woken.." she said seductively, he felt something drop in his lap and looked down to see a feather Indian headdress "Chief."

She stepped around the couch and into his view of the tv. His eyes darkened as they slowly scanned up her body, her very naked body. She was naked as a jay bird with exception of the black cowboy had on her head. Her lips pulled up into a smirk.

"If you want to play with me you have to get naked."

He groaned as he stood up and started unbuttoning his pants "Did I ever tell you how much I love your games?"

"Once or twice." She giggled as the rest of his clothes went flying across the room. He reached for her, but she slapped his hands away "Uh-uh-uh! You're forgetting something."

He frowned but then remembered she'd dropped something in his lap. He smirked as he turned around and grabbed the headdress and pulled it onto his head.

"Better?"

She smirked and pushed him back onto the couch "Call me Custer."

"Mmm." He moaned as he pulled her down onto his lap "Am I Sitting Bull?"

"Only if you give me a pow-wow."

He groaned painfully as he pulled her lips onto his, he kissed her with fire and passion as his hands moved up her bare sides and then cupped around her perfect breasts. His thumbs teased her sensitive nipples and gained a soft moan from her as he devoured her tongue. Her hips rocked against his and he could feel her wetness dripping out of her and onto his full erection. He moved a hand down her stomach and slipped two fingers between her swollen folds. She gasped and threw her head back as she moaned loudly.

He grinned with success and tilted her back against the length of the couch as he stood on his knees, he held her hips in an elevated position as he pummeled himself inside of her. She cried out his name as he continued to pound himself inside of her. He felt her clamp down around him and start to tremble, her fluids shot around him as she dropped off her peak.

He pulled her back onto him as he sat on the couch to where she was straddling his hips and smirked at her glossy eyes and lazy smile. He gently slapped her bare ass and grinned.

"Ride 'em cowgirl."

She gasped and then giggled as she rocked her hips up and down, gently at first but then picking up rhythm and moving back and forth, side to side and twisting, she pounded herself up and down his shaft and watching him groan with delight as his head fell back against the couch. He felt himself building up quickly but wanted her to cum for him again.

"Mer wait." He gasped as he felt his cock start to tremble inside of her. "Stop..too soon."

"No." she smirked as she rocked harder against him "Shoot me with your arrow Chief."

He tried with all his might to hold off but she was evil and had ways… he cried out to her as he felt his own release shoot inside of her.. When he finished, she slowed her hips to a stop and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, leaning in and kissing him with soft, tender lips.

"That was hot." He panted.

"It was." She giggled…"But Derek?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Just so you know…this is the only chief hat you'll ever wear."


	31. Babies?

_**Chapter 31: Babies?**_

"You paged?" Derek asked as he walked up to the nurses' station.

"Yes." Meredith nodded "I have a surgery in fifteen minutes."

"Ok."

"I thought you could assist."

"You need help?"

"God no!" she scoffed "I'm fully capable of doing it with my eyes closed, I thought you would enjoy it however."

"Will you ever admit that you need help."

"Of course I will." She smirked "When I need help."

"Which will be when?"

"When horses give birth to kittens."

"That's what I thought." He smirked "Which reminds me."

"Horses giving birth to kittens reminds you of something?"

"Well, something that your mother said."

"Oh Derek please." She snorted "Don't ever take anything my mother said seriously."

"Just a talk that I said we'd had…that we really didn't have."

"Stop dancing Derek, for starters you're not good at it."

"I am a very fine dancer."

"Fine yes." She said, "But my definition is different than yours."

"So the talk." He said, she looked at him expectantly "The talk about children."

"Oh." Her face fell "We don't need to talk about children."

"We don't?" he asked.

"We're not having any."

"What." He scoffed "As in not now?"

"No, not ever."

"Why the hell not!"

"Derek seriously, I just got used to the idea that I'm a wife… no way in hell will I ever be a good mother."

"We've had this talk before, you know how I feel."

"And you know how I feel so why are we even discussing it." She asked, "Did you honestly think that we'd just get married and have babies, that I would be some housewife overnight, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?"

"You don't have to be a housewife, you know this. Your mother was…"

"A horrible mother, I'd rather not put a baby through that."

"I know that's not the reason Meredith. You know it too."

"Fine." She sighed and turned to him "Let's just entertain the thought for a second here. I'm 28 years old. I'm in the high-risk category for pregnancy and you know why. So, pregnancy in general could have a plethora of complications for me, and there's no way I'm taking any down time, I can't with my job. Derek, kids deserve to have young, healthy, and energetic parents who aren't at risk of getting sick again.

"So, your answer is no."

"No to babies and to surgery."

"But you asked me."

"And you pissed me off!"

She turned and stormed off, he stood there shaking his head and sighed.

"Just think about it ok?"

Her response was to show him a finger. He rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself. he'd get her to crack eventually. After all he did get her to marry him.


	32. Surprises at Seattle Grace

**_Chapter 32: Surprises at Seattle Grace_**

Derek heard his pager sound off and muttered to himself as he was hoping to slip into Meredith's surgery anyway. It was harder to fight a person off when you're supposed to stay sterilized. He, however, had to go down to the ER instead.

"You paged me?" He asked a passing ER nurse.

"Oh." She mumbled "They weren't supposed to page you yet. Your trauma isn't here yet."

"How is it that you know I'm supposed to be here at all?" He scoffed "What neurosurgeon on board assed the patient having a head injury?"

"The paramedic that said his head went through the windshield doctor."

Derek nodded but still wore his frown. He heard a ruckus of noise coming from one of the curtains. Someone was throwing a fit and shrieking as they tossed bed pans and emesis basins onto the floor. He turned to ask the nurse what was going on, but she'd already vanished. He walked over to the curtain just as a plastic pitcher got tossed through the curtain opening and over his head as he ducked. He felt irritated already, this wasn't how you acted in a hospital! He ripped the curtain open and was a little caught off guard to see such a little person kneeling on the bed.

"Hi." Derek said.

"Are you another stupid moron who works here!" she demanded. Derek frowned as he tilted his head to look her over. She had long waist length blonde curls that were tossed around in a messy manner and she was stick and bones skinny. She glared at him through her long lashes "Answer me!"

"Wow." Derek scoffed "You're a little angry to be so young."

"I'm nine." She muttered "I'm not young."

"Yeah, well I'm 29 and I'm not old." He retorted. Her eyes widened a little "What, I'm not."

"It's not old." She nodded "It's ancient."

"Hey." He scoffed as he folded his arms in front of him, there was something about her that he liked already, she had spitfire "I'm not pushing a walker yet."

"At least you have your looks going for you." She rolled her eyes dramatically.

Derek felt offended, and from a nine-year-old, which felt even more offensive "So what brings you here to the ER? Are you hurt or lost?"

"Neither." She muttered "I'm here looking for my stupid mother."

"Your mother is a patient?"

"No." she glared "My real parents died last week."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's their fault, my dad drives like a maniac."

"So they died in a car accident?"

"Genius!" she scoffed, Derek frowned as he suddenly got hit with a feeling of de-ja-vue "So, this social worker thought of the great idea of tracking my birth mother down and seeing if she miraculously would want me again before throwing me into the system."

"You're adopted?" he raised his brow and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Duh!"

"So, where is this social worker now?" he asked, looking around and noticing that she was all alone.

"He followed a nurse off somewhere." She rolled her eyes "And I don't think he was looking for directions."

"Ah." Derek nodded, "So what is your mother supposed to be doing here?"

"She works here." She scoffed "Probably a janitor or candy striper or something. Can you point me to where the broom closet is?"

"I can't do that."

"Oh so everyone here is stupid then."

"I am a brain surgeon thank you very much."

"And people let you operate?" she scoffed "They should really get to know you first."

Derek found himself chuckling, he leaned over, placing his hands on his thighs for support as he looked her in the eyes. Her bright greenish blue eyes that were incredibly familiar to him, eyes that he loved waking up to every morning.

"I'll take you to your mother."

"You don't even know who she is!"

"Oh." He smirked "I'll bet you a hundred dollars I know exactly who she is."

Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she gasped "Like on Benjamin Franklin?"

"Or two Ulysses S. Grants." He smirked. She grinned wide and stuck her hand out to him.

"Deal!"


	33. Arabella Grace

**_Chapter 33: Arabella Grace_**

"This doesn't happen." Meredith muttered as she marched alongside a patients bed while they wheeled him to ICU "Not to me. I don't lose patients on the table."

"It happens to everyone Dr. Grey." A resident spoke up "It's life."

"It's not my life!" she shot back "People don't die on me."

"If it's their time, it's their time. It's what God wants."

"I AM GOD!" she yelled "And I say no one dies under my hands."

They wheeled him into the ICU room and the nurses took over in hooking him up to the machines. Meredith stood in the doorway as the Resident tried to slip by.

"Where are you going?"

"Um."

"Nowhere." Meredith muttered "You are going to stay here and watch him like a hawk! When he breathes, you breathe. You will stay at his bedside until he opens his pretty brown eyes, and if you leave or if he dies, you'll be looking for a new job in the morning, got it Dr. Peterson?"

"I um." She stuttered "Yes Dr. Grey."

Meredith nodded stiffly before turning around and walking up to the nurses station. She was trying to work on her people skills, but her patients mattered more. And losing them was not something that she did often. She knew that life called sometimes but not on her watch. She dropped the chart on the countertop and rubbed her eyes.

"Hey."

She looked up and softly glared with a sigh.

"What."

"Not in a good mood? After such an intriguing surgery?"

"My patient coded three times on the table and is on the verge of a fourth."

Derek's face dropped. He knew that Meredith didn't like losing patients, she took it more personal than most doctors.

"I'm sorry."

"He's alive for now." She sighed "What do you need?"

"Um. Interesting morning for me."

"That's great, good for you."

"Your daughter is here."

"God." She muttered and shook her head "You really don't know when to stop do you! I tell you no kids and you just push and push and push.."

"Meredith." He said in a more serious tone "Your daughter is here."

"What are you talking about." She frowned "I don't have a…."

"No!" they heard behind them and turned to see a skinny girl with unruly blonde hair looking pissed off "No that's not her! She's a janitor or a maid or something, she gave me up because she couldn't take care of me, not because she didn't want me! No she's not a doctor!"

Derek opened his mouth to call after her but she turned and darted down the hall. He turned to Meredith's numb shocked expression.

"Mer?"

"My daughter is here." She whispered.

"Yes." He said, "And you should probably go talk to her."

Meredith gulped, she heard her pager shriek and snapped out of her trance to look at it. She felt her head cloud with confusion and worry. She looked at Derek with a pleading and remorseful expression.

"I can't." she whispered as tears started to brim her eyes, she held up her pager "I…I just can't."

Derek sighed heavily as he saw her jog off down the hallway. He turned to head to where the little girl had run to. He found her around the corner, leaning up against the wall crying. He gulped and lifted her to her feet by her arms then opened a door to a conference room and ushered her in.

"Shhh!" he soothed her "I know that didn't go well but no tears."

"I can't help it." She muttered "I can't believe she's a doctor! I'm just so mad!"

"Why does that make you mad?"

"Because she could have kept me, she could have taken care of me and she didn't! She just didn't want me."

"That's not true." Derek said handing her a tissue "She just couldn't take care of you at the time you were born. Nine years ago, she was an intern and wasn't making hardly anything at all."

"How do you know?"

"Because." He gulped "Your mother…well she's my best friend. And now she's my wife."

"Oh." She widened her eyes and scanned his appearance "Are you my dad?"

"No." he mumbled "But if she was able to keep you, I would be the closest thing to it." He smiled and brushed a strand behind her ear "I was the first to hold you."

"You were?"

"Yes." He smiled "I was there for your mom. And it was very hard for her to give you up. But she didn't think she could take care of you, so she made the difficult decision to give you to someone who could take care of you. It was very self-sacrificial of her. You should know that she loved you." She sniffled but pressed her lips together "What's your name?"

"Arabella Grace Rykert."

Derek smiled "Your mom was going to name you Arabella, if she was going to keep you."

"I always knew I hated my name." she muttered "I go by Bella or Grace."

"Bella." Derek sighed "This isn't easy for either of you."

"I hate her."

"You don't know her."

"So." She shrugged "I still hate her."

"You know…when I was a kid. We had this mailman, and he was creepy. He never smiled and he looked kind of mean. So, my friends and I would always make fun of him. But then one day, when I was home alone, he came to the door with a package. And I learned that his name was Ernie, he was 47 years old and retiring the next year. He had three children and six grandchildren. And he was born with partial paralysis to his face…giving him the ability to not be able to smile."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you shouldn't hate people before you get to know them." He answered "We're all people. And people are human. Get to know your mom first, then you can hate her. I think you'll be surprised at how much you have in common with her."

"Right." She scoffed "What could I possibly have in common with her?"

"This hair." He smirked "Your mom always had unruly blonde hair. The color of your eyes is hers, your very petite frame, just like hers. And that spitfire temper of yours…. it's exactly like hers."

She twisted her lips together in thought and then let out a soft sigh.

"Derek?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Thanks for bringing me in here… I hate crying in public."

Derek smiled. "I know."

* * *

**Well, what do y'all think?**


	34. What Do You Want to Do?

**_Chapter 34: What Do You Want to Do?_**

Meredith stood in the room after working on him for an hour. She fought her burning tears as she stared at the buzzing machine. She took a breath and held it.

"Time of death, 15:47."

"I'm sorry Dr. Grey." The resident apologized meekly.

Meredith brushed past her and out of the room. She tore her scrub cap off and held her breath as she walked around the corner and up the narrow hall of offices. She opened the door to hers and shut it behind her. After sitting down in the large leather chair, she flipped the lamp on and placed her elbows on the desk as she buried her face in her hands.

Too much was happening today and though she was a strong person, she was finding difficulty in sorting it all out. First is first, how was she going to tell her patient's family that her simple complex procedure had killed him. They sought her out for her patient mortality rate, and she'd failed.

Now her daughter was here. A girl that she hadn't seen in nine years. Sure, she'd thought about the child over the years, but she was happy that she was well taken care of. So, why is she here? Did something happen? Did the adoptive parents not want her anymore? And how in the world could she take care of her, she could barely take care of herself.

She felt a warm tear roll down her cheek and she sniffled. She yanked her desk drawer open and pulled out a metal hole puncher, then dug into her pocket and retrieved a penny. She punched a hole in the center of it and set it on the desk. She stared at it a minute and gulped a sob down, then reached behind her neck and unclasped a small gold chain. Her hands shook with emotion as she laced the penny onto the chain. There were now five pennies on the chain….

"What's that for?" she heard in a small voice across the room.

She jumped a little as she saw a little person standing up from the couch in the back of the room, she didn't even notice her there. She eyed the odd piece of jewelry with curiosity as she stepped toward the desk.

"Um." Meredith sniffled and held the necklace up "This is what I wear to remind me to do the best job I can. It reminds me not to take my job lightly, that I have lives in my hands. And like the coins, they're worth something to somebody."

"Why pennies?"

"They're lucky." She said, "You never hear of people having a lucky quarter or a lucky nickel."

"No." Bella shook her head. Her and Meredith looked up and stared at each other for a long minute, Maddy reached for a box on her desk and nudged it to Meredith.

"Thanks." Meredith said as she grabbed a tissue and wiped her stray tears "I hate crying."

"Me too."

"So." Meredith raised her brow "You know who I am?"

Maddy nodded, "You know who I am."

"Yes." Meredith gulped. They stared at each other again for a long silent moment, each taking the other again.

"This is awkward." Bella frowned.

"Yes." Meredith let out a single giggle "It is."

"I don't know if I should be happy or sad…I'm mad."

"That's understandable." Meredith nodded "You should feel mad."

"I should?" Bella asked.

"I would be mad if I were you." Meredith said "You're probably thinking that I was selfish, that I gave you up because I didn't want to take care of you. I would be mad too."

"Is that why you gave me up?"

"I wanted to take care of you, a part of me did." Meredith replied "But I was too selfish, I would have been a bad mother. You would have been in daycare a lot since I was an a freshmen in college. So, my single selfless act as a mother was to give you to someone who could cuddle with you and love you and be there when you took your first step, when you said your first word. I was selfish, but not so selfish that I didn't have your best interest in mind."

"Ok." She nodded as she processed the information "What about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"My adoptive parents are dead." She said "It's you or the system."

Meredith let out a sigh as she folded her hands together and leaned against the desk.

"What do you want to do?"

"What?"

"When I was your age, no one ever asked me what I wanted to do." She said "So, what do you want to do?"

"Can I get a job and an apartment?"

"Legally you can't. Not until you're 18. It would be hard to find an apartment complex who will let you live there by yourself."

"That sucks."

"Any other ideas?"

"Maybe I could join the circus or something."

"You really want to join the circus?"

"I don't know." She shrugged "I just want to be somewhere I'm wanted."

Meredith felt her cold bitchy heart crack a little. Sure, she didn't feel like a mother, or anything close to it. She thought that Bella was in good hands, but those hands died. And this is life took her around, she had to do something. Because if she did nothing, she would be doing the same thing she feared all along. Of being a detached mother like her own.

"You're wanted." Meredith mumbled "I'm still swallowing the idea that you're here. I think we both need time. But don't…. don't think you're not wanted."

"Well." She shrugged "That Derek guy is pretty nice."

"Yes he is." She smiled.

"And pretty hot for an old guy."


	35. You're Not A Mother

**_Chapter 35: You're Not A Mather _**

"What room is this?" Bella asked.

"This is the conference room." Meredith said as she ushered the girl in, she looked around and sighed "I um. I don't know what to give you. I'm sure you're already over color crayons?" Bella curled her lip up in detest "Right."

"What are we doing in here anyway?"

"I need to go find Derek." She said, "And you can't be wandering the halls, I'll be right back so just…just stay here and…look at stuff."

"How motherly of you." Bella muttered under her breath.

Meredith frowned and heard a knock on the glass, she turned to see Christina and breathed a sigh of relief. She gave Bella a glance, but she was already wandering around the room. She turned and walked to the door, opening it and standing in the doorway. Christina was looking curiously over her shoulder.

"What's with the kid, is she lost?" Christina asked, "I know you're not babysitting."

"Um." Meredith sighed "There's no right way to say this, and you can't be mad at me for not telling you but…I have a daughter."

Christina tipped her head back in laughter but saw that Meredith wasn't laughing, she widened her eyes as she glanced in the room again.

"You're serious."

"I got pregnant my freshman year of college, actually a month before I started." Meredith mumbled "And I…I couldn't have a baby. There was no way I could be a mom. So, I gave her to a nice family." Then, I continued on with my education; I even tested out of college classes and received my bachelors two years early. Finally, I went to med school, came here, and that's that.

"So, where is this family now?"

"Dead."

"Dead?"

"As in six feet under, dead."

"Ok." Christina frowned "So why did they bring her to you?"

"I'm her mother."

"Meredith." Christina snorted "You're not a mother."

"Christina."

"No." Christina shook her head "You are not a mother. You are Dr. Meredith Grey, neurosurgeon god. You eat interns for lunch, and you work insane hours. You think that just because social services want to dump her off here instead of deal with her themselves that you can be a Mommy overnight? No. You are not a mother."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Meredith muttered. "And fuck you too."

"You know the door is open right?" Bella called out "I can hear you."

Meredith gulped and took a step out the door and closed it behind her. "Shit."

"See, you can't go a day without sounding like a sailor, you think that's good for a kid to hear?"

"I don't know."

"Think about it Meredith, think about what's best for the kid." Christina sighed as her pager went off "I gotta run."

Meredith stood there and thought about what Christina said as she watched Bella flip through a medical book. She felt someone come up behind her and place their arm around her waist. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent as she rested her head against his soft shoulder.

"Hey." She whispered.

"Hey." He replied, "She found you."

"She found me."

"What do you think?"

"Fuck, I don't know." She mumbled "She needs someone."

"I agree."

"She needs a June Cleaver." She said and turned to face him "Derek I am not a mother."

"You're Bella's mother."

"I'm not a mother." She shook her head "I'm the doctor who kicks everyone's asses, I'm the one that makes interns tremble just walking by them, I work a hundred hours a week minimum. And…and I cuss like a boat full of pirates. I'm not a mother."

"It's something that's learned Meredith, no one is born a mother." He said, "You need help."

"How." She frowned "How can you help me?"

"I have sisters."

"Having sisters is different than having a child Derek. I doubt your sisters will tell me that they let you tell them what bedtime was."

"No." he said, "But those sisters have lots of kids... and I have uncle experience."

"Oh." She mumbled and rose a brow "You have sisters."

"I have sisters." He smiled "And I'm here for you."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled remorsefully.

"For what?"

"For this." She pointed to the room "It's not what we planned for."

"What in life is?" he asked "I never planned for anything to happen that has, and I couldn't be happier."

"You're happy about this?"

"I'm happy about this."

* * *

**Do you think that it was fair of Christina to say that Meredith is not a mother?**


	36. Realizations Come to Light

**_Chapter 36: Realizations Come to Light_**

Derek had taken Bella home as Meredith finished up her post op patients. She changed and grabbed her coat and bag and headed towards the lobby. On the stair landing that spilled out into the main entrance, she saw her resident sitting on the floor against the railing. She started to roll her eyes and walk by, but something grabbed at her and she stopped.

"Dr. Peterson."

They young girl looked up at her with conflict built up in her eyes.

"Dr. Grey." She stuttered "I…" she let out a sigh "I don't know what to say to them."

"What." Meredith frowned, suddenly feeling angry "Don't tell me you haven't told the family yet?"

Her expression was blank, which was Meredith's answer in itself.

"I don't know what to tell them." She said "I know what happened to him, I know what took his life. I've been sitting here rehearsing and all I can come up with are medical terms. I thought I was a good doctor. But… but I think I'm not."

Meredith looked at the girl, she was a good doctor. Sometimes easily distracted and overwhelmed but she was a good doctor. She reminded her of herself in some ways. She sighed as she knelt down to face the girl eye to eye.

"I have a daughter."

"Huh?" the girl frowned.

"I have a daughter." Meredith repeated "And I saw her for the first time in nine years. Due to bad circumstances I gave her up for adoption. Her adopted parents died last week in a car accident, so I'm suddenly a mother again."

"I'm sorry Dr. Grey." She frowned "I'm not getting your point?"

"My point." She nodded "Is that I don't know my nine-year-old daughter. And her parents just died. And I don't know how to talk to her. But I'm going to go home, and I'm going to try. Because she's a person."

"She's a person."

"If your parents were in a car accident, how would you want the surgeon who operated on them to come tell you that they didn't make it?"

"Oh." She mumbled "I get it now."

"Being a doctor isn't all about medical terms Dr. Peterson." She said as she stood up and adjusted her bag on her shoulder "We're human beings working on human beings."

She nodded at the girl and turned to walk down the stairs. Wondering if it was the day or Bella's sudden presence in her life that felt as if she were changing. She got to the door and turned to see Dr. Peterson in the lobby sitting with the family in a comforting way as she rested her own hand on that of his now widow.

She drove home in silence and tried to soak the day in and make some type of sense of it. First off, how was she going to deal with Bella, there had to be a way, but she didn't have a single clue how to care for a child. Part of her was still very much a child herself. She had Derek, and thank god for that, but she couldn't let him take care of Bella all by himself. Though he would make an excellent father to Bella, she knew that he wasn't her biological one, not that it mattered to him.

There had to be a way, or a book on mothering. Doubt it, too bad there wasn't a manual though. She pulled into the garage of her condo and sighed. Maybe that could be the first thing they'd change. Until the last month she'd not needed anything more than what she had. But now her life was changing and growing, not necessarily in a bad way. But she needed to mold herself around it and change her shape a little. For starters, buy a house.

She walked into the condo from the garage and smelled dinner cooking. She put her things down on the door side table and hung her coat up on the rack. She walked towards the kitchen and stopped in the doorway as she saw Derek and Bella fixing themselves a snack. She smiled as Derek handed her a piece of toast. She took hers to the table and took a butter knife and dipped it into a jar of peanut butter.

She glanced over to see Derek spreading peanut butter onto his toast as well. Bella folded her toast in half to wipe the peanut butter off the knife, she saw Derek do the same thing. They both licked their fingers, almost in an annoying smacking way, starting with their pinky finger to their thumb. Both at the same time. She wondered if in the hour they were together that she picked that up from him or watched him do it and was mimicking him.

But nine-year old's didn't mimic, especially not their parental figures. And they had their backs to each other. She watched as they both bit the inside corner of their peanut butter toast sandwich at the same time in the same way. She felt a sledgehammer of realization hit her and gasped.

"Oh… my… god."


	37. Do You Remember?

**_Chapter 37: Do You Remember?_**

Derek looked up and smiled when he saw Meredith standing in the doorway. She snapped her jaw shut as he stepped towards her with a smile, not wanting to give away her shock. She still didn't know anything for sure. She quickly glanced back and forth between him and Bella a few times as if digging for some kind of similarities. Her eyes. They were Meredith's in color, but the shape was rounder, like Derek's. Bella reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears, they were the same shape as his too, but more petite. She held her breath to keep from gasping. How could she have not seen it before?

"Hey." Derek smiled as he reached her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Hey." She frowned.

"Oh sorry." He smiled.

"For what?" she gulped "What do you have to be sorry for."

"Peanut butter breath." He smiled "You hate peanut butter."

"You hate peanut butter!" Bella scoffed "How can anyone hate peanut butter!"

"Um." Meredith shook her head and closed her eyes to clear her thoughts "I just... never have liked it I guess." She turned her eyes to Derek and sighed "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah." He frowned "What's up."

She turned and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. She wrung her hands together and started pacing as she chanted her thoughts out loud.

"January, March, spring break, August." She mumbled "January, March, spring break, August."

"Mer?" Derek asked as he watched her "What's going on?"

"I need to ask you a question, and I need you not to read into it."

"Ok." He nodded.

"Think back to 2000. Springtime. Did we…well how many times did we hook up?"

"Oh." He frowned and thought for a minute "New year's…Saint Paddy's day celebration…spring break…."

"Was that all?" she asked.

"Oh!" he gasped "Graduation party."

"Huh?"

"Remember." He smirked "After we graduated Med School, we went to the Hamptons with our parents and at Percy Jackson's place we both ran into each other and went into the closet for a few hours."

"What." She hissed "Why did I not remember that?"

"You were wasted." He chuckled "I mean I'm surprised you even remembered my name."

She stopped her pacing and closed her eyes as she thought about the math….it matched.

"Oh god." She whispered, "Derek I'm so sorry."

"What?"

She opened her mouth to speak when a loud beep came from her purse across the room. She stared at Derek for a long moment before turning and grabbing it. It was a 911 from her patient, she sighed and looked remorseful.

"I'm sorry."

"Duty calls." He nodded "I understand."

"I love you." She said as she walked over and kissed in. She leaned back and reached up and grabbed one of his hairs and yanked it.

"Ouch." He scoffed "What the hell?"

"We'll talk later."

On her way out the door she grabbed a hair off of Bella's jacket that was hanging up and left. Derek sighed with frustration and curiosity as he walked back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

"Does she not like me?"

"Huh?" He asked and turned to see Bella sulking at the table.

"Meredith." She said, "She doesn't like to be around me for very long."

"She's just very busy Bella." Derek explained "I know that she wants to spend time with you, she just wasn't expecting you so she needs to work at clearing her schedule."

"You know what I think?"

"What do you think."

"I think you're a bad liar."

"You know what." Derek chuckled, "Your mother tells me the exact same thing."

* * *

**Do you guys think that Bella is Derek's daughter?**


	38. We Need to Talk

**_Chapter 38: We Need to Talk_**

Meredith had been on her feet for the last twelve hours not to mention the day before. Her patient wasn't doing well, and she'd be damned to lose another patient in 24 hours. She knew she should get some rest, but her head was still reeling from the possibility that she'd given up Derek's child for adoption over nine years ago. It was heartbreaking, not to mention what his reaction could be.

Speaking of Derek, she glanced at her watch. It was after 9 a.m. so he was most likely at work. And she was still waiting for test results. She knew that pulling paternity out of hair strands was a stretch but her source in the lab was good at matching DNA. She put a rush on it, but it would still take hours and she had no idea what to say to him.

"Have you seen Dr. Grey?" she heard down the hallway and froze. They looked at each other at the same time as if their radar went off. He gave the intern a nod "Thanks I found her."

"Fuck." She muttered to herself.

She shuffled back and forth for a second and then opened the closest door to her and dashed inside. She locked the door and stumbled into the dark room, tripping over something and crashing into another.

"Fuck." She muttered to herself "What the fuck kind of room is this."

There was a knock on the door and she panicked despite the fact that she knew he'd seen her.

"No one is in here!" she called out.

"I know you're in there Meredith." Derek called out "What I don't know is why you're hiding from me."

"Who said I'm hiding." She said "Maybe I'm just… taking a piss."

"In the janitor's closet?"

"Janitor's closet?" she scoffed to herself as she found the light and flicked it on.

"There's no toilet in there."

"No." Meredith said as she looked around the tiny closet "But there's a sink."

"You're a world renown surgeon." Derek scoffed "And you're going to pee in a janitor's closet sink?"

"Maybe I'm just trying to piss them off for pissing me off. They're always leaving those wet floor signs laying around."

"Meredith." He said, his voice was low and serious.

She turned the water in the sink on to make it sound like she was peeing and sighed.

"I can't talk right now Derek…busy."

"Right." He muttered "Well when you're done hiding, we need to talk about Bella."

"What about Bella?" she felt suddenly concerned.

"For starters she thinks you don't like her." Derek sighed "And secondly she needs to go to school."

"Yeah, why not take her to the school she was going to before?"

"Because it's in Iowa."

"Oh." She mumbled "That would be a commute."

"Yeah." Derek mumbled "So you need to sign her up for school since you're the biological parent."

She gulped and squeezed her eyes close as she tried to contain her breathing at a normal level.

"Derek I can't deal with this right now, please just…"

"Meredith she's your daughter."

"I know!" she snapped "I know she's my daughter!"

"No need to freak out, just get it together. She's with Bailey right now."

"You left her with Bailey!"

"Well I would leave her with you but she might get high on ammonia."

"Just taking a piss."

"You can't hide forever Meredith." He said softly "This is part of growing up."

She heard his footsteps retreating and she felt the weight of his words start to crush against her shoulders. Why did she have the feeling that he wouldn't act like a grown up after he knew.

* * *

**Do you think that Meredith has the right to act like this?**


	39. She's Mine

**_Chapter 39: She's Mine_**

"She's hiding." Derek sighed as he slouched over the nurses station. He saw the woman next to him slowly look up and give him a 'why the fuck are you talking to me about it' look "Meredith never hides, at least not from me. I don't know why."

"I don't know why either." Christina muttered "You're the one that married her."

"But you're her best friend."

"And you're her husband."

"She won't talk to me." He sighed "She's running, and I don't know why."

"Welcome to the world of marriage." She scoffed. Derek frowned and then let out a frustrated sigh. Christina seemed to feel a spark of sympathy, so she put her pen down and looked at him "Meredith runs when she's scared. Which isn't often. But she does run. However, she doesn't run far. Only long enough to figure out how to deal with what's going on, and then she runs back. So, be patient."

"Be patient."

Christina nodded, then grabbed her chart and turned to walk off.

"Dr. Shepherd?" an intern approached him "I have your test results."

"Test results?" Derek frowned "I didn't order test results."

"Oh." She frowned as she looked over the lab results "Oh no, this isn't for you it's on you."

"What?" Derek grabbed the paper "Who's running results on me…." His voice trailed off as he read the paper and gasped "Dr. Grey ran these results?"

"Oh god." The intern stuttered "Please don't tell her she'll kill me."

"You know what. I'm not all that much of a patient man."

The intern stood there trembling as he stormed off with the lab results paper in hand. He passed the OR board and was satisfied to see that she was in surgery. It was hard to run when you've got a patient's brain split open. He folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket as he entered the scrub room and grabbed a mask. He held it over his face as he entered the OR.

"Dr. Grey." He said, "A word please?"

"Derek I can't talk right now." She mumbled without giving him a glance "Little busy here."

"It's important."

"Of course it is." She muttered "How could I forget that the world fucking revolves around you and whatever issue you have going on. I'm in the middle of a man's brain right now and I'm trying like hell not to fuck it up! So, when I say not right now… I mean NOT RIGHT NOW!"

"Your lab results were delivered to me by mistake."

She stopped and looked blankly across the room. He could see her shoulders stiffen as she closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"Dr. Peterson." She mumbled "Hold this retractor and suction, I'll be right back."

"Yes Dr. Grey."

Meredith handed it off to the resident and held her hands up in front of her, throwing Derek a sharp look before walking past him and through the automatic doors into the scrub room. She stopped after he'd entered the room and turned to face him as the doors closed in on them. His face was solemn as they stared at each other for a quiet uncomfortable minute.

"I know you're mad and you have a right to be."

"I am?" he frowned "I do?"

"I've been running and hiding and acting like a psychotic bitch, I know this. But I didn't even know or speculate until last night when I saw you two together. Shit, I didn't even remember us having sex that close to her conception. If I had any clue or reason to believe that she was ever yours I…"

"She is mine." Derek said softly.

"She is." Meredith choked.

Derek pulled the paper out of his pocket and held it up for her to see.

"99.9% mine."

"Oh god." She whispered "Derek I'm sorry. I'm…I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because! I was a whore, and I didn't even stop to think about it until now. And I just gave her away so selfishly. If I had known, we could have had her. We wouldn't have missed out on nine years and I would be a decent mother by now. One whose daughter knows that I like her and I…I'm just, I'm sorry."

"Ok breathe." He said as he took a step towards her "First thing…I'm not mad."

"What." She scoffed "Why not?"

"I'm just as much to blame Mer." He sighed "I could have asked, I could have said something, but I didn't. I was just as clueless as you were. Secondly, she was with people that loved her for nine years. Though we can never get those years back, they weren't a total waste. And thirdly…she knows that you like her, but you might want to try a little harder in showing it. I know this is new, and you don't understand it yet. You've only been a mom for a day…hell I guess we're both going to be new at this."

"That's a very grown up thing to say."

"I try." He smiled.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." he smiled "Hold up your hands."

"Ok." She frowned and held her hands up above the sides of her head "Why?"

"Because." He smiled as he stepped forward and lowered her mask "I want to kiss the mother of my child."

She moaned as he softly captured her lips into his. Being careful not to compromise her sterile state but physically sharing his joy and happiness with her. He stepped back with a satisfied smile and pulled her mask up over her mouth.

"You're really not mad?"

"No." he smiled "I'm not mad."

"Damn." She smirked, "I was kind of hoping we could have some hot nasty make up sex later."

"In that case, I'm furious."


	40. I Know Who Your Father Is

**_Chapter 40: I Know Who Your Father Is_**

Meredith walked up the steps to the OR gallery that Bailey was currently operating on. She got to the top and looked into the mostly empty room with only one person sitting in a chair watching the surgery, a very little person. She felt nerves twist her stomach into a knot, she didn't exactly know what to say or do but she had to try. They were all a family now and they needed to act like it sooner rather than later.

"Hey." She said with a sigh as she sat down next to Bella.

"Hey." Bella looked up at her.

"I'm sorry you had to spend your day in a hospital."

Bella shrugged "It wasn't the worst day of my life."

"I spent so much time in a hospital when I was your age I'm surprised I even wanted to become a surgeon."

"Why did you want to?"

"I'm not sure." She shrugged "I guess I just felt like it was what I was born to do."

"It looks fun." Bella said, Meredith let out a rolling giggle as she shook her head "What, it does."

"A part of it is fun. But it's very serious work. People can die on the table."

"Yeah." Bella said quietly as her expression fell "People die."

Meredith felt a slap in the face as she realized how insensitive she'd just been. Normally she wouldn't care, she never bothered to censor herself before. But she cared about Bella and she didn't want to hurt her.

"I'm sorry you lost your parents." Meredith said sincerely "I'm sorry."

Bella looked at her with a blank expression, or at least one that hid emotion well. She got goose bumps at how much she reminded her of herself.

"So am I supposed to call you Mom now?"

"You can call me whatever you want." Meredith said, she saw Bella smirk out of the corner of her eye and regretted saying it "Within reason Madison."

"No fun."

"You'll have to go to school tomorrow."

"Why?" she scoffed "Can't I just stay here and learn to be a surgeon first hand?"

"It could work." Meredith smirked "But I don't think the AMA would be happy when they find out you have no medical license, and the hospital would most likely fold under with all the lawsuits."

"Damn." She muttered. Meredith's eyes widened on her daughter "What, you say it too."

"Well I shouldn't." Meredith sighed "Not around you."

"I'm nine." Bella rolled her eyes "I've heard worse in the supermarket."

"True." Meredith shrugged "I guess…I guess I'm still trying to figure out what's the right thing to do with you."

"You want me to help you?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

"Somehow I doubt that would work." Meredith giggled "Would you be honest with me?"

"No. I'd lie to get what I want."

"Thanks for being honest." Meredith laughed.

"Ahem." They heard in the doorway and looked up to see Derek smile at them as he walked in and sat next to Bella on the other side of her "Hey."

"Hi." She smiled. Derek exchanged a look with Meredith, and she let out a sigh.

"So Bella." Meredith mumbled "We have something to tell you."

"Ok."

"You know how we told you that we thought we didn't know who your biological father was?"

"Yeah." She frowned "You were a whore back then." Meredith's face fell into a frown "What, I'm not deaf I can hear you talk."

"Right." Meredith nodded "Well I found out who your father is."

"Who?"

"Me." Derek smiled "It turns out that I'm your biological father."

Bella's eyes lit up for a second and then she let out a horrified gasp and covered her mouth as she jumped out of the chair and shrieked.

"I..You..No!" she screamed as she violently shook her head "But I said he was…Ah!"

She turned and darted out of the gallery leaving Derek sitting there dumbfounded. He turned to see Meredith biting her lip to stifle her laughed.

"What was that all about?"

"She um…" Meredith mumbled "She said you were hot."

"So?"

"You're her father and she said you were hot." Meredith smirked "You have no idea how humiliating that is for a little girl."

"Ok." He frowned, "Should I go talk to her?"

"No." Meredith smiled and stood up "Trust me that would only make it worse…I'll go."

"That is very motherly and grown up of you."

"Yeah?" she smirked and waggled her eye brows "Does it turn you on?"

"Mmmhhmmm."


	41. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**_Chapter 41: Like Mother, Like Daughter_**

"So, how is the little monster?" Christina asked as she caught up to Meredith in the hallway.

"She's fine." Meredith smiled "I think she's starting to adjust."

"So she went for the whole McDreamy is my McDaddy thing?"

"She got over her embarrassment and is adjusting fine. They're great together."

"You really surprised me."

"How so?"

"Three months ago I would have laughed my ass off at the man who told me you would be married and have a kid right now."

"I would have laughed my ass off too." Meredith shrugged "I guess you surprise yourself sometimes too."

"You know you're doing a good job." Christina acknowledged "I mean for you, it's a good job."

"Um thanks, mother of the year." Meredith frowned "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Take it as whatever."

"I have to take it to go." Meredith glanced at her watch "I need to go pick Bella up from school since Derek is in surgery."

"Break out the mini-van." Christina rolled her eyes Meredith shot her a glare "SUV?"

"BMW." Meredith scoffed "We don't have a circus, we have a nine year old…A nine year old, as in one."

"Well don't scratch your beamer on all those minivans you'll be in line with."

Meredith rolled her eyes and jogged off to her office to change before leaving the hospital to race across town to get Bella from school. They'd argued on whether to put her in a public or private school until they found a high-end public school. It had a waiting list, but they made a large donation and managed to get her enrolled right away. Meredith sighed as she rolled slowly towards the curb in a line of minivans, just as Christina joked about.

"This is ridiculous." Meredith muttered to herself "There should be a carpool lane, or at least a luxury car lane."

Just as she said that some kids came swarming around the minivan in front of her and opened the back door to throw their stuff in, it swung wide and she heard a crunch as it hit the bumper of her car. She gasped as the kid turned to give her a playful smirk.

"Sorry!" he laughed before running around to get in his mother's car.

"You little…" she bit her tongue from saying the many profanities urging to jump off her tongue. She heard the back door open and slam closed and looked in the rear view mirror to see Bella plop against the seat and sigh as she crossed her arms "How was your day?"

"Where's Derek?"

"What's wrong with me picking you up?"

"Whatever." She muttered and turned to glare out the side window "Just thought he was picking me up."

"Bad day?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"Ok." Meredith sighed as she pulled out onto the road "Just saying, I am a surgeon with scalpel access. I can hurt someone if you need my services."

She saw a twist of a smirk in the corner of Bella's mouth but nothing more "Can I cut my hair?"

"What?" Meredith scoffed "You have beautiful, pretty long hair…why on earth would you want to cut it?"

"Because I want to." Bella muttered "It's my hair."

"Did someone tease you about your hair?" Meredith frowned "Because you shouldn't worry about what other people think Bella. And your hair shouldn't have to be mutilated for it."

"So no then." Bella sighed "You're saying no I can't cut my hair."

"When you're not so pissed off and throwing lasers at me with your eyes, we can talk about it. But we're not doing anything rash and out of anger."

"Whatever."

Meredith's hands gripped around the steering wheel as she breathed heavily through her nose. Bella was obviously having a bad day and she didn't want to make it any worse. She pulled into the parking lot next to Derek's car where she saw him closing the trunk. The smiled at her as she parked the car, Bella got out and he gave her a hug, then a kiss to Meredith as she got out.

"Hello ladies." He smiled "How are my girls."

"We're having issues." Meredith mumbled and glanced at Bella "I'm waiting."

"Bella?" Derek frowned "What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about really means that I don't want to talk about it ok!"

"Ok." Meredith sighed "Well grab your backpack so you can do your homework."

"You grab it." She muttered as she started to walk off.

"Hey!" Meredith scoffed "Get over here and grab your bag! I did not carry you for nine months and go through 15 hours of labor for nothing Arabella Grace!"

"That's about all you did for me." Bella muttered before skipping off to the hospital entrance.

Meredith gasped as she felt her anger boil in her face and turned to Derek.

"That little shit!" she muttered "She just used MY own line…that I used on MY mother…on ME!"

"Like mother like daughter." Derek chuckled.

"Oh shut up!"


	42. What's Bugging You?

**_Chapter 42: What Bugging You?_**

Meredith pulled her scrub cap off with a sigh as she opened the conference room door and stepped inside to see Bella sitting at the table with her homework spread out around her. She glanced up at Meredith for a second but then scowled back at her homework.

"You know if you write any harder that table's going to have United States geography scratched in it permanently."

"So." Bella muttered "What do you want?"

Meredith sighed as she walked to the other side of the table and took a seat.

"I want to know what's got your panties so tight?"

"Huh?"

"Sorry." She shook her head and remembered she was talking to an nine year old "What's going on with you."

"Why do you care?"

"You're my daughter."

"You didn't want me before, why do you want me now?"

Meredith felt the sting of Bella's words but looked past it and saw tears in her eyes. Not tears of anger, tears of pain. She hid them quickly by curtaining her hair in front of her. Meredith leaned forward and stared her daughter down softly.

"Is that what they told you." Meredith asked softly "Did they say that I didn't want you."

Bella glanced up for a second, enough for Meredith to get her answer.

"Bella," Meredith shook her head "You know that's not true. If I didn't want you then why are you here? Out of obligation, no. You're here because I want you. Because I love you. Because due to very unfortunate events I somehow am getting a second chance. And those little bitches at school are just trying to get under your skin."

"I know." She sniffled "But it hurts ok?"

"I know." Meredith mumbled "I was nine years old too, once upon a time. I'd come home crying to an empty house with only the television to keep me company."

Bella lifted her face and her eyes grew wide "They had TV back then!?" she gasped "Was it black and white?"

Meredith glared slightly and rolled her eyes "No. I'm not a dinosaur thank you very much."

"But you're old."

"I'm going to ignore that for now. For the sake of our conversations staying on topic." Meredith said through her teeth "My point Arabella, is that I was there too. I used to be the girl with big hair and weird clothes, and everyone made fun of me, you know why?"

"No…why?"

"Because I dared to be different." She said "Because I wouldn't mold myself to conform. And you're different too. Whether you want to admit it or not you are me. And you don't want to be like them."

"No." she mumbled "I don't. They're stupid."

"So do you still want to cut your hair?"

"No." Bella mumbled as she grabbed a strand and held it up to look at "I really like my hair."

"So keep liking it." Meredith smiled "You can like yourself, even if no one else does."

"But they're so mean." Bella scoffed "I hate letting them get to me, but it does."

"Maybe you should use your anger in different ways."

"Like what?"

"Get back at them." Meredith shrugged "Show them that you're not going to take their shit."

"I'll get expelled if I get into a fight."

"Bella." Meredith smirked "You're my daughter. I know you're cleverer than to think with your fists."

"I'm confused."

"You'll get it." Meredith smiled. "So is that all that's bothering you."

"Mostly." Bella mumbled "But it's all I'm going to say."

"Spit it out Bella." Meredith sighed "You can tell me anything."

Bella looked at her with contemplation as she hesitated what she wanted to say.

"Can you be quieter when you and dad are having sex, it's really hard to sleep through something like that."

Meredith nearly fell out of her chair as her face fell and her mouth dropped into a wide O.

"You…you can hear…you…you know what sex is?"

"Yeah." Bella frowned "Earlier this year two of my classmates got caught going at it in the bathroom so they started doing sex education in fouth grade."

"Seriously." Meredith gasped "So you…I mean…you haven't…"

"Ew!" Bella scrunched up her nose "No. It's gross, and I still hate boys."

"Ok." Meredith said with a whooping sigh of relief "Ok good and yes. We'll be quieter."

Bella nodded and went back to her homework "Hey, when I'm done here can I go watch Dad's surgery?"

"You want to watch surgery?" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah." Bella smiled "It's really cool."

"You know what."

"What?"

"When all those twats teasing you are my age, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with five kids under their feet while they try to get dinner on the table on time…you'll be saving lives."

"You think I'll be a surgeon?"

Meredith smiled, one that beamed with pride.

"I know you will."


	43. You Bought Us A House?

**_Chapter 43: You Bought Us A House?_**

"What do you mean it's sold!" Meredith muttered into the phone as she paced around the x-ray room, there were pieces of paper stuck against the light board "Well un-sell it! That's the one I need and it can't be sold yet!"

She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and sighed heavily.

"What kind of real estate agent are you if you can't talk someone out of buying a house!" she muttered "Yes I know that your job is to talk them into it, I'm not stupid I'm…YES! I do think the world revolves around me thank you very much, now get me the god damn house I want!"

She slammed the phone shut and shrieked. As she turned around, she jumped to see a figure standing in the doorway and jumped.

"Shit!" she muttered "Warn someone before you do that!"

"I don't think you would've heard me over your own voice." He smirked "I would ask what you're doing but the whole floor heard you."

"Well if people would do their jobs…"

"Forget about people's jobs, why is it that they're not doing them correctly to your standards."

"We need to buy a house. I'm trying to buy a house. And I found the perfect house but it sold, three days ago and the moron of a sales agent says she can't talk them out of it, it's bullshit is what it is!"

"What's wrong with the condo?" he shrugged "We're comfortable there, it's only three of us."

"It's too small." She mumbled. Derek frowned for a second and then his eyes lit up.

"You're pregnant."

"No!" she scoffed "Our walls are too thin! It's too small."

"What do you mean our walls are too thin."

"Think Derek!" she muttered "You're a brain surgeon use your brain! Bella can hear us and well…"

"Hear what?"

"Sex!" Meredith shrieked "I want sex, good sex, where I can moan and scream your name to the moon and back. I can't get in that mood when I know she's in the other room and can hear us. So yes, Derek we need a bigger house if you ever want to have sex again. And I…I need sex. So, I'm buying a house to have sex."

"Oh." He nodded "Well what houses are we looking at."

"Shit ones." She sighed as she pulled two of the papers down "but I guess I'll just have to settle for second best for once."

"If you want to have sex again." He snickered "Heaven forbid we ever use, oh I don't know…an on-call room."

"Work sex…quick and dirty."

"Are you saying you don't enjoy it?"

"Fuck no." she scoffed "but we could clear off a desk or sneak in an unoccupied patient room every now and then."

"Spice it up." He smirked as his eyes went dark. She wiggled her shoulders at him to gesture that she was in the similar mindset and licked her lips, his eyes followed her tongue across her lips and he cleared his throat as he felt a large lump growing in his scrub pants "Are you free now?"

"As soon as I find us a house." She sighed.

"Problem solved."

"What do you mean?"

"This house that was bought three days ago?" he asked as he yanked the paper off the lightboard, then pulled a folded up paper out of his pocket and handed it to her "I bought it."

She frowned in disbelief until she opened the paper and saw the same house. A smile grew on her face as she raised her eyes to meet his in a smoldery connection.

"Derek Shepherd." She smiled "You bought me a house."

"Us." He said as they wrapped their arms around each other "I bought us a house."

"Everything about that turns me on." She said seductively.

"How so?" he gulped to moisten his dry throat.

"The house is a virgin to us." she whispered "We'll have to break it in…inch by inch."

He moaned as she ground her hips against his and felt the lump underneath his thin layers of fabric. Their lips connected in a thirsty dance of passion. His arms tightened around her waist, pulling her in close as he ground his hips against hers as her hands weaved into his hair and tugged.

"Gross." They heard at the door and broke apart "Seriously how much of that can you do without your lips falling off?"

She rolled her eyes and turned to walk off down the hall to Meredith's office. They both let out soft sighs against each other's swollen lips.

"A very quiet and discreet inch by inch."

Meredith nodded "Unfortunately." She shrugged "At least until she makes friends and has sleepovers."

* * *

**So, Derek bought them a house; what do you think?**


	44. Your Daughter Got Suspended

**_Chapter 44: Your Daughter Got Suspended_**

Luckily since the house was paid for in full their escrow on the house was little to no time at all. They were moved in after a week and loving all the extra walls in the house. Bella had no complaints whatsoever regarding her room being on the other end of the house as Meredith and Derek.

Meredith was finding Bella's presence in her life as a hidden blessing. She was seeing that she felt more apt to teach her residents. That she had more patience and was open to instructing them. I guess now she saw her daughter in them a little.

"I need suction right there, Dr. Peterson."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey." She smiled through her mask with appreciation.

They heard the doors open but as typical Meredith didn't bother looking. Her patient was her top priority.

"Meredith." She heard in her husband's disgruntled tone "We have a problem."

"Whatever that problem is, it'll have to wait." She replied "I'm dissecting a temporal lobe here and if I stop, _then_ I'll have a problem."

"_Your_ daughter is getting suspended."

"My daughter?" she raised her brow "If I remember correctly you were there for the conception too. Actually, I don't remember details all that great due to the amount of alcohol I had that night, but since we were in a closet, I can almost guarantee we were doing the bendy thing."

"Meredith." Derek mumbled with embarrassment as he looked around the room of people. "We're getting off track."

"Right." Meredith sighed as she pointed for suction again "Why did Bella get suspended, already?"

"She put superglue on a girls' chair right before she sat down for class and well... I'm sure you can imagine what happened after class."

"Really." Meredith laughed "I knew she'd figure it out."

"I'm sorry." Derek scoffed "Did you encourage her to do this?"

"I told her to stick up for herself Derek. I told her that she's got to stand her ground, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"She super glued a girl's _ass_ to her chair!" Derek yelped "It took them an hour to get her out! She was very embarrassed, I'm sure."

"Well the kid probably deserved it."

"Meredith!"

"What!" she hissed and turned around finally "What do you want me to say? That she was wrong! I'm not going to. Because not all of us were popular the second we walked onto school grounds. Some of us had pink hair and wore combat boots with our uniforms. Some of us dared to be ourselves and we had to earn the respect we got because we didn't want to conform. Bella is different and likes who she is, she's sticking up for herself and NO, there is nothing wrong with that!"

"If this pattern continues Meredith, we'll be bailing her out of jail someday. There is something wrong with that."

"Do you see me in jail?" Meredith asked "No, I'm standing here holding a scalpel earning a six-figure income. I was that girl. And now is not the right time to piss me off!"

"That's not how parenting works." He sighed "Someone has to be the grown up."

"Are you saying I'm being a bad parent?"

"You know I think you're doing a good job."

"Until now."

"Meredith." He sighed "You need to be harder on her."

"I'm pushing her out of the nest Derek, I don't know how harder it can get."

"She needs to know that humiliating her classmates isn't the answer."

"Oh and what is Derek!" she snapped "Throwing money in their faces? Buying her popularity. They're kids! And kids are little shits sometimes. She's in the real world and we can't shelter her."

"She's nine."

"I know how old she is!"

"Look." Derek shook his head with frustration "I'm going to go get her from school and we both need to sit down and talk to her."

"Somehow I have a feeling it'll be two different conversations."

Derek rolled his eyes and walked out of the OR in a huff.

"Suction Dr. Grey?"

"No, I'm perfectly capable and confident of doing it myself!" she snapped. She grabbed the suction and sighed.

"For what it's worth?" Dr. Peterson mumbled "I think you're doing a great job with your daughter. I wish my mom would've told me that when I was her age."

Meredith looked over at her resident and let out a soft sigh.

"Ok, you can suction."

* * *

**Who do you agree with, Meredith, Derek or both of them?**


	45. A Family Discussion

**_Chapter 45: A Family Discussion _**

"So, what makes you want to be a neurosurgeon, Dr. Peterson?"

"It's fascinating." She replied as they walked the chart to the nurses station.

"You'll have to do better than that." Meredith rolled her eyes "All surgeries are fascinating."

"Yeah." Peterson nodded "But, well…the heart pumps our blood through our body, our bones hold us up, and our inner organs keep us alive…but the brain, well it makes us who we are."

Meredith felt a smile spread across her face as she handed Dr. Peterson the chart "You are going to make an excellent neurosurgeon."

"You think so?" She nodded "I guess I have my parents to thank, they were hard on me, but I think it's what I needed. It got me here."

Meredith rolled her eyes then, she felt something crash into her and stumbled to catch her balance. She looked down to see a kid no bigger than Madison picking himself off the floor and glaring at her.

"Stay out of my way next time!" he muttered before getting up and rushing off.

Her mouth fell agape as a grown man rushed past her with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, kids will be kids right?"

Meredith gasped in horror as she watched the father chase after his son. She rubbed her sore thigh where the kid hit as she started thinking about the predicament with Bella.

* * *

Derek walked into the school that Bella attended and saw her immediately after entering the office. She sat there in a chair in the corner with a long scowl on her face. He sighed and gave her a stern look as he approached her and knelt down.

"Bella I…" he stopped when he saw splotches of pink in her light blonde hair and frowned "What the hell did you do to your hair?"

"Me!" she scoffed "I didn't do crap to my hair, dad. Those little idiots who pick on me poured kool-aid in my hair after I walked out of class second hour."

Derek's face fell with anger and remorse "Is that why you got a hold of some super glue?" she nodded "Second hour was…" he looked at his watch "Three hours ago."

"Duh, dad."

Derek stood up and turned to the front desk just as the assistant principal approached.

"Ah, Dr. Shepherd." He said with a slight smile "I'm so glad that you came. I hope you see your daughters punishment as appropriate in this case."

"Certainly." He nodded "And the other children are being suspended as well?"

"No." he frowned "Bella was the only offender."

"My daughter's hair is coated in pink kool-aid." Derek frowned "I hardly call that as her being the only offender, in fact, though her actions were a little harsh she was provoked more than anything."

"Dr. Shepherd." He laughed "It's just a little kool-aid. It'll wash out."

"That's not the point." Derek muttered as he felt his anger rise.

"Your daughter's kool-aid incident is nothing compared to the humiliation of what her classmate had to endure."

"When you're nine, humiliation feels the same!" Derek growled "Unless you want this institution to undergo the humiliation of a law suit, I suggest you reconsider your punishment and selection techniques. "He turned and held his hand out "Come on Bella, lets' go."

She smirked as she took her dad's hand and giggled "And here I thought Mom was the only badass."

"Don't use that word." He muttered, she frowned "You're still in trouble but not as much."

She shrugged as they went to the car and made the short drive to the hospital. He took Bella upstairs and ushered her into the conference room then went looking for Meredith. Luckily, he didn't have to look far as she rounded the corner and nearly crashed into him.

"You were right." They both said simultaneously to each other than frowned "I am?"

"You go first." Derek said.

"You're right. I want Bella to stick up for herself, but she has to know there are limits. And if we don't give her a little discipline, she'll be running wild and knocking people over." She took a breath "You go."

"Bella needs to stick up for herself and we're wrong to tell her to take it up the ass. The kids she did that to poured kool-aid over her head and the school didn't do shit."

"Bastards!" Meredith gasped.

"We have to stick together." Derek said and gestured towards the conference room "Shall we?"

Meredith nodded and they both walked into the conference room and sat down across Bella. Meredith saw the pink in her hair and wanted to spit bullets but took a deep breath and forced a smile for her daughter.

"So." Meredith sighed "Bad day?"

"Yeah." Bella muttered "You could say that."

"Super glue!?" Meredith tried not to smile and narrowed her eyes "Seriously."

"You told me to stick up for myself."

"And I'm glad you did." Meredith said, Derek cleared his throat loudly "What you did was wrong though…creative and genius! But wrong. I want you to stick up for yourself but maybe not so harsh. Maybe try to negotiate first, then retaliate."

"You have to know Bella." Derek said, "There are consequences for your actions and they only get more severe as you get older."

"Well right now all I get is a three-day vacation." She smirked.

"You're grounded." Meredith said.

"What!"

"You'll be spending the next three days doing homework in my office. And when you're done with that, you'll be learning medical terminology until your brain hurts. And if you think you can sneak off think again, I'll hire a door guard."

"You suck." Bella scoffed.

"I know." Meredith smiled "But I love you."

* * *

**Do you think that Meredith and Derek handled the situation well?**


	46. I'm Bleeding

**_Chapter 46: I'm Bleeding_**

"Bella!" Meredith called out as she walked down the stairs "Hurry up, three days suspension and you need to be to school on time."

"She's still not up?" Derek asked as he met her at the bottom of the stairs with a cup of coffee to go.

"No." Meredith huffed "And I have to go, I have a surgery."

"I know." He smiled and kissed her "I'll make sure she's there on time."

"Thanks." Meredith mumbled "If she tries to play sick tell her she's got to puke at your feet to convince you."

"I'm sure she's fine." Derek frowned "But I'll be tough."

"I'm serious Derek. She's just like me."

"Which is why I love her."

Meredith gave him a stern look before turning and walking out the door. Derek looked at the top of the stairs and sighed as he walked up them to make sure his daughter was up and getting ready.

"Bella!" he called outside her bedroom door "Bella, are you in there?"

He heard a muffled sound and was going to dismiss it when it started to sound more and more like crying. He knocked on the door with concern.

"Bella?" he called into the door "Bella, are you ok?"

"No!" she cried out "I'm not."

Derek opened the door without permission and saw her curled up into a ball on her bed crying

"Bella, what's wrong are you sick?"

"I don't know." She whimpered.

"Are you hurt?" he asked as he brushed her hair back out of her face and saw her cheeks red and wet with tears.

"I don't know." She whimpered again. "I can't go to school."

"Are you faking?" he asked, "Because your mom warned me…"

"I'm not faking!" she screamed "I'm dying!"

"What?" Derek chuckled "You're not dying."

"I am dying." She sobbed "I'm going to die today, and I don't want to go to school. I don't want my last day here to be in school."

"Bella." Derek scoffed "You're not dying. What makes you think you're dying."

Bella looked up at him and sniffled as she decided hesitantly. But her father was a doctor, she might as well tell him.

"I'm bleeding." She mumbled sheepishly.

"What?" he asked concerned and looked her over "Where, did you cut yourself?"

"No." she scowled "Its…it's a lot and it won't go away. And my tummy hurts right here."

She placed her hand over her lower abdomen.

"But where are you bleeding?" he asked still looking for a source.

"It comes out when I go to the bathroom." She sniffled, Derek's face fell in shock "It won't stop no matter how many times I wipe, and it hurts. I feel all gross and crampy and I'm going to bleed to death dad! I'm dying so I just want to stay home."

Derek sat still in shock as Bella started to cry again. He grew up with four sisters and was a doctor for Christ's sake, but for some reason this was still a shock to him. He finally snapped out of it and reached down to rub her back.

"Ok, you don't have to go to school today." He sighed.

"I don't?"

"No." he shook his head "But get dressed."

"Where are we going?"

"To see your mom."


	47. First Period

**_Chapter 47: First Period Talk_**

Meredith walked out of surgery and past the wall of windows where the chief's office was as well as the small conference room next to it. She barely glanced in and noticed two familiar faces. Derek looked up at her and she sighed as she planted her hands on her hips. He got up, mumbling something to Bella and walked out of the room.

"Seriously!" she muttered "I told you she'd pull a fast one on you."

"She didn't." Derek said "She has a…well she's having…you need to talk to her."

"Derek!"

"Meredith she's….well she's bleeding."

"What?" she hissed "Where, is she dying?"

"No." he mumbled "But she thinks she is."

"I'm lost."

"She's getting her….period." he mumbled under his breath, Meredith raised her brow "I can't believe this is happening…she's only nine!"

"Well with all the hormones in food these days, what do you expect?"

"A few years ago!" Derek scoffed, she crossed her arms over her chest "So um, you'll talk to her, right?"

"Let me guess, you didn't tell her anything. You just brought her here so that I can break the news that she's entering into womanhood."

"Um…. yes."

"Pussy." She scoffed and rolled her eyes "Go check on my post op."

* * *

Meredith sighed and turned around, she went into the supply closet and grabbed a few things before going into the conference room. She sat down across from Bella and looked at her tear streaked face. She looked seriously freaked out and Meredith's heart went out to her.

"I'm guessing that in your sex ed class they didn't cover the entrance to womanhood speech."

"The what?" Bella sniffled.

"This is normal for girls your age."

"It is?"

"You're going from a girl to a woman Bella, and this is what happens." Meredith explained "It sucks, and you're going to hate it."

"I already hate it." She sniffled "But why?"

"When you reach your pre-teen years Bella, your body starts to kick into gear. Inside your lower abdomen is an organ called a uterus, it's where babies come from. And next to that are ovaries, they make the eggs that turn into babies. Every month your body gears up to release an egg and your uterus gets a thick lining. Then after a couple of weeks your body releases the lining and you bleed."

"It happens every month!" Bella gasped "This is going to suck; I won't ever be able to leave the bathroom."

"No worries." Meredith smirked, she set a plastic covered box shape on the table "These are called maxi pads. You put them in your panties, and it'll catch the blood, you change it when it gets full and you'll be able to go on with life like normal."

"They look like a diaper." Bella said skeptically.

"They're better than nothing." Meredith smiled as she set a blue box on the table "When you get the hang of pads you can graduate to tampons. Most women prefer them, but they can be difficult for young girls."

"They look like sticks. How are they supposed to stop the bleeding?"

"You put them in your vagina." Meredith said, Bella's eyes grew wide "It doesn't sound comfortable, but they can be once you get the hang of them. You can go swimming and do other things you can't normally do with a pad."

"Ok." Bella wrinkled up her nose.

Meredith set a bottle on the table "This is Midol. It's pain medication for menstrual cramps that you get when you're on your period. Take two every six hours as you need." She let out a sigh "Any questions?"

"So, I'm going to have it every month for the rest of my life?"

"Um, well until you get to menopause but that won't happen until you're in your 50's. Or if you get pregnant. But if that happens anytime soon just so you know, your dad will lock you in a cage until you get to menopause."

"So you have to have sex to get pregnant."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Meredith smiled. "Let me go get your dad."

Bella nodded and Meredith got up, she walked out of the room and saw Derek standing next to the nurses station shifting nervously, Christina was on the other side rolling her eyes at him.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"Fine, absolutely fine." Meredith smiled "But now she wants to know how girls get pregnant…and that one's on you."

Derek's face fell and he muttered profanities as he scuffled towards the conference room.

"Why don't you just connect the conversation you just had with her and the one the school did?" Cristina asked, "She already had the sex talk, right?"

Meredith grinned.

"Yes. But he doesn't know that."

* * *

**How do you feeling about this heartfelt moment between Meredith and Bella? Also, do you feel Meredith did right by tricking Derek?**


	48. How Babies Are Made

**_Chapter 48: How Babies Are Made_**

"Ok." Derek cleared his throat for the dozenth time since sitting across the table from his daughter "So the woman, she's this...this pot with a seed in it. And the boy, he's the hose...er...yeah, the hose. And he waters the woman's seed and then it grows and blooms into a flower, which is the baby."

Bella stared at him like he'd grown two heads and scrunched her nose.

"Are you following me?" Derek asked.

"No." she scoffed "I'm lost with your talk about flowerpots and hoses. I just want to know how babies are made after the guy and the girl have sex."

Derek's eyes grew ten times in size "What!" he muttered "How... how ….how do you know about sex?"

"You mean other than hearing you and mom?" Bella rolled her eyes "Like I told her, the school made us sit in a sex ed class after two of my classmates were going at it in the bathroom."

"Oh." He mumbled "And your mother knew this?"

"Duh." She scoffed "But, how does a baby get made?"

"Well." He cleared his throat again "Sort of like I was telling you. When they have…. sex." he whispered the last part "There's something called sperm that comes out of the guy and goes into the girl. Then if she's ovulating an egg the sperm fertilizes the egg and it makes a baby."

"The egg from the ovaries?"

"Yes." He nodded, feeling relief at how much easier that was than he thought.

"So can you not have sex a few weeks before your period unless you want to get pregnant?"

He wasn't sure if he didn't like the nature of the question or the way she said it but he scowled "You will not have sex at all Arabella Grace."

"Calm down Dad it was just a question."

"A question you don't need to worry about. Just don't have sex and you won't have to worry about it."

"Fine." She sighed "Whatever, I need to use the bathroom."

"It's down the hall."

She got up and grabbed the items Meredith gave to her and went to the bathroom. Derek sighed and rubbed his eyes as he got up and walked out into the hall. Meredith was standing at the nurses station smirking as he walked over to her with a grim look on his face.

"You knew that she knew about sex and you didn't tell me!"

"Well, she told me so I figured I'd let her tell you."

"It would have made things a lot easier."

"Oh and pinning the facts of life speech on me was easy?" Meredith scoffed "Face it, Karma is a bitch."

"Karma's not the only bitch around here." Derek mumbled.

"Are you calling me a bitch?" Meredith laughed and then grimaced "I take bitch as a compliment."

"I know." He smiled. "So, what's on the board for today."

"Well I have surgery, and I suspect you'll be dealing with Bella since you told her she didn't have to go to school today."

"What." He scoffed.

"Where is our little angel anyway?"

"She's right down…" he stopped when he glanced down the hallway to see Bella talking to someone "Oh shit."

"Oh shit?" Meredith frowned "Oh shit what?"

"My mother is here."

"But you love your mother." Meredith frowned "We love your mother."

"Yes." He gulped "But she's talking with Bella right now and I have been so busy since we got her that I've neglected to call and tell her about Bella."

Meredith's face fell. "Oh shit."


	49. Carolyn Shepherd is Here

**_Chapter 49: Carolyn Shepard is Here…_**

"Mom!" Derek called out as he rushed down the hallway. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Well I haven't heard from you for months!" she said looking up "Not since the wedding, you won't answer my calls."

"You won't answer her calls!" Meredith scoffed as she caught up to them and kissed Mrs. Shepherd on the cheek "Hi mom."

"Darling." She smiled at Meredith "How are you?"

"I'm doing great."

"Well I thought I'd come see for myself." She smiled "And this delightful little girl ran into me, I was about to ask her where her parents might be."

A wave of silence became them as Bella giggled.

"They're right here." She said and pointed to the two behind her. Carolyn looked up at them in shock.

"We have a lot to talk about." Derek mumbled.

"Apparently!" she gasped. "What… How…did you adopt her?"

"Um, no." Meredith mumbled "But she was put up for adoption."

"My mom was a whore." Bella said, Meredith clapped her and over Bella's mouth and smiled nervously.

"I got pregnant right after getting out of high school and Derek helped me through it, but I couldn't take care of a baby, so I gave her up." She said in one breath "A couple months ago she showed up after her adoptive parents died in a car accident and I…we took her back in."

"And we recently found out that she is mine as well."

Carolyn looked at all of them as her head spun.

"Do you need to sit down?" Meredith asked then swatted Derek's arms "Get your mother a chair."

"No." she panted as she shook her head "No I'm ok it's just…a lot of information, it's just so…shocking!"

"Tell me about it." Meredith mumbled. "I'm sorry, I thought Derek had told you."

"No." she gulped and then looked down at Bella "You do have your father's eyes." She smiled "But I think everything else is your mother's. What is your name?" Carolyn stated

"Arabella Grace. Usually, I go by Bella or Grace." She said proudly.

"So, you're my grandma?" Bella asked. Carolyn nodded "But you look way too young to be a grandma."

"Oh!" Carolyn giggled "I love you already."

Meredith smirked and rolled her eyes.

"So, Derek has freed the day I'm sure he can spend the day with you and Bella."

"No, it's alright I can take her myself, I'd love to get to know her."

"Thank you mother." Derek smiled.

"Oh don't you thank me Derek Christopher Shepherd you are still very much in trouble!"

Bella giggled "She middle named you dad, you're so dead!"

Derek nodded nervously.

"Come Arabella." Carolyn smiled. "Let's go have lunch and I shall call you Grace, my precious Granddaughter."

"I'd love to." Bella smiled and took her hand. They walked off down the hallway and Meredith snickered.

"She may have your eyes and my looks, but she has something else too."

"What's that?" Derek asked.

"Your mastered ability to kiss ass."

"Yeah." Derek mumbled "Somehow I think my mother is immune."

"Yeah, good luck with that."

"Thanks."


	50. Nancy Has Arrived

**_Chapter 50: Nancy Has Arrived_**

"So that's Emery, Jacob, and Lillian." Carolyn said as Bella sat next to her on the couch "All fifteen of your cousins."

"That's a lot of cousins!" Bella gasped "I bet it's like a zoo when they all come over."

"Yes." Carolyn laughed "It feels that way sometimes." The front door opened, and she looked up as Meredith and Derek walked in carrying bags, her eyes narrowed "Hello, son."

"Mom." He smiled "We brought dinner."

"I'll help." She said standing up "we need to talk."

"I'll stay with Bella." Meredith interjected.

"She's not a toddler." Carolyn pointed out "I'd like to talk to the both of you."

Meredith gulped but knew better than to argue with Mama Shepherd so she followed Derek into the kitchen to put the bags down, Carolyn came in shortly after and closed the door with a sigh.

"So what happened!" she demanded. Meredith and Derek eyed each other but were both speechless "Oh out with it already are you're no longer children."

"Feel like it." Derek pouted "Meredith got pregnant right after med school, and we decided together that it was better to put the baby up for adoption."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, looking at Meredith now "Why, I thought I was like a mother to you?"

"Exactly." Meredith gulped "And what daughter would easily tell her mother that she's knocked up by a random guy that she could hardly remember."

"Random guy?" Carolyn frowned "But I thought…"

"Derek is Bella's biological father." Meredith finished the sentence "But I didn't know that, I was…very drunk that night. But we've done DNA tests and she's his."

"Derek!" she scolded "How could you let her put a baby that might even be close to being yours up?"

"Because I had no idea, she was mine either." He defended "And it was Meredith's choice. I was just there to support her."

"I can't believe that my granddaughter has been with strangers for the past nine years!"

"You know mom." Meredith gulped "I understand, this is hard. Believe me when I say that I've had a lot of days of regret…but Derek told me something once."

"I did?"

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes "He said that she was with people who loved her for nine years. She was with people who cared about her and treated her as their own. She was loved."

Carolyn's anger lines smoothed out and her face fell a little "She was loved."

Just then they heard the doorbell ring and Derek frowned as he glanced at Meredith, wondering who they should be expecting. Carolyn's eyes lit up as if she'd just recalled something.

"Oh that's probably your sister." She said, "I came out with her, I hope that's alright."

"Depends on which sister." Derek grumbled as he started for the door.

"I'm going to go check on Bella." Meredith said, "She's had an…interesting day."

Carolyn smiled and nodded as Meredith turned and walked into the family room. Bella was sitting on the couch watching TV and Meredith sat on the chair next to the couch.

"Hey kid." She smiled "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Bella frowned.

"I mean with the…" Meredith twirled her fingers around nervously "the thing."

"Oh." Bella's eyes raised a little with understanding "Yeah, I'm ok."

"Good." Meredith smiled.

"I don't care!" they heard from the foyer and looked up "No one in their right mind has any excuse for keeping this kind of information from their family, especially for nine years!"

"Nancy calm down!" Derek muttered back as he followed her march through the house. "You're being irrational."

"YOU are being irrational!" she shouted "You and that little slut you married."

At that moment she realized that there were other people in the room and her eyes widened as she spotted Meredith.

"Nancy." Meredith grinned "How's your eye?"

Nancy gulped, and her face turned a few shades of red before shrieking and turning to march into the kitchen where her mother was. Derek looked at her apologetically before letting out a big frustrated sigh and going into the kitchen.

"Mom?" Bella asked, Meredith looked over to see a disturbed look in her face.

"What honey?"

"Is that my aunt?"

"Yes." Meredith nodded.

"Do I have to like her?"

Meredith smiled "Completely up to you." She sighed "But you should try."

"I don't think I want to try for long."

"And I can't blame you, I didn't either." Meredith smirked.

Bella giggled for a moment but then went to look down at her hands.

"Bella?" Meredith asked, "Are you ok?"

"I have something to tell you, but it sounds really bad."

"Ok." Meredith gulped and shifted in her seat as she thought about all the things her daughter could be about to tell her "Well just go ahead and say it, I'm all ears."

Bella chewed on her lip for a moment before letting out a sigh "I'm kind of glad that my adopted parents died."

"Oh." Meredith gulped, definitely not expecting that.

"I mean, I'm sad that they died. But now I'm here with you, and with dad. And I just…I guess I just understand myself more here. I feel like I…like I, fit, I guess."

"Bella." Meredith sighed as she fought a burning sensation in her eyes, she got up and sat down next to Bella on the couch and wrapped an arm around her "You do fit, you fit perfectly here."

"Oh, don't you make excuses for them mother!" they heard screamed from the kitchen "No wonder they didn't have the decency to call us in the last three months!"

"Seriously mom," Bella scoffed "do I really have to like her?"

Meredith giggled and patted her daughter's head.

"No."


	51. Food Fight

**_Chapter 51: Food Fight_**

"Excellent dinner Meredith." Carolyn said across the dinner table "Thank you so much."

"Your welcome." Meredith smiled as she took a bite of chicken.

"Well, it's not home cooked." Nancy scoffed "But it's decent."

"Beggers can't be choosers." Derek muttered and flashed his sister a glare.

"I was perfectly fine eating with my colleagues at the Ritz." Nancy glared back.

"Then go, no one is stopping you."

"Well apparently I have a niece I want to get to know." Nancy said, taking a moment to smile at Bella "I'm so sorry your parents hid you from the rest of your family for so long."

"I'm not." Bella muttered.

"What?"

"Bella," Derek warned "Just eat, they'll be gone soon."

"Whatever." She mumbled into a mouthful of green beans.

"You seem to do a good job eating your greens." Carolyn admonished "It's nice to see a girl so young concerned about vegetables, your Dad was the same."

"I always kind of liked them." Bella shrugged "Plus, Mom said if I ate them, I'd grow boobs."

Nancy gasped as they all looked at Meredith.

"What." She shrugged "I can't tell her it'll put hair on her chest."

"Can't say I'm surprised you would tell a nine-year-old that." Nancy rolled her eyes "You were always crude with your comments, I guess you would tell your own daughter that."

"I tell my daughter what she's going to hear soon enough already." Meredith said politely "I don't wait until they're knocked up to give them the sex speech."

Nancy turned red "I thought Carly had heard it in school already ok!" she huffed "And she wasn't pregnant, it was a scare."

"It's a pitty she doesn't have a mother who's an OB or anything." Meredith snickered.

"At least I kept all my children!" Nancy scoffed, it was a slap in the face, and she knew it. "At least I had the balls to do that."

"Nancy." Derek growled in warning.

"No, I'm not going to hold it in any longer Derek! She needs to know how selfish she was and—" Nancy was suddenly silenced as a gob of mashed potatoes smacked her across the cheek, everyone gasped and turned to the source of where it was thrown.

"Bella!" Derek gasped.

"What." She muttered "Someone had to shut her up! You might think that my mom was mean and selfish, but she did her best. And you know what, I'm not upset over it so no one else should be. My parents died and she could have told them she didn't want me; she could have made me go to a foster home with eight other kids but no. She sucked it up and took me in like she'd been a mom all my life. Yeah, maybe it would have been nice to have been her daughter my whole life, but she's my mom now and a good one ok? So, shut up and stop being mean, as of now I really don't like you."

All mouths were open but not speaking as Bella huffed and sat back in her chair. Finally, they heard a snicker and Derek turned to his wife who was holding her hand over her mouth and trying not to laugh.

"Meredith." Derek hissed. It only made her laugh harder "It's not funny!"

THWAP! Derek gasped as he felt a pile of warm mashed potatoes hit his face, his eyes widened as he looked across the table.

"Mom!" he gasped.

"Don't pick on my granddaughter for speaking her mind."

He felt a slimy green bean hit the side of his cheek and looked to see his wife giggling.

"Yeah." She laughed "Stop being so serious."

"Oh, you want funny?" He grabbed a handful of potatoes and heard her shriek as he wiped it down her face.

"This is ridiculous!" Nancy gasped as she saw the food being flung back and forth, she gasped as a green bean hit her in the chest.

"Oh come on Nancy pants." Meredith snickered "Stop being a prude and join the fun."

"Yeah!" Bella giggled as she dodged a pile of potatoes being thrown at her.

Nancy started laughing and picked up a green bean and tossed it at Bella. They all burst into laughter as an all-out food fight broke out over the dinner table. Carolyn sat back and smiled at how happy her son looked, it may have been unconventional for him to get to this point, but the point was that he was happy now, and that's all that mattered.

* * *

**What did you guys think of the family food fight?**


	52. House to Ourselves

**_Chapter 52: House to Ourselves_**

It had been a week and a half since Derek's mother and sister left, both on a semi good note. Somehow, he felt that his wife and sister would never be best of friends. But they were getting along. He pushed the front door of his house open late one evening and found it filled with candlelight. He frowned and took a moment to think…was it an anniversary, birthday, had he forgotten something?

He tried to rack his mind as he followed the trail of candles around the living room and into the kitchen. He gulped and stopped in the doorway to find his wife sitting cross legged and naked on the island in the center of the kitchen, she had a little French maid hat on her head and a feather duster in her hand, she smirked as he came in.

"H..hi." he gulped to moisten his dry throat "Bella gone?"

"For the evening." She smirked "We have the whole house to ourselves."

"Mmmm." He groaned as he stepped forward "What on earth could we do with an empty nest?"

"Clean." She smirked and ruffled the feather duster over his face "You look like a dirty boy."

"Am I missing something?" he groaned as he clamped his hands on her bare thighs and pulled her legs around his waist "Is there a special occasion?"

There was a twinkle in her eye but she just smiled "Do you need a special occasion to have hot nasty sex with your wife?"

"No." he groaned as his lips mounted against her neck "Forget I asked."

"Oh master." She gasped as she felt his teeth nip at the skin on her neck

"Master?" he smirked.

"It's part of the act." She snapped "Don't get too used to it."

"Ah." He mumbled, his hands weaved into her hair and yanked it back "So you've been cleaning huh, did you get dirty in the process?"

"Oh yes." She gasped as she felt his hand smooth up her thigh and between her legs "Oh I've gotten so, so dirty."

"Well then." He mumbled and slicked his tongue slowly up the length of her neck "I better clean you up."

She moaned as his lips clamped down on hers and his tongue took territory inside of her mouth, swirling around with all his energy as she plucked at the buttons on his shirt and helped him to quickly discard of his clothing, he kicked everything into a pile across the kitchen floor and grabbed hold of her breasts. He leaned over and started flicking and swirling his tongue over her nipple, first one and then the other. She gasped and yanked on his hair in her angst and excitement of the sensation.

"Oops." She moaned as he released her breast from his mouth "I'm making a mess."

"Oh…" he smirked "Where are you making a mess."

"Right here." She said and lifted one leg, stretching it up and placing her foot on the counter, he groaned and almost felt physical pain remembering how incredibly flexible she was "Can you help me clean it up."

"I think I can manage." He choked.

He knelt down and kissed and licked down her flat stomach and around her hips as he made his way to her hot destination. She moaned loudly as he flicked her clit with his tongue and let the tip of his tongue explore her folds delicately before taking a harder hold and sucking her juices as they started to run out of her. Her hand clamped down on the back of his head as she screamed out his name and started to shake and tremble, asking him to stop but he didn't dare think of it. Her arm collapsed as the rest of her body relaxed into her climax and he found her panting excessively as he stood up.

"All clean." He smiled with pride.

"Good." She moaned and took a hold of his large brooding erection, she pumped it and heard him groan loudly "Now make me dirty again."

He took no hesitation in complying with her demands, his hands wrapped around her hips and he entered her with one swift thrust. Her legs twisted around his waist and she buried her face into the crook of his neck, she nipped and sucked on his neck and earlobe as he thrust deeply inside of her, both their groans and moans filled the large kitchen as they pushed each other closer and closer to their climax.

"Oh Derek!" she screamed as she felt herself on the edge "Ohhhh!"

"You like that dirty girl?" he grunted as he pushed himself deeper inside of her "You like being dirty."

"Oh yes." She panted, their lips met in a passionate frenzy and then she pulled away and looked into his eyes "I stopped taking the pill a week ago."

"What." He paused for a moment.

"I stopped taking the pill." She repeated.

"What…" he gulped "What does that mean."

"What do you think it means!" she scoffed and slapped her hand on his ass "Fertilize me!"

He groaned and thrust hard and deep, hitting all the way to her back wall and sent them both into a shaking orgasm. After they finished, they collapsed into each other, her arm rested around his neck and after catching her breath she picked her head up and smiled at him.

"That's the occasion." She smiled softly "I want us to make a baby."

"Well." He grinned and placed a soft tender kiss on her lips "Why didn't you say so?"

He then picked her up off the counter and carried her quickly up the stairs to their bedroom, hearing her giggles fill the house.


	53. I Need Help

**_Chapter 53: I Need Help_**

Meredith went into her office shortly after leaving the ladies room and closed the door behind her, secluding herself from the rest of the hospital. She felt butterflies in her stomach and sat down behind her desk. This was it, or it could be it. She pulled the white stick out from her lab coat and set it face up on her desk. She looked at the screen and let out a frustrated sigh.

_'not pregnant'_

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together before tossing it into the wastebasket under her desk where all the others went in the past few months. She knew that it hadn't been long enough to stir up concern, but she was getting impatient, and she felt old. She wanted to be pregnant right now, the clock was ticking, and she knew that the older she got the more difficult it would be to take care of a baby. Sure, she had Derek, but she wanted to be a fairly young mom, and her dream of that was slipping with each month.

She looked at her schedule and noticed her morning free, so she got up and exited the office as she headed to the elevator. She hit the OB floor and luckily no one else was on the elevator to see her get off there. She walked up to the admitting desk where an overly friendly nurse gave her a beaming smile.

"Can I help you Doctor?" she asked.

"Addison Forbes Montgomery." Meredith said in a cool surgeon tone. The clerk was a little taken back but nodded.

"Let me page her."

"No need." She heard behind the station and Meredith looked up to see a stone jawed red head staring at her. "I'm right here."

"Addison." Meredith faked a smile.

"What do you want, Meredith?"

"A word in private would be nice."

Addison arched her brow "Something must be up, you're acting too nice."

"Acting being the key phrase." Meredith smirked.

"Follow me." Addison shook her head and led Meredith around the hallway and to a back-exam room. Meredith hopped up on the table as Addison leaned against the counter "What."

"Still bitter after all these years?"

"You stole my boyfriend on prom night."

"Do you honestly think he'd have been your boyfriend all that much longer?" Meredith asked, "I mean, he was a wild hair, and you wanted to settle down."

"Something tells me that you were the wild hair and he just followed you wherever."

"Water under the bridge." Meredith sighed "Is this going to get in the way of our professional relationship?"

"We have no professional relationship." Addison frowned, "I'm an OB-GYN and you're a surgeon. We hardly see each other."

"So, I'll take that as a no?"

"What is this about, Meredith?" Addison scoffed "I have patients to see. Don't surgeons have patients to see?"

"I have a floor full." She nodded "But I made the time to come see you."

"Something tells me that it wasn't because you missed my face."

"No." Meredith mumbled and played with her fingers, Addison saw that something was bothering Meredith, and though she didn't like her much she felt compelled to listen, Meredith finally looked up and let out a soft sigh "Derek and I are trying to have a baby."

"Ok," Addison let out a dry laugh "I don't need to hear the details."

"Addison I need you to check me out." Meredith almost pleaded "You're the best. Believe me I'd love to spare the both of us the discomfort of interaction, but I need help, and you're the best there is. So please, just…get it over with."

Addison could see the desperation in her voice and let out a hard sigh before pulling out a notepad and pen. "How long have you been trying?"

"Three months."

"Meredith." She laughed "That's nothing, it usually takes most people six."

"I'm twenty-eight."

"I've had mom's over forty before."

"I'm twenty-eight." Meredith repeated, "I can't wait another three months to try and see if I can get pregnant or not. I'm running out of time, I don't want to be pregnant past thirty because of my blood disease, Pyphoria, you know it gets worse with age and the younger I am when I conceive, the less likely the baby is to catch this genetic defect. And not to mention also ten years ago I got pregnant while on the pill. I feel like something is wrong."

"On the pill huh?" Addison raised her brow "I didn't know you had a kid."

"Surprise." Meredith grinned.

"Well I'll run labs and do an exam. If anything, I'll see about prescribing something to help you along."

"Thank you." Meredith said with relief.

She got into a gown and submitted to an exam. Addison was good, and professional, she remained so whether she liked the patient or not. As routine she started to palpate Meredith's abdomen and then breasts. She stopped and frowned but turned to write something in her chart.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Nothing." Addison said mum "Your exam looked normal."

"That look you just gave me didn't seem like everything was normal."

Addison hesitated a blow off response but then considered that Meredith was a doctor "Meredith, how often do you do a self-breast exam?"

"I don't know." She frowned "Derek grabs the damn things enough; I figure if he feels anything out of place, he'll tell me…why?'

"Ever heard of too much information?" Addison asked through her teeth, Meredith shrugged. "I just, I felt something but it's probably nothing."

"What." Meredith frowned "What did you feel?"

"Here." Addison said, she took Meredith's hand and brought it to her lower left breast and prodded "Feel that?" Meredith's eyes tightened as she nodded.

"What is it?"

"Most likely a cyst." Addison said, "but at your age…I'd like to do a needle biopsy."

"I know you're not trying to subtly tell me I'm old." Meredith glared "You're a month older than me."

"Relax." Addison smirked "I'll be right back with the aspiration kit."

Meredith nodded and gulped after she left the room. She kept poking and prodding the lump, it did indeed feel like a cyst and she had no reason to worry but she didn't like it being there. Addison came in a minute later with a tray of instruments. Meredith looked over just as Addison snapped gloves on and held up a long needle and smirked.

"You know," Meredith said, "Those needles don't look nearly as big when you're the one holding them."

"Don't worry." Addison giggled lightly "I won't hurt you any more than I have to."

"I know…that's what I'm afraid of."


	54. Results Are In

**_Chapter 54: Results Are In_**

"Thanks for helping me." Meredith said as she scrubbed in next to Derek "Not that I really need the help."

"God no." Derek chuckled "You would never admit to it."

"I don't need to admit to anything." She sneered "I'm perfectly fine on my own, it will just go a lot more smoothly, ouch." She hissed and grabbed her breast. "Shit."

"Are you ok?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah." She sighed "I Just have to scrub in again."

"Ok." He nodded, unconvinced but leaving it alone for now. "Well I'll meet you in the OR."

"Ok." She nodded as she started to soap her hands over again.

She gulped as she felt the small burning pain and hoped that it was just pregnancy related, maybe the test had been wrong? Maybe she really was pregnant. After all her period was due that day and she'd yet to see aunt Flo. She heard the door to the scrub room open and looked over to see a tall red head. Her face fell as she took in the remorseful gaze in her eyes, she stood there holding a lab slip.

"Meredith." She mumbled quietly.

Meredith knew what she was there to tell her, but she didn't want to hear it. She glanced into the OR and sighed as she tried to clear her head for surgery.

"I'm about to go into surgery Addison." She mumbled "I'll have to catch up with you later."

"But Meredith," she mumbled "this shouldn't wait."

"Actually it should." She said "I need to focus on performing surgery and I can't do that when I'm thinking about other things."

"Meredith I need you to realize the gravity of this circumstance."

"I realize that if you don't turn around and leave I'll make you."

"Where's Derek?" asked at the same time she peeked into the OR "Maybe he should come in here." She started to take a step towards me, and Meredith stepped to block her.

"Do-NOT-push me!" she growled. Addison reared her head back slightly, looking a little timid.

"Meredith." She muttered, but Meredith turned around and marched into the OR, shooting Addison a warning glare.

"What took you so long?" Derek asked, "I was about to do the surgery without you."

"Sorry." Meredith mumbled as she stepped up to the table "I had an issue."

"Everything ok?" He asked, knowing it wasn't like his wife to take his jabs without saying something smart ass'ed back.

"Yeah." She smiled through her mask "Everything is fine."

Just then she heard the OR doors open and felt her hair stand up, she sighed heavily and turned to see Addison holding a mask and looking at her worried.

"Addison!" Meredith hissed "I swear to God if you say a word, I will royally kick your ass, right here in the OR!"

"I'm sorry Meredith." Addison gulped "I know this is a bad time, but you need to start thinking of your options right away, time is against us."

"What." Derek frowned "Meredith, what is she talking about?"

"Nothing." Meredith growled. "Addison is being delusional."

"I AM THE ONE?" Addison scoffed "I'm not the one with my life lingering in my hands."

Meredith felt a sharp pain in her chest and saw Derek's confused and worried stare on her. She looked up at him sheepishly and let out a sigh.

"Meredith." He said softly "What's going on?"

"I have breast cancer." She said, all air in the room seemed to stop as everyone gasped in a breath, Derek looked at her with wide eyes full of disbelief "I need a ten blade." She brushed it off and held her hand out, she sighed when there was no response "Are you going to help me or not!"


	55. Is This True?

**_Chapter 55: Is This True?_**

Meredith walked into her office and tore her scrub cap off; her hair fell long against her back as she paced in an irritated manner around the walls of her office. Her eyes burned as tears started to form and she looked at all the placards on the wall, all the achievements that she won and won and earned rightfully so. She had lived a good life, and achieved a lot in her twenty-eight years, but she still felt as if she had just begun.

Sure, she did become a good doctor an excellent surgeon, she was sought after all over the world and her name was published in medical books. But she had a daughter that she was just getting to know, and a husband of only a few months. She knew now that life wasn't all about surgery, and there were more important things than cutting.

She felt robbed, her life was finally starting to mean something significant, and all of the sudden it was a train wreck of the possibility of losing it. She heard the office door open swiftly and slam shut, she didn't have to turn around to see who it was, she already knew. Slowly she turned to face his watery deep blue eyes, so full of despair.

"What the hell was that?!" Derek demanded.

"What the hell do you think it was?" Meredith glowered back. "Apparently Addison still hasn't grown into keeping her mouth shut."

"Were you going to tell me?" he started to feel his voice shake. How long have you known, I mean, were you going to tell me at all!"

"Of course, I was going to tell you!" she shouted as tears pooled in her eyes. "I had just found out myself for god sakes. I was at least going to wait until after surgery!"

So, it's true then? He gulped at the knot in his throat.

"Yeah." She sniffled as her voice trailed off into a squeak. She sunk down into the office chair behind her desk as the tears broke through and started running down her face. She leaned forward into her hands and felt her chest shake a few times before his hand caressed up and down her back.

"It's ok." He whispered into her ear, "It'll be ok. There are lots of options and we will do whatever we have to, to keep you alive.

"I'm not afraid of death, Derek." She cried and looked up at him "I already know that I'm not going to die."

"Oh." He said, unaware of what else to say.

Meredith let a sob out and then took in a deep breath "I'm pissed!

"You're pissed?" he frowned.

"Yes," she shrieked. "This is such a fucking inconvenience! Do you know how many surgeries I'm going to miss, do you know how many times Bella will come home crying over a boy or wanting to know how to put make up on and not look like a hooker, and I might not be there because It'll be throwing up chemotherapy or here getting my boobs butchered! So yeah Derek, I'm pissed!"

"You're pissed." He said.

And then to both of their surprise he broke into a fit of laughter. She stared at him precariously and soon burst into her own laughter. They laughed hard, and the more they tried to stop they laughed harder. He pulled her into him and soon they were laughing so hard their cheeks were wet with tears, the laughter died down and the tears still flowed but they held tightly onto one another.

"I can't believe this is happening." She sniffled.

"I know." He whispered as he placed a kiss on her temple. "We'll get through it."

"I mean," she sighed. "I smoked a pack a week at least for ten years, I screwed everything with a pulse, the one thing I haven't damaged with poor choices are my boobs and now they're trying to kill me?" she sighed heavily It's just not fair."


	56. I Have Breast Cancer

**_Chapter 56: I Have Breast Cancer_**

"Bella." Derek said as he and Meredith sat next to each other on the couch, she on the chair across them. "We have something to tell you."

"Ok." She frowned as she studied the looks of worry on her parents faces "Did someone die?"

"No." Meredith said and looked at her lap "No one's dead…. yet."

"No one is going to die!" Derek snapped and looked at her absurd that she'd said that.

"What's going on?" Bella asked.

"What we're going to tell you…well it's probably not news you're going to like." Meredith said.

"Are you pregnant?" Bella gasped "Because that would be cool, I wouldn't be mad."

"No." Meredith's face fell "No honey I'm not pregnant."

"Mom is sick." Derek mumbled, still in disbelief himself "She's sick."

"Sick." Bella scoffed, "You don't look sick. You look fine."

"It's a sickness that's inside me Bella." Meredith said as she tried to force the right words out.

"It's not something you can see, but it's there." Derek added.

"Look." Bella sighed heavily and rolled her eyes "I'm not a baby, I can take it. It's not going to make me scream and cry if I hear the truth, so just tell me what it is so I can process it already."

They both looked at her stunned and then glanced at each other. Derek grabbed Meredith's hand and cupped it in his.

"I have breast cancer Bella."

"Oh." She frowned and then smoothed out her expression "Well why didn't you say so?"

"What." Meredith giggled dryly "What do you mean. You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?"

"Because people die of breast cancer." Meredith shook her head "And you already lost parents."

Bella looked at Meredith for a long moment and then bolted from her seat and ran past them and up the stairs.

"Shit." Meredith muttered "Bella!"

"Bella!" Derek called out to her "Come back here!"

"I'll be there in a second!" Bella yelled back. And a few seconds later she came running down the stairs with a magazine in her hands. She stopped in front of Meredith and folded it open before placing it in Meredith's hands. "I'm not upset because I know you're not going to die."

"You do?" Meredith asked surprised.

"I read about this study on breast cancer a few weeks ago when I couldn't sleep." Bella said pointing to the page "It's some vitamin stuff they inject into the cancer and it kills it. It's a cure basically. And you're my mom. You're the strongest person I know, so yeah Mom, I know you're not going to die."

Meredith looked at Bella in disbelief just before she folded her arms around her and they hugged tightly, Meredith batted back tears and couldn't believe the strength her daughter not only had, but was giving her.

"Can I go call Chelsea and invite her over for dinner? I'm bored."

"Yeah." Meredith nodded and smiled, "Of course."

"Thanks mom."

Meredith nodded and watched Bella run back up the stairs to her room. She looked at the empty staircase for a few long minutes and then let out a sigh of peace.

"I keep forgetting." She said "We don't have the average little girl."

"No." Derek chuckled "We don't."

Meredith turned and looked at him, they stared into each other's eyes and a content smile crossed their lips.

"I couldn't have asked for two better people to help get me through this." She said, "I love you."

"Meredith." He breathed and reached out then pulled her into his arms tightly, he kissed the top of her head and cradled her head under his chin "I love you too, and Bella is right, you're not dying from this."

She smiled and closed her eyes, letting out another sigh of content and whispered…

"I know."

* * *

**How well do you think Bella took the cancer news?**


	57. Decisions

**_Chapter 57: Decisions_**

"I want them off." Meredith said as she sat in a hospital room with two doctors and Derek in the chair beside her.

"Meredith." Derek frowned "There are other options. Your cancer is metastatic yes, but it's caught early."

"Shut up." She glared "They're my boobs and I want them off."

"So you want a double mastectomy." Addison raised her brow and glanced at the oncologist "Are you sure, you can't take that back."

"I've always been proud of my boobs." Meredith said "But now they're trying to kill me. I love my arms and legs too but if they were trying to kill me, I'd chop them off too."

"And your head?" Derek scoffed with absurdity. Meredith rolled her eyes but ignored him.

"What about your eggs?" Dr. Wendell asked, "Do you want to harvest them before you go through chemotherapy, Dr. Montgomery said you'd wanted to have a baby before this happened."

"No." Meredith gulped.

"Mer?" Derek asked in a much softer voice "I thought you wanted a baby."

"I did." She sighed "And I still might want one after I kick cancer's ass. But I don't want one conceived in a petri dish." She looked over at Derek and gave a soft smile "If we're going to have another baby, other than Bella, it'll be as meant to be as she was."

"And what if the chemo makes that impossible?" he asked.

"Then it's not meant to be." She shrugged "And we'll just have Bella."

"Very well." Dr. Montgomery nodded "I suppose I'm no longer needed then."

"Addison." Meredith stopped her, Addison turned around and sighed "Thank you."

"For what?"

Meredith gulped and let out a humble sigh, "For saving my life."

Addison's lips pulled back into a small smile and nodded "I hope you use it well then."

Meredith nodded "I will."

"Well." Dr. Wendell said, "I'll see if we can't schedule you a consult with the on-duty plastic surgeon for tomorrow so we can get it over with and start your chemo."

"Oh that's already taken care of." Meredith smirked.

"It is?" Both Derek and the oncologist said simultaneously.

"Oh yes." Meredith grinned "I'm the best at what I do, so I want the best hands working on me."

"Did someone beckon?" they all heard at the door.

"Oh good, you're here." Meredith smiled and reached behind her, she untied her gown and then let it fall down and pool around her waist "Let's get started."

"Meredith!" Derek gasped as he jumped up and covered her with a blanket "What the hell are you doing!" he scowled at the man in the doorway smirking at them both "Mark, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know Mark?" Meredith asked.

"Yes." Derek nodded "We had a practice together in New York, before I moved out here to Seattle with you."

"Well this'll be awkward." Meredith said with a hint of a giggle then slapped Derek's hand away to let the blanket drop "Now if you don't mind, he's doing a consult."

"Mark." Derek said narrowly "You called in Mark to chop your boobs off."

"And rebuild me some new ones." She nodded "Like I said, I want the best."

"And I am the best." Mark grinned as he stepped forward.

"Mark…" Derek ground his teeth together "Is going to be feeling my wife up."

"Well if you choose to see it that way it's on you." Meredith rolled her eyes "But yes, I suppose he is."

Mark grinned, "And lovin' every minute of it."


	58. Surgery Time

**_Chapter 58: Surgery Time_**

Meredith was confident, even when looking cancer in the face, she was confident that she would survive, she was brave enough to do the extreme, she was having her breasts cut off today, and she wasn't scared…at least until she laid down on the table and looked up at the bright surgical lights. Fear isn't something she was used to feeling…it was rare.

"This is weird." She mumbled.

"What's that?" Mark asked as he dried his hands off.

"I don't think I've ever looked up at this ceiling." She said, "I've always looked down."

"It's humbling, isn't it?" Mark smirked.

"You're going to fix this right; I'll still have boobs?"

"Yes." He said "I'll remove the breast tissue, the cancer isn't too bad so I'll be able to put implants in right away."

She looked at him hesitant, as she felt fear starting to get the best of her.

"Meredith?" he asked "Are you alright?"

"Derek." She gulped as she felt her eyes mist "Have you seen, Derek?"

"No." he said remorsefully "I haven't seen him since he stormed out yesterday."

"Well you had your hands on his wife's breasts." She snarked "I would be pissed too."

"I guess so." He chuckled "I should be glad he didn't deck me first."

"True." She laughed dryly "Derek has a very good right hook." She let out a quivering sigh and sniffled "Do you think he'll show up?"

"Do you want me to page him?" Mark asked.

She thought about it for a second and then gulped "I just…" she let out a long sigh and closed her eyes "I just can't get it together…and he always knows how to calm me down."

"What does he usually do?" Mark asked, "Maybe I can give it a shot."

"I usually tell her she's overreacting." They heard at the doorway, Meredith turned her head and a large grin spread across her face, he smiled at her through his mask "And tell her that everything will be ok, because she's strong, and beautiful, and for the last twenty-years she's told the world to fuck off, so there's no reason to back down now." He walked over and leaned over, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead then snaked his hand around hers as he sat on a stool next to her head "And when all else fails, I hold her hand."

"You showed up." She whispered.

"I'll always show up." He smiled. "I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"You have a right to be." She said, "I know you're scared too."

They smiled at each other and then she looked up and took a deep breath. "Ok." She said.

"Ok?" Mark asked, "We're ready to get started?"

"Yes." She nodded "Do your magic Mark."

"I always do."

"I'm serious." She barked "I want class A, top of the line tits. If you can't give them to me then don't even bother waking me up, because I'll be pissed, and just ask any intern in this hospital what it's like having the wrath of Meredith thrown down upon them."

Mark chuckled as he held the gas mask over her face.

"Good night Meredith."


	59. What Makes You Beautiful

**_Chapter 59: What Makes You Beautiful_**

"How do they look?" she asked Derek after Mark removed the dressings a week later.

He raised his brow in approval "They look as good if not better than the original."

"How do they feel?" Mark asked, he turned to Derek and smirked "Unless of course you want me to check that out."

He narrowed his eyes and then sighed "I don't want to hurt her."

"Be gentle." She said, "But go ahead, grope me, you never opposed before."

Derek rolled his eyes and cupped his hands around her breasts, gently feeling her up. He smiled "I honestly can't tell the difference."

"Well done Mark." Meredith grinned "Now, I know why they call you the best."

"Only the best works on the best." He grinned. "I'll be back to check on you in a few days, but I see no complications arising."

"Oh, are you psychic now Mark?" Derek asked.

"No." He smirked "Just that good."

Derek rolled his eyes as Mark exited the room, leaving the two alone. Derek sighed as he looked back at his wife and smiled softly at her, grateful that they'd gotten all the cancer and that though he wouldn't care, he was glad that the implants looked just as good as the old ones.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine." She said, he gave her a firm look of disbelief, she sighed with defeat "I'm sore, but I'll be fine. The chemo hasn't kicked in yet and it's just going to be enough to make sure it gets all the cancer, so I don't have to worry about it again."

"I know, you'll be fine." He said, "But I was asking if you were _okay_."

She looked at him and gulped as a knot formed in her throat and tears welled in her eyes. She whimpered and he pulled her into his chest and kissed her as he held her securely.

"It's ok to be upset." He whispered "You're going through a tough and scary thing right now. We're all scared."

"I'm not scared." She sniffled.

"Meredith its ok to.."

"I'm not!" she sniffled and pulled back "I'm not scared I'm…" she reached up and raked her fingers through her hair, as she did a clump of strands stuck between her fingers and she held it out in front of her as tears streaked down her cheeks "I'm losing my hair!"

His heart broke a little but he started to chuckle, she looked at him through her tears and giggled a little. He reached out and grabbed a pinch of a strand of her hair and it came out easily.

"You don't need hair to look beautiful." He reassured her "Who you are is what makes you beautiful."

"Thank you." She sniffled "But I don't think bald is a good look for me."

"Look at it this way." He grinned "At least you won't have to worry about having a bad hair day."

"See." She giggled and leaned in to kiss him "This is why I love you."

"Why's that?"

"Because you turn my tears into laughter."

"I know you'd do the same for me." He smiled.

"In a heartbeat."


	60. Epilogue

**_Chapter 60: Epilogue_**

Bella walked from the kitchen where she finished an after-school snack and slowly wandered into the living room, peeking around the couch to see little arms and legs flailing and kicking around at the plastic toys and mirrors that hung above its head. She sighed with relief as she sauntered further into the room and knelt down to the floor next to the baby gym.

"Thank god." She sighed "I was tired of being quiet while you napped, mom said I was dead if I woke you up."

The big blue eyes followed the sound of her voice and they stared at each other for a long minute, Bella smiled and smoothed her hand over the soft brown curls that clung to the baby's head.

"You know you're kind of cute." She giggled "But I'm not surprised, after all, you are MY baby sister. Mom and dad might say you get your good looks from them, but you get them from me…just thought you should know the truth."

Bella giggled as she tugged at the chubby cheek and the baby cooed at her and flashed her a small gummy smile. Bella started to smell something not so pleasant rise up from the floor and scrunched up her nose.

"Ew!" she gagged "That is not so cute." She turned towards the doorway "MOM!"

* * *

_"I'm cancer free!" Meredith gasped as she'd sat behind the desk of her oncologist, her hair was down to her shoulders now and she weighed 30 pounds less than she needed to, but she was glowing._

_"You are." The doctor congratulated her._

_"No more cancer." Meredith grinned as Derek sat next to her squeezing her hand "I guess we can make that baby now."_

_"Well maybe not right… right away." Derek flushed as he knew his wife had no shame and would jump him in the hall given permission. He heard what the doctor said and wanted to make sure she was in good health before they tried for a baby, after all she'd been sick the past few weeks and that worried him. "Maybe we should wait until you get over your bug."_

_"It's just a bug." Meredith rolled her eyes and addressed the doctor "How soon can we try for a baby?"_

_"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that." She mumbled._

_"I can't." Meredith's face instantly fell, and she felt tears burn her eyes, it surprised her seeing as she wasn't normally an emotional person, but cancer had changed a lot about her... "That's what you have to say, I can't have kids, my time has passed."_

_"No." the doctor chuckled "Actually it's quite the opposite."_

_"What do you mean?" Derek frowned._

_"When we did your bloodwork, we noticed that your Hcg was elevated to 23,000."_

_"Ok." She frowned and felt her head a little cloudy as to what to think, Derek fell back into the back of his chair with a thud "What…what does that mean?"_

_"You're pregnant Meredith." She smiled "I'm no gynie but I'd say you're in the middle to late trimester."_

_"I'm…" she gasped and felt a sudden jolt of anger "Pregnant!" she turned and glared at Derek "What the fuck! Your little swimmers couldn't wait a few weeks could they, just had to fucking invade my egg farm right away didn't they!"_

_"Hey!" Derek scoffed "I didn't exactly tell them to give it a go. And you certainly didn't protest either!"_

_Meredith huffed and sat back into her chair as she crossed her arms, the oncologist looked at them in shock and gulped as she slowly got up._

_"I um… I'll give you two a little alone time."_

* * *

"MOM!" Bella yelled through the house "MOM!"

"What the hell is on fire, Bella!" Meredith hissed from the kitchen as she stormed through the house "I told you to be quiet, so you don't wake the baby!"

"She's awake." Bella said as Meredith reached the room "And she…. stinks!"

Meredith frowned as she walked into the room further and then turned up her nose "Oh god…she does." She sighed "Ok well babies…well they…. they poop. Its normal."

"That smell…is so not normal!" Bella said as she pinched her nose and groaned.

Meredith looked at the baby and hesitated and then looked at Bella "You know how to change diapers right?"

"What!" Bella scoffed "No!"

"But you've watched Dad change them."

"Ew, no!" she shrieked "You're the mom…you change it."

"I…" Meredith hesitated "I…I don't know how. I've never done it before."

"How can you not have done it before?"

"In the five months we've had her Dad's always done it so no, Arabella, I have no idea how to change a diaper!"

* * *

_"Sorry it took me so long." Derek breathed as he set the bag down on the counter of the kitchen "The clerks at the supermarket aren't exactly in a hurried mood at two in the morning."_

_"Well they should be." Meredith muttered as she rubbed her swollen belly and tore the items from the bag. "Sardines, waffles, strawberries, pineapple, green olives, pimentos, whipped cream, and vanilla ice cream."_

_"I didn't forget anything this time, did I?" Derek asked nervously, she looked up at him fiercely and then frowned._

_"No." she mumbled "Have I been that much of a bitch?"_

_"Um." He gulped "No?" she glared at him "Maybe just a little, but it's completely understandable. I'm more than HAPPY to get up at two in the morning to go get you and the baby whatever you wish to eat. It's no problem really…I just don't want to make another five trips to the store. I think they're starting to know me by name."_

_Meredith rolled her eyes as she got the blender out and plugged it in. Derek felt repulsed as he imagined what she was about to do._

_"Mer," he asked hesitantly "Are you going to put all….ALL of those items in the blender?"_

_She looked up as she started tossing things in "Yeah…why?"_

_He forced himself not to gag and smiled "No reason, um…did you need any more help, I think I need to get back to sleep, early surgery."_

_"You are weak." She scoffed "You just can't stand there and watch me eat absurd things after you go and knock me up…fuck, you should be eating them with me!"_

_"I…" he mumbled as he searched for a way out, but let out a sigh "I would love to."_

_She smiled as she turned the blender on, he cringed inwardly but painted on a smile and tried to not think about what he was about to consume._

* * *

"When is Dad going to be home?" Bella asked.

"He got called into an emergency on his way out the door." Meredith sighed "He could be hours."

"Crap, we're so screwed." Bella groaned.

"We're not screwed." Meredith scolded

"Can we just leave her in it?"

"NO!" Meredith hissed "Would you like to sit in your own shit for hours?"

"What do we do then?"

"I need a diaper." She sighed "You know where they're at right?"

"Um..no!" Bella muttered "Again, I don't change diapers."

"Shit." Meredith sighed "I don't know either." The baby started to fuss and wiggle uncomfortably and Meredith puckered her lips as she lifted the baby and held her out in front of her "Hang on little one, we'll…figure something out."

* * *

_"What should we name him?" Derek asked as they sat in the waiting room. Meredith flipped the page of her magazine and looked up, raising one eyebrow._

_"Him?" she asked, "What makes you think it's a boy?"_

_"Just a feeling." He grinned as he ran his hand over her large belly "It feels like a boy."_

_"I'm the one feeling it kick the shit out of me more than you are." She scoffed "I say we're having a kangaroo." She snorted as she flipped another page "Maybe we should name it Roo."_

_"Or Rudy." He said._

_"Or Ruby." She retorted and gave him a sharp look._

_"Dr. and Mrs. Shepherd?" a nurse asked._

_"I guess we're about to find out."_

_They both got up and followed a nurse to a dark room and waited as the ultrasound tech rolled jelly and a wand over Meredith's large overgrown stomach, getting all the measurements and pictures that she needed for the obstetrician._

_"Everything looks great." She said after about ten minutes "Would you like to know what it is?"_

_"Yes," Meredith said "But I want Derek to tell me."_

_"Can you read an ultrasound screen?" the tech asked._

_"I'm only a world renown neurosurgeon." He scoffed "I think I can handle it."_

_Meredith rolled her eyes as the tech got out of the way, Derek moved the wand over her belly and looked intently at the screen as he tried to figure it out, then broke into a bright grin._

_"It's a Rudy, isn't it?" Meredith grumbled._

_"No." Derek laughed "I was wrong… we're having a Ruby."_

_"A girl." Meredith felt her eyes spring water almost immediately "We're having a girl?"_

_"Yes." He said leaning in to kiss her "Looks like I'll be living in another house full of women."_

_"Oh God, we don't have to name her Ruby." She sniffled._

_"I know." He laughed._

* * *

"Shh, it's okay Ellie." Meredith soothed as she supported her in the sink of tepid water, she held the five-month-old with one hand and sprayed with the sink hose using the other hand. "Just cleaning off your little toosh since you made a royal mess of it. I have to say, you do that quite well, I can't imagine how well you'll do other things."

"Is it over yet?" Bella asked from the doorway.

"Yes." Meredith glared "No thanks to any help from you."

"I just couldn't watch." Bella frowned "Can I help now?"

"Go get me a towel and my medical bag from my office."

"Medical bag?" Bella frowned "Is she hurt?"

"No, but we're going to have to put SOMETHING back on her."

* * *

_"I'm going to be pregnant forever." Meredith groaned as she waddled to the couch and slowly lowered her huge ass down to it "This baby is taking up a permanent residence."_

_"You're not going to be pregnant forever." Derek chuckled as he handed her an iced lemonade and a kiss on the forehead "Dr. Montgomery said it's only a few days past your due date, its normal to go overdue, and if you want she can induce after next week's appointment."_

_"I'm not trying to be one of those bitchy pregnant women who are ungrateful of having a human life inside of them…but it's a hundred degrees outside and humid as fuck. I'm feeling a little ungrateful."_

_"Just think, you can relax now, when you go into labor the last thing, you'll be able to do is relax." He soothed, she looked up at him and gave him a death glare "That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?"_

_"Yeah." She growled._

_"I'm sorry." He sighed and sat down, he picked her feet up and started rubbing them softly "I know you're miserable, and I wish there was something I could do."_

_"I know." She gulped and rubbed her hand over her whale sized belly "And I should be grateful, we came this close to this not happening, I should be grateful." She felt a cramp and then a huge gush, Derek's eyes grew wide as he jumped up, she looked down to see that her water had broken and groaned "Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus!"_

* * *

"You want me to do what with the gauze?" Bella asked.

"Just roll it around her legs as I hold her up." Meredith said as she dried the baby off on the counter "And around her hips and ass, just cover her up like a diaper."

"But..."

"You want to be a doctor?" Meredith raised her brow "This is good practice."

Bella sighed with defeat and Meredith held the baby up and made goofy faces at her to keep her happy and giggling as Bella rolled the white gauze around her hips and bottom until it was all covered.

"Ok, now what."

"Take the medical tape and rip a piece off to fasten the gauze." Meredith instructed, Bella nodded and did so.

"Done!" Bella grinned, Meredith held the baby up and inspected it.

"Good job." She smiled and then cradled the baby in her arms "We did it!"

* * *

_"Push!" Derek encouraged Meredith as he sat by her side and coached her "Come on Mer, one more."_

_"I am pushing god Damnit!" she groaned as she grunted down "You don't think its good enough then YOU get down here and fucking do it!"_

_"Meredith." Addison said softly, Meredith looked down and saw as Addison delivered the baby's head "There's your baby, one more push and she's yours."_

_"Oh god." Meredith gasped, she took in a deep breath and then bore down and watched as the baby slid out and cried immediately. She felt her eyes flood with tears as Addison placed the baby on her chest "Oh she's here, she's so pretty and she's here."_

_"And you thought she'd never come." Derek smiled as he leaned down and kissed them both._

_"Congratulations." Addison smiled "What's her name?"_

_Derek and Meredith grinned at each other and then looked at the little one "Elenore," Meredith sniffled "Elenore Grey Shepherd."_

* * *

Meredith had the baby in her arms, wrapped in a towel and her 'gauze-diaper' and Bella cheering as they danced around the kitchen when the front door opened. Derek heard the excitement and smiled as he walked in.

"What's the celebration?" Derek chuckled.

"We did it!" Meredith grinned as she walked over to him.

"Did what?"

"We changed Ruby's diaper!" Bella giggled.

Derek frowned and looked to see the mass of taped gauze around the baby's bum and fought to hold in his laughter "And so you did."

"You've really got to show me where the damn diapers are." Meredith muttered as she handed the baby over to Derek, he took her and planted several kisses on her cheeks, making her giggle and croon "I had to…improvise."

"I see that." He chuckled "But you did a good job." He sighed "Come with me."

She followed him up the stairs to the nursery and he walked over to the changing table where a long pillowcase looking thing hung with a slit up the middle was. He pointed to it.

"This thing right here? It's a diaper hanger." He said and reached in and pulled out a small white rectangle "And it holds diapers." He held up a few items off the table "Baby wipes, to clean her dirty bum, baby powder to keep moisture off and avoid diaper rash, and Desitin in case she does get a rash."

Meredith took it all in as Derek re-changed the baby's diaper, she felt a lump form in her throat and tears sprang out of her eyes as did a sob, Derek looked up at the strangled sound and frowned.

"Mer?" he asked "Babe, what's wrong, you did a great job, I was just telling you. And I'm only changing her because diapers usually hold up better than gauze."

"I know." She sniffled "I just…I should know already. I should know this."

"It's my fault really." He soothed as he finished up the diaper wrapping "I just like doing this kind of stuff, so I never let you have the chance."

"But I'm thirty-one years old!" she sobbed "And a mother of two and a half and I still don't know how to change a fucking diaper…how pathetic is that!"

"Mer its…" he started to say then stopped and frowned, "Two and a _half_?"

Her tears stopped and she sniffled, she let out a sigh and pulled a white stick out of her sweater pocket "Oh yeah, I forgot." She held it up and gave him a sheepish smile "I'm pregnant."

"Well that's good." He smiled hesitantly, not sure how she felt about it yet. He scooped Elenore up and bounced her in his arms as he stepped towards her, "It's good right?"

"I don't know." She started to cry again "I'm a bad mom, I can't change a diaper, and she likes you better than she likes me and… I never even had Bella as a baby and I..I…"

"Hey." He whispered as he stopped in front of her, "Stop." Ellie looked up at Meredith and reached out for her, Meredith whimpered as she took the baby and held her tight, kissing her on the head as Derek wiped away the tears "You're tired and overwhelmed and…hormonal." She glared at him "It's true."

"Yeah." She sniffled "It's true."

"So close your eyes and remember what you always told me when I needed reassurance." He said softly as she closed her eyes "Where do we go when we need it to be just us, when we need to get away from the world."

She felt her tears dry and her sobs calm and smiled as she felt relief and certainty wash over her, she smiled softly and whispered.

"Somewhere only we know."

* * *

**Overall, what did you think about this story?**


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